DustySaltus Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 ...and although I am with someone else I can't seem to bury that anger and resentment and move forward with a feeling of indifference.
teanoranges Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 I think the indifference is such b**it. I think its quite possible not to think of your ex and not really love/like them anymore... but still when a reminder does come up, you remember how much you dislike them.. I feel that that's just natural and too many of us struggle to find that 'indifference' when really.. we just need to find ourselves and quit wasting thoughts on these jerks.
sedgwick Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 ...and although I am with someone else I can't seem to bury that anger and resentment and move forward with a feeling of indifference. Although I am indifferent to most of my exes at this point, I'm not with all of them. I may not be in love with them anymore, but when I think of them they still tug at my heartstrings and it still feels like there are things that are unresolved. I can think back to my first love 16 years ago and still feel some residual anger over how he treated me. It's not RAGE, and it's not hindering my life (my last ex can do that all by himself), and I don't feel the need to hunt him down and get closure, but I'm not indifferent.
Ilovecake Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 I think the indifference is such b**it. I think its quite possible not to think of your ex and not really love/like them anymore... but still when a reminder does come up, you remember how much you dislike them.. I feel that that's just natural and too many of us struggle to find that 'indifference' when really.. we just need to find ourselves and quit wasting thoughts on these jerks. Not at all true. I have been dealing with terrible anger towards my ex for a very long time. It was the last piece of the puzzle. Because we hang out in the same circles I would unfortunately run into him a lot and would always go home seathing mad. I hated that he was talking to my friends, I hated that he was living with someone else and asked her to marry him even though he told me he never wanted to get married, I hated him for being happy, I hated him for living on the same planet as me. I went out last night and of course he was there. Normally I would start getting that feeling in the pit of my stomach but not last night. The funny thing is I went out alone while he showed up with a bunch of our "mutual friends" which should make me extremely mad, but I simply didn't care. I reached complete indifferance, I didn't feel sad, I didn't feel mad, I didn't feel happy or nervous, absolutely nothing. It was as if he was a long lost neighbor that I never talked to in the first place but recognized his face. If someone said isn't that your ex I would probably say 'oh yeah it is. I can't believe I ever went out with him, he's not even cute'. It really was pure indifference.
Perhaps Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 ...and although I am with someone else I can't seem to bury that anger and resentment and move forward with a feeling of indifference. in my humble opinion, indifference comes by itself over time. though i understand it's hard to know that it's been a long time and still no end in sight, you gotta let it be - don't seek indifference. it'll come when it comes. you're with someone new. enjoy it! It took me a year and a half to get over someone i met online (LOL) for 3 months. eventually, it turned from me hating her to me hating myself. but now, i look back and yeah, she was an influence in my life and yeah she was good looking but i can accept it. though, i do question how my life would be had i not met her - i blame it as the source of the chain of events that has led me to where i am today. enough about me. as i said, just enjoy your life and forgive her and yourself and just accept it, my man. life's too short to hold grudges.
soheartbroken Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 Everyone is different. Not everyone will become indifferent, even with time. Some will have exes that still tug at the heartstrings.
Author DustySaltus Posted June 24, 2010 Author Posted June 24, 2010 Thanks for the responses. My anger just continues to fester from the following: I was supposed to be married by now. I was my friend's best man during his wedding last week (they got engaged on the day I was supposed to get married), so it just brought of memories of her that had been gone for a while. Yes, I should thank the heavens above that we didn't get married but it's that moment when you realize that they really aren't the person that you thought they were that STINGS more than anything. She did try and get me fired from my job after I came back to it. Sure, at first I was nervous but it turned into a promotion because my boss knows the type of person I am and didn't believe her nonsense for one second. But the VINDICTIVENESS that she exhibited stills stokes this anger inside of me until this day. ...Add to that the fact that she kept the engagement ring and thought that I wasn't serious about her after I moved to her country to be with her....it just still exists. Yes, I am happy in my current situation but the hurt is still there. I get up everyday, don't really dwell on the negative but from time to time it just pops up and everytime it does, I get pissed off. I only want to get married once (obviously most people think that way). I don't want to be the 45 year old guy back in the club on a saturday night that everyone gawks at...I can't allow that to happen. My anger is not from the loss of the relationship anymore. It's from the broken promises, vindictiveness and emptyness of her words. I got burned and it still hurts. I've treated my new girl like a queen since day one. We have a very good relationship and I am happy within it. But people change and the honeymoon period doesn't last forever....it's when that's over that the true "relationship" really begins.
Recommended Posts