Karmone Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 I am first going to post something real vague.... Why does a man come back to his ex girlfriend for sex when he has a new girlfriend? **Shame on me; I broke NC after two months (drunk dial); well any way all i stated was the ("Right or Wrong" sometimes I still You; Hope you are well ) So I did not expect an an answer, but within a 1/2 hrs a text came back..(Wow, you must be reading my mind). So I did not respond to this at all; by the next morning he text me again to see if i wanted to go out with him. I did; now it has been three weeks and we have seen each other 5 times (he has iniated contact, not me) i do believe he has another girlfriend..so why would he come back to this situation..ideas or suggestions....its not like he cant get sex with other women cause i know he can.
EYECANDY000 Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 because hes able to get sex without no strings attached. and hes comfortable with you
ahashakeheartbreak Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 My ex does this too. He knows I still like him, and we've been close friends before we dated, so I still hang out with him and we always end up having messing around/having sex. I cannot say no once he starts kissing me (don't have it in me...). Then he'll yell at me bc it stirs up emotions for me. I guess I keep hoping it will for him too. Plus, I do not want to lose his friendship. It's a sad cycle.
Author Karmone Posted June 24, 2010 Author Posted June 24, 2010 But wouldnt you think that this woudl possibly mess up things he has with another girl..I believe he has a girlfriend and just seems to be risky to have me stay at his house 2 nights a week..I have left evidence around by mistake..jsut wondering. We have even went to the bar together 3 times..again just curious on thoughts here!
ahashakeheartbreak Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 Honestly...if you think he has another girl, why are you having sex with him? That is hurtful to her (and you). If this guy will cheat with her, then he would cheat on you. You should ask if you're not sure if he has another girl or not, try to find out before you assume. I feel bad for the other girl, if there truly is one. You just need to lay off this guy, if that's the case, ya know?
LovelyDaze Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 because hes able to get sex without no strings attached. and hes comfortable with you I will agree with this completely plus say that you have NOW become "Ms. Backup Plan." Don't take it the wrong way, but if he is presently with a current GF, that is what you have become. If things don't work out with her, he KNOWS he can just take his place back in your life with zero effort. Very condescending and very disrespectful to your integrity. I felt the same way with an ex who came back for sex until I wised up and stop answering his calls altogether. I'm sure you are hoping that memories, emotions and the like will make him want to be with you again exclusively but if he can have you now, then he is thinking- why SHOULD he make it permanent? He's got two women who are not going anywhere.
Author Karmone Posted June 24, 2010 Author Posted June 24, 2010 Well I am only guessing he has another girl..i have not confirmed this by any means. I just feel like there is mixed signals..however tonight I did something different. I asked him if he wanted to go out..he responded he was getting out of work and has been busy..so fine. I left it at that. About 2 minutes later he asked me what I was doing and tht I knew where he was if I wanted to get together. I responded that I had made other plans...but could do tomorrow night. He said tomorrow would not work....so again fine..I responded with that is ok ill make other plans....how about the weekend. He again said he had his girls...but maybe could do Saturday if they went to their friends house...and he would let me know about tomorrow.???? What game is this one?
Author Karmone Posted July 1, 2010 Author Posted July 1, 2010 This is an update to the earlier post; the one before this one. Well, the next day he did end up texting me wanting to go out; is this cat and mouse. So, we went out last Thursday night; during our night out he asked me to sit on his lap at our hang out..the bar we have always hung out at...all his golf friends were there. Again we got togehter on Sunday; however I initated this meeting with funny conversation; but in the end he begged me to try and come see him.."please, please" try to get out and see me! I did end up going out there; we hung and watched tv, and of course I spent the night. I left early Monday morning (the norm.) to go to work while he was still sleeping..we did not talk again till today. HMMMM....seems like so many mixed signals and I know I should just ask but I feel like I have a second chance here???????? Dont want to mess it up by being too pushy, needy, etc.........
YellowShark Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 FYI you aren't "Ms Right" Karmone. You are simply "Ms Right Now!" You are being used for sex. Hate to say it but that's what I read. I would walk away, bite the bullet, and go NC. You need to teach him that you are not a plaything, but a woman who deserves respect. After all, is this the kinda relationship you want? Someone who calls you up to bang you and then disappears with other women behind your back?
stillafool Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 First it depends on why you broke up and who broke up with who. But, from the information you have given it seems he is just enjoying still being able to have sex with you while keeping his girlfriend. If you let yourself play second don't be surprised if you never move out of that spot.
GrayClouds Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 He wants to keep you on the hook for easy booty, boost his ego, and just in case the new one does not work out. I think you deserve more then that, I hope you do.
Author Karmone Posted July 1, 2010 Author Posted July 1, 2010 Like I said; I am not sure he has a girlfriend..I am only guessing on that because we spent two months apart. I guess I should find out for the fariness of all involved. We broke up because he got very upset with me over an issue which was wrong on my part..when we communicated again I made a fool of myself by being just to pushy...to needy..and sent an IM that was not so nice which was agian wrong on my part. Now, well if I have a chance I want to take it and try not to make the mistakes i did before if you know what I mean. I know he understands now after we did discuss this a month ago on our first meeting. I guess....one thing that does stick to a bit; last Thursday night when we were together i left scratches on his arm (ya know) and then he commented he might have claw marks on him, but that was ok. I apologized stating I try not to leave evidence of my being with him...we have not commitment. I also suggested we use a condom and he stated "why" ...what are you doing? Also, I have made indication that I am seeing other people too..just nothing serious. I have incinudated I am not trying to get back together so maybe I should
GrayClouds Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 Like I said; I am not sure he has a girlfriend..I am only guessing on that because we spent two months apart. I guess I should find out for the fariness of all involved. We broke up because he got very upset with me over an issue which was wrong on my part..when we communicated again I made a fool of myself by being just to pushy...to needy..and sent an IM that was not so nice which was agian wrong on my part. Now, well if I have a chance I want to take it and try not to make the mistakes i did before if you know what I mean. I know he understands now after we did discuss this a month ago on our first meeting. I guess....one thing that does stick to a bit; last Thursday night when we were together i left scratches on his arm (ya know) and then he commented he might have claw marks on him, but that was ok. I apologized stating I try not to leave evidence of my being with him...we have not commitment. I also suggested we use a condom and he stated "why" ...what are you doing? Also, I have made indication that I am seeing other people too..just nothing serious. I have incinudated I am not trying to get back together so maybe I should Stop playing games. Read the follow and do what it says, it will save you a great deal of pain: So you want a second chance?
Author Karmone Posted July 1, 2010 Author Posted July 1, 2010 Ok, I read it...I have done all of that already. 1.) We spent two months apart with NC 2.) I did focus on what went wrong and understand it 3.) I did find new hobby (jst bought a kyak) 4.) Poured my energy into work, the gym, family and friends 5.) I am not acting needy or desperate..I am kind of acting the opposite. 6.) I did send a text stating I still missed him..he has done all the inital contact for the first 3 weeks; now I am replyin 7.) I know life goes on, and someone wil love me etc....... 8.) I am not holding onto hope that there is a second chance; i just feel there might be and I dont want to mess it up by being silly..needy..clingy..or too emotional too fast So, since all that is done...that is why I am here! Thanks to all of you! I guess I am reading into things too much maybe..I do that sometimes. It is in my nature to try and read between the lines... Should I ask him or is it too soon....or just let it be casual for a while longer. We do things that indicate more than a booty call..i guess is what i am saying
GrayClouds Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 . 8.) I am not holding onto hope that there is a second chance; i just feel there might be and I dont want to mess it up by being silly..needy..clingy..or too emotional too fast If this person wants a realtionship just ask yes or no, if he give you anything short of yes then its a no and walk away. .If you not holding on hope why are you wasting any time with the person So, since all that is done...that is why I am here! Thanks to all of you! I guess I am reading into things too much maybe..I do that sometimes. It is in my nature to try and read between the lines... Should I ask him or is it too soon....or just let it be casual for a while longer. That's called game playing, in a healthy mature realtionship you communicate not read between the lines and try to guess what the other person wants or feels. Most people wants to be with some who dying to be with them, not deciding. If this guy is not knocking down to be with you why do you want to be with him?
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