rough_diamonds Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 So I've been seeing this guy for about 4 months. We were friends before hand and decided we wanted to be more. Basically he wants to take it slow so we're not even official atm. We hang out once or twice a week so it's nothing very serious. We are sleeping together. But i kinda feel like it's not going anywhere. The other night i met this guy clubbing and we picked up. He's really sweet and bought me a juice into work and seems really interested in me. We did a coffee date. He came over to my house the other day and we made out and he just went overseas for a month but wants to hang out when he gets back. I'm not sure what to do..obviously both guys don't know about each other. Guy #2 seems exciting and fun and really interested but but guy#1 seems to be taking me for granted and it seems to be somewhat stagnant but we have such history together. Not sure how to play this out.
Maggotface Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Well, I think if you reread your post you'll know the answer. It's okay to date more than one person as long as you're not official with any of them but it would be nice to at least let them know that you are dating other people. They might not be okay with that especially if sex is involved. Guy #1 sounds more like just a friend, you really don't act interested. You guys were just good friends who decided you might want to be more and there was no connection. Just end it quick and easy so you guys can maintain your friendship.
Sivok Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Guy #1 sounds more like just a friend, you really don't act interested. You guys were just good friends who decided you might want to be more and there was no connection. Just end it quick and easy so you guys can maintain your friendship.Well said, there's no real intimate connection between you two. If you want to pursue this other guy, break it off with #1 first imo. Usually if I'm sleeping with someone I consider myself exclusive, if you want things to work with #1, I'd recommend bringing this up for discussion. 4 months is a very long time to go non exclusive imo - usually two max if you see each other constantly.. Not to mention you're already consistently having sex
Author rough_diamonds Posted June 23, 2010 Author Posted June 23, 2010 (edited) What do you define at "intimate connection". Before guy #2 came along, I was COMPLETELY smitten (and possibly a little obsessed) with guy#1. Kissing guy #1 comes with a lot more passion. Guy #2 has sorta been a distraction. But yes, I would say it has been hard trying to transition from friends to lovers. Edited June 23, 2010 by rough_diamonds
O'Malley Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Guy #1 isn't wanting anything more than friends with benefits. He knows how you feel, but after four months, there would be much more developing if he wanted it to. It's a dead end so it's up to you to walk away before you get involved with someone else legitimately. Since you're not involved there's no need for you to explain yourself or mention anyone else. Guy #2 is providing you with the attention you really want from guy #1. Unfortunately you can't put them in a blender. If you want to date Guy #2 or someone else, take some time to get to know him before getting intimate. And go on more actual dates, not hanging out as his house.
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