Kamille Posted June 25, 2010 Posted June 25, 2010 I don't think this deal will work for this kid. It's not PB's job to make deals with someone elses kid....the parents have to teach there kid themselves. I believe the person interacting with the kid is the one responsible for the interaction. I have a hard time imagining a parent monitoring how their child plays with their uncle without seeming over-bearing. It takes a village to raise a child. And usually, parents respond well to the approach I mentioned, they'll pick up on the cue and take responsibility for the child. In this case, it sounds like the parents aren't even aware that Uncle and auntie are not absolutely thrilled to spend every second they can with their daughter.
xxoo Posted June 25, 2010 Posted June 25, 2010 And as a previous poster mentioned, keeping her busy is a job on its own and keeps us from interacting with others. Well, if that is the case, imagine how much the parents appreciate this short break to interact with others. I think the most important question is: has your bf ever communicated anything to the parents to indicate there is a problem. And, if not, how could they know?
xxoo Posted June 25, 2010 Posted June 25, 2010 I have a hard time imagining a parent monitoring how their child plays with their uncle without seeming over-bearing. Bears repeating! This is family. Children need to build relationships with family without parents hovering and micromanaging. Please speak up if there is a problem, but it is unfair to expect the parents to be supervising their child while you are actively playing with her.
Diezel Posted June 26, 2010 Posted June 26, 2010 Yeah, she's kid. That's what this thread is about. I stand corrected, actually. The thread is about two kids.
pandagirl Posted June 26, 2010 Posted June 26, 2010 PB, I see how this is annoying, but this little girl has NO IDEA she is bothering anyone. If she is getting her way with her uncle and he is responding positively to her actions, of course she is going to continue her "antics." Seeing how she is only six, you're not going to talk to her like an adult, but you need to tell her parents that you don't want to be baby-sitting her all the time. Other than that, she's probably just going through a phase. I'm the aunt to 3-year-old twins, and they are definitely a handful! But one this is for sure, if a kid knows they can get away with something, they're going to keep on doing it until you finally say "no." There will be tears and fits and tantrums, but that's just the way it is.
whichwayisup Posted June 26, 2010 Posted June 26, 2010 Please don't tell me you feel threatened by a 6 year old. If so, you and your boyfriend might have deeper issues than just a kid. Anytime a kid does anything, take it with a grain of salt. You should be more worried about 26 year old women. Get over it. You're in a family setting and not spending one on one time with him. It would be different if she were having a sleepover or if you two were looking after her for a week, but this is a family function where she is excited to see her favourite uncle. Relax. She's 6! Don't feel intimiated, jealous or irritated by her. Look how good he is with her, it'll show what kind of father he will be later in life. Little kids get attached easily and he's family, so even more so. Don't try to ruin it or get in the way, it'll backfire on you. His niece ADORES HIM and they share a special bond.
Adunaphel Posted June 26, 2010 Posted June 26, 2010 Your really under the magnifying glass here PB don't let it get to you! PB, I just wanted to let you know that like Holding On, Bike Ride and SpanksTheMonkey I am supportive of you (and I believe that just "getting over it" would be unfair to you). I like the advice you received about either letting the kid kjnow that you'd like to spend some time with the other adults or socializing with other family members while your bf is busy with his niece. Has your bf also tried to involve other family members in playing with the niece?
Author prettybaby Posted June 26, 2010 Author Posted June 26, 2010 ^^ Thanks. There's a family dinner coming up in a few hours. I'll just take it as it comes, and we'll see. I got her some play cards that she wanted me to bring ... which will probably lead to me and my boyfriend being stuck playing with her again. He doesn't mind playing with her, but he'd like a break once in a while. And I have to admit that once we're there in that situation, it really is hard to break out of it. I guess you'd have to be there to understand. Anyway, I have to get ready. We'll see how it goes!
Author prettybaby Posted June 27, 2010 Author Posted June 27, 2010 Well, it was an interesting twist last night. My boyfriend actually put his foot down. Although I don't think the parents really get it (not sure they ever will). But at least I know my boyfriend isn't planning on letting it get out of hand, so it gives me a little peace of mind in that sense. The little girl was tired yesterday, which made her act even worse than usual. She cried whenever she wouldn't get her way, and had the worst "look at me" attitude she's ever had. She tried to take her clothes off several times and insisted for my boyfriend to take pictures of her nipples (no idea where she gets it from!). We were both like wtf At some point she took her panties off and lifted her dress. I told her to put her clothes back on. The mother didn't care. And when the little girl said she shows her bits at school all the time, and kids pay her 1 euro every time she does, her brother was like "EW You're so GROSS!". The mother looked at him and was like "what's going on?". So the little boy repeated what his little sister had just said. I was expecting her to finally say something, but she just turned her head and kept talking to someone else. I couldn't believe it. Then my boyfriend left his seat to get a drink. The little girl sneaked up to me and sat on my boyfriend's chair. She said she had decided she was gonna sit next to me for the rest of the evening and that my boyfriend would have to take her seat instead. I told her he wouldn't be happy about that, and that she would have to get back to her seat as soon as he comes back. .... So my boyfriend came back, and she refused to move. The parents showed zero reaction, so he ended up just grabbing her and handed her to her dad lol She started screaming, so her dad finally told her to stop it and to behave for once. Her antics continued the whole evening. When she left, she tried to kiss my boyfriend on the lips 3 times, which he didn't let her do. It was awkward and the parents acted like they didn't see anything. I didn't really get stressed last night though, because I had to take some antihistamines due to my allergies. So I have to admit I was pretty immune to the chaos around. My boyfriend, on the other hand, had been up since 5am, so his energy and patience were down to zero. He made it clear to his brother that they need to keep their kids under control, especially their daughter. Like I said, I don't think the parents really give a crap. But at least I know my boyfriend won't put up with it endlessly, which he told me flat out after we'd arrived back home. So, all in all, it was a chaotic but good night. I didn't get stressed (thanks to my allergy pills), and my boyfriend has started putting some limits, which he's planned on reinforcing next time. I was happy to find out that I wasn't the only one who was slowly getting fed up with it.
Green Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 Well, it was an interesting twist last night. My boyfriend actually put his foot down. Although I don't think the parents really get it (not sure they ever will). But at least I know my boyfriend isn't planning on letting it get out of hand, so it gives me a little peace of mind in that sense. The little girl was tired yesterday, which made her act even worse than usual. She cried whenever she wouldn't get her way, and had the worst "look at me" attitude she's ever had. She tried to take her clothes off several times and insisted for my boyfriend to take pictures of her nipples (no idea where she gets it from!). We were both like wtf At some point she took her panties off and lifted her dress. I told her to put her clothes back on. The mother didn't care. And when the little girl said she shows her bits at school all the time, and kids pay her 1 euro every time she does, her brother was like "EW You're so GROSS!". The mother looked at him and was like "what's going on?". So the little boy repeated what his little sister had just said. I was expecting her to finally say something, but she just turned her head and kept talking to someone else. I couldn't believe it. Then my boyfriend left his seat to get a drink. The little girl sneaked up to me and sat on my boyfriend's chair. She said she had decided she was gonna sit next to me for the rest of the evening and that my boyfriend would have to take her seat instead. I told her he wouldn't be happy about that, and that she would have to get back to her seat as soon as he comes back. .... So my boyfriend came back, and she refused to move. The parents showed zero reaction, so he ended up just grabbing her and handed her to her dad lol She started screaming, so her dad finally told her to stop it and to behave for once. Her antics continued the whole evening. When she left, she tried to kiss my boyfriend on the lips 3 times, which he didn't let her do. It was awkward and the parents acted like they didn't see anything. I didn't really get stressed last night though, because I had to take some antihistamines due to my allergies. So I have to admit I was pretty immune to the chaos around. My boyfriend, on the other hand, had been up since 5am, so his energy and patience were down to zero. He made it clear to his brother that they need to keep their kids under control, especially their daughter. Like I said, I don't think the parents really give a crap. But at least I know my boyfriend won't put up with it endlessly, which he told me flat out after we'd arrived back home. So, all in all, it was a chaotic but good night. I didn't get stressed (thanks to my allergy pills), and my boyfriend has started putting some limits, which he's planned on reinforcing next time. I was happy to find out that I wasn't the only one who was slowly getting fed up with it. One time when I was like 8 or 9 My gradparents came over for a family dinner. I found it a hilarious idea to come down to dinner wearing a nice shirt but NO PANTS, NO UNDERWEAR haha. The look on my grandparents face was priceless. The little girl seems REALLY BAD but what can you do about it. Shes not your kid. I would have told her "I hope your joking about letting kids see you naked for money because that could get you in a lot of trouble"
threebyfate Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 The incidents that you speak of point to more than just a child misbehaving. There's something wrong with this child.
TaraMaiden Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 The incidents that you speak of point to more than just a child misbehaving. There's something wrong with this child. I would agree with this, vehemently. What is more worrying is that the mother/parents don't seem to be either conscious or caring of the fact. Yuk. This is tasteless to the extreme. What the hell is she being exposed to at this age, if she's coming out with sleazy garbage like this?
Jilly Bean Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 There's some serious signs of molestation going on, Pretty. Doesn't anyone seem to get this? Kids do like to run around naked on occasion, but the "take pics of my nipples" is NOT something a 6-year old should know, nor is her taking money to show her vagina to her classmates appropriate. Yeesh. No wonder she is acting out constantly. What a cry for help.
Art_Critic Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 (edited) What I want to know is why haven't any of the adults inquired and gone apeshiot over her having pictures taken of her private parts ? Including your BF and yourself .. Taking pictures of the nipples and private parts of a child is a felony and if they sent those pictures to anyone the charges go to distribution of Child Pornography and other charges.. Why is it that all of the Adults in that household and at the get together have done nothing while hearing the child talk about being sexually assaulted ? By the way.. I would agree that the child has more going on than a behavior issue.. Edited June 27, 2010 by Art_Critic
Jilly Bean Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 What I want to know is why haven't any of the adults inquired and gone apeshiot over her having pictures taken of her private parts ? Including your BF and yourself .. Taking pictures of the nipples and private parts of a child is a felony and if they sent those pictures to anyone the charges go to distribution of Child Pornography and other charges.. Why is it that all of the Adults in that household and at the get together have done nothing while hearing the child talk about being sexually assaulted ? By the way.. I would agree that the child has more going on than a behavior issue.. Art - I believe she said the little girl asked the uncle to take these pics. She didn't say anyone HAD.
Author prettybaby Posted June 27, 2010 Author Posted June 27, 2010 There's some serious signs of molestation going on, Pretty. Doesn't anyone seem to get this? I wouldn't go as far as claiming that, honestly. I think on one hand her parents are a little careless about adult content on TV, and on the other hand, they don't tell her clearly what's inappropriate. I get the feeling she's just copying what she sees and gets a kick out of our reactions. But that's just my gut feeling from being around her. It also appears that both her and her brother have unsupervised access to YouTube and all the junk it includes.
Author prettybaby Posted June 27, 2010 Author Posted June 27, 2010 What I want to know is why haven't any of the adults inquired and gone apeshiot over her having pictures taken of her private parts ? Including your BF and yourself .. Taking pictures of the nipples and private parts of a child is a felony and if they sent those pictures to anyone the charges go to distribution of Child Pornography and other charges.. Why is it that all of the Adults in that household and at the get together have done nothing while hearing the child talk about being sexually assaulted ? By the way.. I would agree that the child has more going on than a behavior issue.. Nobody took pictures, nor would anybody ever do that.
Art_Critic Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 Art - I believe she said the little girl asked the uncle to take these pics. She didn't say anyone HAD. Okay... then why didn't he go WTF.. The kid didn't just pull "Take a picture of my nipples" from the air.. and she said she gets paid to drop her panties.. WTF
Author prettybaby Posted June 27, 2010 Author Posted June 27, 2010 Okay... then why didn't he go WTF.. The kid didn't just pull "Take a picture of my nipples" from the air.. and she said she gets paid to drop her panties.. WTF WTF = exactly our reaction. We told her to stop that and she just laughed. Honestly, she just doesn't seem to get that it's inappropriate.
Art_Critic Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 Nobody took pictures, nor would anybody ever do that. ahh.. I beg to differ.. that kid has had pictures of her private parts taken in the past, the child didn't just come up with that at dinner.. Maybe you can't see it but something isn't right.. the kid is acting out not just spoiled
Art_Critic Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 WTF = exactly our reaction. We told her to stop that and she just laughed. Honestly, she just doesn't seem to get that it's inappropriate. She shouldn't get. she is a child.. it is the adults that are missing it...
Jilly Bean Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 I wouldn't go as far as claiming that, honestly. I think on one hand her parents are a little careless about adult content on TV, and on the other hand, they don't tell her clearly what's inappropriate. I get the feeling she's just copying what she sees and gets a kick out of our reactions. But that's just my gut feeling from being around her. It also appears that both her and her brother have unsupervised access to YouTube and all the junk it includes. Well, would you want to run the risk with her safety that you are wrong? I do think this girl is acting out sexually. Clearly. In MANY ways. I was 6 once. And I had seen grown-ups kiss. Didn't mean I was trying to kiss relatives on the lips. And I also was aware of the difference between boys and girls. Doesn't mean I was making bank showing my vag to kids in school. And I wasn't aware youtube had sexual content. Am I supposed to believe this is where she learned to ask grown men to take pics of her nipples? Egads - what WILL it take for someone in this household to pay attention to signs of abuse?!
Jilly Bean Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 ahh.. I beg to differ.. that kid has had pictures of her private parts taken in the past, the child didn't just come up with that at dinner.. Maybe you can't see it but something isn't right.. the kid is acting out not just spoiled Oh, no, I get it, and I'm with you. I don't doubt that, either. I just meant that wasn't part of the actual story of last night. You took it as a subtext.
Art_Critic Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 You tube isn't really all that safe for children.. While they don't allow porn they certainly allow inappropriate for children videos. ie: They have videos of women showing how to give great blow jobs and they use a carrot instead.. You tube viewing should always be either blocked or monitored
Author prettybaby Posted June 27, 2010 Author Posted June 27, 2010 ahh.. I beg to differ.. that kid has had pictures of her private parts taken in the past, the child didn't just come up with that at dinner.. Maybe you can't see it but something isn't right.. the kid is acting out not just spoiled Quite frankly, I really doubt that has happened, but hey, I'm not claiming I'm aware of what goes on in her life 24/7. I only see the kid once in a while. Obviously, I'll keep my eyes and ears open should any red flags show up at future dinners, but I wouldn't think of the worst just yet. She's 6 and doesn't know what's inappropriate. So if no one tells her - especially her parents-, she has no way of knowing not to do that kinda stuff. Her brother was laughing about some YouTube videos he got from his classmates, and he viewed them together with his sister. I mean, they were both laughing hysterically about some adult content. I don't think they realize. And if the parents aren't monitoring ... We tell them it's inoppropriate and not to do that, but let's face it: we have little to no impact on them.
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