should i give him another chance?

[amandabbb]

i am on here b/c i am at my emotional wit's end with this marriage.i have wanted it to work so much for so long but i am the only one trying to make it.i know in my head that this should be it but my heart always pulls me back in.i don't know what to do.

i guess i should start from the top-so here it goes. i have been married to my husband for going on 6yrs now, the last 1/2 of it unhappily.i got married very young shortly after having my 1st daughter at 17.we now have another daughter and one more on the way.this has never been the marriage that i always thought i would have but i settled for it at the time and it has been getting progressively worse over the last year or so and very much worse since he's been on unemployment the last 8 months.our marriage was already hanging on by a thread and this just made it worse financially too.

i knew he was not telling me the truth about everything. he is a compulsive liar.you can't believe a word that comes out of his mouth. he not only lies to cover his own *ss , he lies just for the fun of it too.he lies to me and everyone else. i knew he was doing things behind my back but when i confronted him about it, i had no proof so i let it go.he would always talk his way out of it.he is very good at being manipulative.

this morning in our last fight i cornered him and he finally confessed to all the things i knew in my heart he was doing anyway- lying about where he was all day and what he was doing(he was supposed to be out making extra money to pay for legal troubles he's gotten himself into)instead he was out helping his druggy buddy doing things that could wind him up in more trouble.he admitted to doing drugs again (but he says only a couple times-as if that's supposed to make it better)with this buddy he's not suppose to be with anyway. he's been stealing money out of my wallet several times and trying to blame it on someone else, among other things.i made him leave. i am already emotionally drained to begin with , not to mention the added pregnancy hormones right now.i am under so much stress trying to figure out how am i going to financially support soon to be 3 children when i have no job or dependable vehicle, plus the whole concept of raising 3 on my own.i just cannot deal with anything else right now , especially all his bullsh*t. i love him so much but i have been trying to make it work for so long and it's just not working.up until this point i have been begging him to straighten up and just start doing right but he wouldn't do the effort of anything to make it better. now all of a sudden he's begging me to let him come home and be with his family swearing he'll do right and will never let any of it happen again. but i've heard this all before with him.the only difference being this time he's actually admitted to it all.i don't know what to do.i'm completely devastated. it is all i can do just to function enough to take care of my kids right now. i am broken and i just want to crawl into a hole and disappear right now.i want to believe him so bad that he's actually gonna do better, but his history tells me he'll go back to his old ways. i need someone else's point of view.

[Change2]

If you want to give him another chance why not let him prove it, just don't let him come back until he shows change for a long while. A druggy isn't someone i would want around my kids so a big change would be needed for me and it would have to be at least 6 months of proven change and keeping a job before i ever took him back. I wish you the best and try to stay strong, keep your head up. Those kids need their mommy!! Concentrate on them. His negative crap isn't good for you especially being pg. I did yoga when i was pg and it relaxed me. Find something for you that relaxes you. Keep your mind clear so your body can concentrate on creating that beautiful baby of yours! lots of prayers!

[bayouboi]

It could be worse, you could have married someone who is stable and loved you but then you'd be bored all the time!

 

lol

[bee55]

you should ask your self first do you still love him??

if yes then try this:

change your style and invite him to a dinner in a quiet place and ask

him if he like to start new page if he agree give him 2 month for test

purpose if he not succeeded i think you should looking for a man who

will give you more love.

else:

immediately leave him and start your new life

[Woman In Blue]

i have been married to my husband for going on 6yrs now, the last 1/2 of it unhappily.i got married very young shortly after having my 1st daughter at 17.we now have another daughter and one more on the way.

Forgive for me being obtuse, but why do you keep having kids with this guy if you're in such a crappy marriage? I don't get it. I just don't get it.

 

The guy sounds like such a total loser - hanging out with "druggie" friends, he's no doubt under-employed since you don't even have ONE decent car, he's gotten himself into "legal" trouble (no doubt drug related) which translates to being irresponsible PLUS it adds even more expense to an already strained budget, he wouldn't know the truth if you shoved it down his throat with a jackhammer, he's basically a lifelong druggie who still indulges, he steals money out of his OWN wife's wallet for Christ sakes, and he has ZERO character or integrity. Zero.

 

This is the type of jerk I wouldn't ven give a ride to if I found him hitchhiking out on the freeway - he's a loser.

 

You've certainly limited your choices horribly by being pregnant yet again, which makes you somewhat dependant on him and you'll probably weaken and take this loser back - purely out of desperation. I hate to see you do it, but I've seen this same old story replayed over and over and over.

 

And if you do take him back, for the love of God, quit having kids with him. You'll need to escape in the future, and you don't want to be doing it with 5 or 6 kids.

[SoConfusledandHurt]

Woman in Blue can read the future very well, youd be wise to listen and then change it! Good luck...your going to need it!!!