somedude81 Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 To pay or not to pay, that is the question. If the guy pays, then in my mind I think he considers the date successful, if he splits the check with me I think he's not feeling anything or considers me a friend. I've been bonkers for girls and I still let them pay for themselves. Although looking back I realized that we were just two friends getting lunch or dinner together, not on a date. Frankly the real issue is where the dates happen. I'm not going to go to a fancy dinner place for a first date where the the total meal cost is over $25. There is just no need. If we're a couple then we can do fancy dinners and she is definitely chipping in.
Mimolicious Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 It's not "get with the times"- The "new times" manual suggests that you leave your manners in 1900's?? It's not very manly-like to ask a ladie to "chip in" to pay the bill, especially on the first date. IMO- rather than feeling uncomfortable, I think he felt pretty comfortable with your presence. You ask your HOMEGIRL to chip-in, not a woman that you are trying to court. Chilvary IS dead! But let me guess... Women and their feminist movement killed it. I am far from gold-digging and can gladly paid the bill for 20 heads at any given time but I don't admire mediocrity. The capability of paying for a bill is not going to impress me but your manhood is.
VertexSquared Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 It's not "get with the times"- The "new times" manual suggests that you leave your manners in 1900's?? It's not very manly-like to ask a ladie to "chip in" to pay the bill, especially on the first date. IMO- rather than feeling uncomfortable, I think he felt pretty comfortable with your presence. You ask your HOMEGIRL to chip-in, not a woman that you are trying to court. Chilvary IS dead! But let me guess... Women and their feminist movement killed it. I am far from gold-digging and can gladly paid the bill for 20 heads at any given time but I don't admire mediocrity. The capability of paying for a bill is not going to impress me but your manhood is. While I do pay for meals and all, I think your last statement may carry some degree of contradiction. I don't think any guy is going to care if he's paying for, say, a $10-$20 meal. But capability for paying a bill is where the "manhood" is tested. Otherwise it wouldn't be a problem.
donnamaybe Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 The capability of paying for a bill is not going to impress me but your manhood is. I think that's what many of us are trying to get across, but "manhood" can't be measured by a guy's choice to pay or not. I've met lots of rich guys who think nothing of dropping lots of cash, but many cannot measure up to my version of what a man should be.
Woggle Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Feminism did have quite a bit to do with killing chivalry. This is the world women said they wanted and now when they have it they are not happy.
Engadget Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Women want exact equality as they should, however many want to be treated like a princess who is swept off her feet, paid for, pursued, etc. Women want guys to still make the first move, approach them first, ask for their number, call them, etc. This **** has got to go, it's obnoxious. You want equality? ACT EQUAL!
torranceshipman Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Feminism did have quite a bit to do with killing chivalry. This is the world women said they wanted and now when they have it they are not happy. It only killed it amongst the men who don't read enough to understand what 'feminism' actually means.
torranceshipman Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Women want guys to still make the first move, approach them first, ask for their number, call them, etc. This **** has got to go, it's obnoxious. You want equality? ACT EQUAL! Wow - patronizing. Firstly, not all women are exactly the same - we all want different things. Secondly, you are talking about old fashioned traditions, which some men and some women still like (and some don't). Equality is something different. It means being treated equally with respect to human rights, being paid equally for doing the same job, etc. Old fashioned views of dating and equality are separate concepts.
Woggle Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Quite honestly what a lot of it means is that some women want to keep the traditions that worked in their favor and get rid of the ones that didn't. They want everything tilted in their favor and who cares what the man wants or needs.
donnamaybe Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Quite honestly what a lot of it means is that some women want to keep the traditions that worked in their favor and get rid of the ones that didn't. They want everything tilted in their favor and who cares what the man wants or needs. That's how it seems to appear for some.
Engadget Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 That's how it seems to appear for some. Yeah, just look at this thread. Girl I'm in a FWB situation with now called me first, asked me on a date AND made the first move. More women need to do this.
aerogurl87 Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Women acting entitled like they have no rights or money when they do? I don't ask guys out on dates, so yeah if he asks me out he better cough up the cash to pay the way. If he didn't want to do something too expensive he could've just suggested coffee and if things continued to go well, then maybe dinner afterward. But he didn't do that, and I don't care who you are, man or woman, if you ask to split the cheque on a date and put the other person on the spot then and there that is just plain TACKY.
donnamaybe Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Tonight I went out with a guy I met online...it was our first meeting. I'm 28, he's 27...both have good jobs. We had dinner and drinks and the date went really well. It doesn't say anything about who asked who. My take on the online thing is, if you're BOTH registered with a dating site, you are BOTH looking. Hence, it's a mutual "asking out."
Els Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Quite honestly what a lot of it means is that some women want to keep the traditions that worked in their favor and get rid of the ones that didn't. They want everything tilted in their favor and who cares what the man wants or needs. Works both ways. Plenty of men who grumble about 'women not being women/feminine/demure etc anymore', then go on about how unfair 'traditional dating roles' are to men. You want women to be different, treat them as different. You don't mind women being the same as you, treat them accordingly. I quite frankly never understood why some women spent hundreds on Brazilian waxes, hairstyling, and sexy lingerie... for a man who evidently doesn't wax, gets a 20$ barber cut, buys undies in 20$ save-packs AND insists on splitting every bill by half.
donnamaybe Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Works both ways. Plenty of men who grumble about 'women not being women/feminine/demure etc anymore', then go on about how unfair 'traditional dating roles' are to men. You want women to be different, treat them as different. You don't mind women being the same as you, treat them accordingly. I quite frankly never understood why some women spent hundreds on Brazilian waxes, hairstyling, and sexy lingerie... for a man who evidently doesn't wax, gets a 20$ barber cut, buys undies in 20$ save-packs AND insists on splitting every bill by half. I don't understand why women do that either. I mean, what the hell? Do these gals look like some kind of hirsute neanderthal unless they spend half a paycheck? Would a guy even WANT to date a woman who didn't look presentable unless she spent boatloads of cash to become so? As for the undies in 20 packs, that made me LMAO! I just watched a Kevin James standup where... Well, I'll let you see for yourself. hee hee Click for TMI
Crazy Magnet Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 There are men out there like my boyfriend who insist on paying, no matter what. I've often stuck my debit card down on the bill and we end up tussling over it and he ends up paying. I try to make up for this in other ways though. I'll be the one to buy the movie tickets online or tickets to other events (pretty much always so he doesn't have a chance to try to pay) or I'll go get groceries and stock up on his favorites and then take them to his house as a surprise. I try to buy him things that he needs....like undies and socks or whatever. I told him once his house is finished I don't mind cooking 5 nights a week and getting all the groceries. I think things will really even out then.
SteveC80 Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 women are self absored narisistic creatures u can either complain and have no sucess or play the game make em think they are these amazing beings for having breasts and a vagina and swim in poon your choice
SarahRose Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Yeah, just look at this thread. Girl I'm in a FWB situation with now called me first, asked me on a date AND made the first move. More women need to do this. Of course they should do it the man's way and waste their time in pointless fwb situations. You talk about equality but judge a girl who sleeps with you too soon etc. What this girl did is exactly why they shouldn't do it if they are looking for anything serious. If this girl played princess and had higher expectations from herself and you and stayed out of the bed with you for awhile, then I bet you would be looking at her with more respect rather than someone to bang for awhile.
SarahRose Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 It doesn't say anything about who asked who. My take on the online thing is, if you're BOTH registered with a dating site, you are BOTH looking. Hence, it's a mutual "asking out." So how has this been working for you? Are you happily married now?
Engadget Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Of course they should do it the man's way and waste their time in pointless fwb situations. You talk about equality but judge a girl who sleeps with you too soon etc. What this girl did is exactly why they shouldn't do it if they are looking for anything serious. If this girl played princess and had higher expectations from herself and you and stayed out of the bed with you for awhile, then I bet you would be looking at her with more respect rather than someone to bang for awhile. So a girl shouldn't make the first moves if she wants something serious? Whaaaat?
donnamaybe Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 So how has this been working for you? Are you happily married now? Very happy with my man for 5 years. He's very good to me, and I'm very good to him, but neither of us has entitlement issues. And we did NOT meet on an online dating site. And how about you? Happily married or in a LTR? 1
donnamaybe Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 So a girl shouldn't make the first moves if she wants something serious? Whaaaat? Did I miss where you were ripping on a gal for sleeping with you too soon? For shame!
mortensorchid Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 He should have paid. He should not have asked if you wanted to contribute anything. He had nothing to loose and everything to gain by having dinner with you, and he screwed it up. Remember, this is a sign of things to come. He might be cheap, he might be self centered, he might be inconsiderate towards your feelings. Don't find out the hard way exactly what it is.
SarahRose Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Very happy with my man for 5 years. He's very good to me, and I'm very good to him, but neither of us has entitlement issues. And we did NOT meet on an online dating site. And how about you? Happily married or in a LTR? Are you planning to get married? Yes I am married.
Engadget Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Did I miss where you were ripping on a gal for sleeping with you too soon? For shame! All I'm saying is I respect a woman who doesn't want to pounce on me day one, and I'll respect her more if she waits a little while. Shows there's something more there than just sex.
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