Arabella Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 We were long distance and after six months of talking about getting back together, now we're in the same area. He spent almost four weeks blowing me off, including one time that he asked to come over for dinner and ended up bailing last minute. He kept rescheduling and telling me how much he wanted to see me. It didn't seem normal though so I questioned why he kept doing that. After a lot of asking, he finally told me he's been doing drugs again. Basically, he spends the day working and the evening getting high with his friends, so that's why he can't meet me. I told him I was done and I couldn't be in his life anymore. I even added that I would help if he ever wanted to quit (I have some experience with that...), but until then I was done. Not a peep from him since. It's been four days. I feel like I'm dying inside. He cared about drugs more than he did about me. Arabella
heavensmesenger Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 I'm so sorry to hear about your story. But look at it this way, it's only been 4 days right? Unfortunately if he wants to do drugs he will whether you like it or not. I wish I could offer you some great advice but all I can say is that he'll see what he's missing. I wish I had somebody as dedicated to myself as you are to him. Keep smiling, never look back, focus on yourself now, see friends and leave him to it. Drugs are a bad addiction, they tear families apart.
Author Arabella Posted June 24, 2010 Author Posted June 24, 2010 Thank you for the response... He knows exactly what he's missing. This is the guy that once upon a time called me the love of his life, wanted to have children with me, etc. Even one of the past few days before we stopped talking, he said he still felt like I was the love of his life. So why do this? I just don't understand. Even if you take me out of the equation, why would anyone choose that lifestyle? Sigh... I guess on the plus side is that for the first time ever, I feel like I can finally walk away from him without regrets. He CHOSE this. Arabella
ADF Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 If he is a addict--and it sounds like he is--his behavior is pretty typical. It is in no way a statement about you. Addicts will choose drugs over anyone and anything.
Feelin Frisky Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 If it's just hanging out and smoking weed with the guys, he's an azzhole for going in that direction. But if he is into crack or meth, those drugs confuse the brain because they use up the same chemical pleasure neurotransmitters that make love of someone else pleasurable. Their pull is super strong because they can be in ecstasy with the flick of a cigarette lighter. That feeling tends to replace normal-paced love and affection. Don't blame yourself in the least if that's the case. The drugs physically alter the mind and therefore he is not who he once was.
GrayClouds Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 Your lucky he made a decision, it could have been a long, painful, unhappy life.
Author Arabella Posted June 24, 2010 Author Posted June 24, 2010 He smokes weed, yes, but he's mainly addicted to oxycontin. Where he was living before, he hung around some very unsavory people and that is, I assume, how he became addicted. He sounded so eager to move away, leave them behind, and get his life back on track... That didn't happen. Now he's with his lifelong friends who apparently also do drugs. They are his two best friends. Not just people he's known for a few months. I know for a fact that their approval is very important to him. If were to quit drugs, that would become an issue with them... I really wonder what amazing feeling he must be getting from the drugs that makes him give up without question my love... is it even about that? Could the social approval of his best friends be playing a part in this also? Arabella
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