tigressA Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 A guy I dated recently was talking to me last night; he was pretty freaked out by something that had happened. He'd told me awhile back about another girl he'd met on the same site we met on, a year ago--they had never met but just talked a lot; they were friends, but she'd indicated that she liked him. She'd disappeared with no word over a month ago, and last night my friend had decided to Google her. He was shocked by what he found--forum posts under a username that was the same as her instant-message screenname, making clear that 'she' was in fact a 'he'--a bisexual male with apparently very feminine features. My friend was really disgusted at the fact that this person posted a profile on a dating site proclaiming himself to be female, and kept the lie going with him for a year. What if they had actually met? What if something had happened between the two of them and he was forced to admit his deception? "Oh, it's okay that you actually have a penis?" Ugh, I just can't believe some people! How can people do this and expect everything to turn out all right?!
threebyfate Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Wouldn't his voice have given him away or did they never speak? Even the ones who get hormone treatment have voice issues.
Author tigressA Posted June 23, 2010 Author Posted June 23, 2010 No, they never talked on the phone. From what my friend told me, he was living in a tiny, nothing town and couldn't really get out. He told my friend he'd bought a laptop with money he'd saved up and had to hide it from his mom. Though all that could've been a lie too, now.
Feelin Frisky Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Ah, the old electronic "Crying Game" bit. I've never had a strong on-line relationship except once with someone who posted her real face as her avatar and pictures of herself working on her art. We spoke over the phone and it was a wonderful time while it lasted. What I don't get are guys who post pictures of girls they like or something feminine-looking that their girl friend made for them as their avatar. Then you say something like nice hair or something off the cuff and you get some dude questioning my sexual orientation because "he's" a guy. That's so azzholish. The avatar function is for self introduction and nothing else really. If one wants to stick some propaganda up there or some image other than themselves, the courteous thing to do is not confuse strangers about the gender behind the icon.
Green Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Seriously I wouldn't be suprised if this wasn't happening right now on LS
Engadget Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 I think only men pose as the opposite sex, although I'm sure a few women have done it it's not common. It's disgusting to me. If you're gay or bi, fine...just don't lie and pretend to be a woman. Yet another reason I'll never date online.
JamesM Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Anyone can be anyone on the internet. I also had an experience over five years ago with a woman (no, not THAT kind of experience ) I met online at another message board. She said she was not married and had never had children. She also sent pictures. We talked alot on the phone. Most of what she said was true except....I think she was married, and I KNOW she had a son. Her pictures were also not current. I learned a lesson of trust. While I trusted her, she was pretending to be someone so she could play out somebody other than who she really was. I was honest and said I was married. After some detective work, I discovered she was not so honest. Like your friend, I learned that some people do not have a life and need to create one. As for being a guy and pretending to be a woman, I can say that men who are not guided by their brain can easily believe what they are led to believe...as perhaps I was led. I signed up on a cheating website a few years ago because a friend's husband allegedly was signed up there. So in order to see what it was, I made a sign on name. When I was listed as a male (the name was a generic name), I did not receive a single email/PM. When I changed my sex to female, I kid you not. I received ten or more emails within a half hour. And so at the urging of the friend, I emailed a couple of them back. The ones I emailed responded and a couple sent me pictures. Needless to say, I never responded back and left that website. People lie for various reasons, but everyone needs to remember that just because WE think honestly, we cannot expect honesty in return. Hopefully, your friend learned a valuable lesson.
Author tigressA Posted June 23, 2010 Author Posted June 23, 2010 All of this is creeping me out. *shudders* It really creeps me out too. I shuddered while my friend was telling me about all this. I can't even imagine how he must've felt discovering all that, how he may still be feeling. According to him it's not the first time that guys have made overtures toward him--he said he's gotten messages on the site from gay/bi guys before, but only saying things like "Why can't you be gay?!" or whatever. That's harmless compared to this because in this case, the guy pretended to be something he certainly is not. I remember seeing his profile; my friend had shown it to me. I remember saying "She's really pretty; you should try and meet up with her." Ugh.
JamesM Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 All of this is creeping me out. *shudders* It should. And as a parent, it should worry you...as it does me.
threebyfate Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 I remember saying "She's really pretty; you should try and meet up with her." Ugh. Imagine the meet up. It should. And as a parent, it should worry you...as it does me.Thank goodness this isn't a concern for a good few years to come.
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