First date - he didn't pay

[blueberries]

i think he should've paid for the date... i've never been on a date where the guy didn't pay or offer to pay...we'd usually fight over the bill because i'd want to pay.

 

if i was really interested in a guy i would let him pay, just to see if he's cheap or generous etc.. but if i'm not interested in a guy romantically, i would probably pay for my half, because i don't want to take advantage of anyone.

[Hi.P.O'Crit]

First dates off the net rarely become second dates. Chemistry online rarely translates to chemistry IRL. So why should the full financial responsibility be placed on the guy?

 

OP, did you enjoy the date? Was there any chemistry? Those should be your indicators for a second date.

[Feelin Frisky]

The dude is a weasel.

[aerogurl87]

If he wanted to be cheap he should've offered to go get coffee or something. But asking if you want to split the cheque is just plain TACKY. I wouldn't go out with him again if it were me, because I think if he asks you out he should pay for it.

[Shakz]

It's exactly this situation that I try to avoid on all my dates, by resolving the issue beforehand, while you're waiting for dinner. That way, there's no awkwardness at the pick-up window.

[Ruby Slippers]

I love reading the men's responses to these threads. It tells you so much about them.

 

The dude is a weasel.

When I saw your icon, I was hoping you would land on the old-school gents' side. And somehow, I knew you would.

[Ruby Slippers]

It's exactly this situation that I try to avoid on all my dates, by resolving the issue beforehand, while you're waiting for dinner. That way, there's no awkwardness at the pick-up window.

Good one.

[Engadget]

Last time I went on a date I tried to pay and the girl forced money on me, would have been awkward to keep refusing after the third time so I took it.

 

I usually always pay, BUT hate the idea that the man has to. Sorry ladies, you work too, you can pay as well.

 

Old fashioned customs for a different time don't make sense anymore, like having the lady walk on the outside of the sidewalk because people used to throw trash out their windows in the olden days. It's out of date just like that.

[Shakz]

Last time I went on a date I tried to pay and the girl forced money on me, would have been awkward to keep refusing after the third time so I took it.

 

I usually always pay, BUT hate the idea that the man has to. Sorry ladies, you work too, you can pay as well.

 

Old fashioned customs for a different time don't make sense anymore, like having the lady walk on the outside of the sidewalk because people used to throw trash out their windows in the olden days. It's out of date just like that.

 

That's so funny because I was taught that the man had to walk on the outside so the woman wouldn't get splashed by all the high-speed buggy traffic. What now, a piggy-back ride?

[Engadget]

That's so funny because I was taught that the man had to walk on the outside so the woman wouldn't get splashed by all the high-speed buggy traffic. What now, a piggy-back ride?

 

Actually I forget if the trash hit the outside of the sidewalk or the inside, whatever. Either way that's how it began long before cars when trash lined the streets. Yuck.

 

Women today want to work, make tons of money and act like things are back a hundred years ago when they didn't work or have any money.

 

Anyone see how stupid that is?

[Ruby Slippers]

What now, a piggy-back ride?

Yes, please. Wheeeeee!

[aerogurl87]

Actually I forget if the trash hit the outside of the sidewalk or the inside, whatever. Either way that's how it began long before cars when trash lined the streets. Yuck.

 

Women today want to work, make tons of money and act like things are back a hundred years ago when they didn't work or have any money.

 

Anyone see how stupid that is?

 

Nope, I see nothing wrong with it. I think it's sweet.

[Woggle]

I don't usually have a problem with paying but it does sound very hypocritical when some women demand that men do all the gestures of how things used to be in on breath and then in the next shout about how independent they are. Some women want it both ways.

[Confusedalways]

Regardless of the fact that you guys split the bill, it's weird that he asked you if you wanted to chip in....?

 

I genuinely don't mind paying, but if someone were to ask me I'd definitely find that a little off putting. I feel like there's a much more eloquent way to phrase that if that's really the path he wants to go down.

 

That's weird. If he hated paying so much he should have suggested something free.

[SarahRose]

Tonight I went out with a guy I met online...it was our first meeting. I'm 28, he's 27...both have good jobs. We had dinner and drinks and the date went really well. When the bill came he grabbed it and we kept talking for a few minutes. And then asked me how I wanted to deal with the bill. He basically asked if I wanted to chip in or if he should cover it. It was a little awkward so I said I would chip in. So we both paid for ourselves.

 

So my question is...besides the awkwardness of it, is this something I should be concerned about? I've heard so many times that the guy should pay on the first date. What do you all think about this? He seemed like a really nice guy and was definitely nervous, so I don't know if that played into it. But I know he wants to see me again and is already making plans. Thoughts?

 

 

Yuck yuck and yuck.

 

You should never have to pay for any first dates.

 

Yes the old rules still apply. You teach people how to treat you. You are the jewel and should act like that. The next time that happens, put on your diva face and laugh lightly as if he were joking and you were enjoying the joke with him and say nothing else.

 

I hope you don't go out with him again as soon you'll be paying his way.

[Shakz]

Yes, please. Wheeeeee!

 

Dating must've been tough for those old-timers, what with coming home covered in horse poop and old banana peels! No wonder we invented television.

[PJKino]

Yuck yuck and yuck.

 

You should never have to pay for any first dates.

 

Yes the old rules still apply. You teach people how to treat you. You are the jewel and should act like that.

 

So whats the guy?

 

Gotta love the princess entitlement

[SarahRose]

So whats the guy?

 

Gotta love the princess entitlement

 

It works.

 

Men do want a princess to show off and be proud of. They don't want a doormat girl they don't respect.

 

Of course a guy will take a doormat girl to bang for a few weeks, months or whatever.

[Star Gazer]

I am a firm believer that the guy should pay on the first date.

 

I'm kinda giggling that he actually asked you how you wanted to handle the bill/whether you wanted to contribute. I bet it was a little "test" he was employing.

 

Like, I had one guy years ago who tested me by opening the car door for me, and waiting to see if once I was inside, whether I would reach over and unlock his door for him. Apparently this "test" is from some movie. He literally went almost ape sh*t when I didn't unlock his door (but of course he didn't bring it up until our NEXT date). Why didn't I? (1) He has automatic locks, and they were ALL unlocked at a press of the button on his keys, so why would I "pretend unlock" his door??, and (2) it was a large SUV, which would have required me to almost crawl over the seat to do this.

[Shakz]

It works.

 

Men do want a princess to show off and be proud of. They don't want a doormat girl they don't respect.

 

Of course a guy will take a doormat girl to bang for a few weeks, months or whatever.

 

"......And when I get excited...........my little doormat girl says............ooh baby, just you wipe your feet."

[Woggle]

Actually the majority of men can't stand the princess mentality. This is 2010 where women can take of themselves.

[Ruby Slippers]

It works.

 

Men do want a princess to show off and be proud of. They don't want a doormat girl they don't respect.

 

Of course a guy will take a doormat girl to bang for a few weeks, months or whatever.

Yep.

 

When I was younger, I insisted upon equality: splitting the bill or taking turns paying.

 

But once I met a man who treated me like a queen every day and loved to do it, I woke up.

[reservoirdog1]

First dates off the net rarely become second dates. Chemistry online rarely translates to chemistry IRL.

Not true, in my experience. Or at least, no more true than dates that originate from somewhere other than online. I've gotten into a number of multi-date situations (including a 2-year relationship) from online dating. I find that the chance of chemistry when you finally meet the person is greater if it's originated online, because by that point you've already talked and established some commonality with them. As long as you've seen photos, there's at least a reasonable chance of chemistry. I've actually been pleasantly surprised several times.

[TheBigQuestion]

It works.

 

Men do want a princess to show off and be proud of. They don't want a doormat girl they don't respect.

 

Of course a guy will take a doormat girl to bang for a few weeks, months or whatever.

 

Of course it works. It works towards your advantage, not anyone else's.

[Woggle]

Yep.

 

When I was younger, I insisted upon equality: splitting the bill or taking turns paying.

 

But once I met a man who treated me like a queen every day and loved to do it, I woke up.

 

If a man is willing to treat you like a queen are you willing to treat him like a king? If the answer is yes then I can support this but for too many women the answer would be no.