Waiting4TheSun Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 I'd like to try to save this relationship, but I'm getting resentful and feeling a little dragged down. Every time something new or good happens, my boyfriend is always focusing on there must be a down side of the situtation. I decided to go back to school for my BA. "Degrees don't mean a thing" was the response. A waste of time and money. Anytime we get invited anywhere he always has something bad to say about the other people involved, where we're going, or what we plan to do, but then has a great time. I have to work 2 late nights a week which are opposite his late night schedule and he says "Well, that's the way you like it. Keeping yourself busy. I won't see you till the weekend." We have a house together and I have to work to make money to pay bills! The kicker was about a week ago, I had an idea for a product to make and market through my business and the response was, "That's great! But I don't think I'd like it if you were famous." What is that??! Really? Also, recently, I've decided to quit smoking. I'm not even trying to force him to do as well. That's his deal.. but of course, his comment was that that's how the beginning of the end of his first marriage ended... she quit smoking. Way to project! Argh! I'm starting to have bad thoughts about our relationship every time these comments start flowing. I don't even want to have discussions with him anymore. I'm also starting to realize that the negativity is definitely taking a toll on me and my productivity, and of course our relationship. Any advice on dealing with this before it's too detrimental? I'd like to try to save us and I do understand you can't change people.
quankanne Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 unless you're willing to sacrifice your sanity – not to mention your soul – for a relationship that's never going to get better, just walk away. All that negativity equals a kind of emotional abuse, and you don't need that shxt in your life, because an emotional vampire will do whatever (s)he can to suck you dry ...
Author Waiting4TheSun Posted June 22, 2010 Author Posted June 22, 2010 Thank you for your input. You're absolutely right. What I think is the proper thing to do is to try to have a discussion with him later and see what he thinks of this behavior. I am seriously thinking that this relationship is definitely doomed. It's really too bad, but absolutely not! I don't want to deal with that for the rest of my life.
xpaperxcutx Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 SOs are supposed to be supportive, how can you stand a guy who bashes your dream like that? This is the one time where you put your career ahead of the person. Don't let a guy like that stop you from getting a BA and whatever else you're striving for. You can always find a better boyfriend than that.
Author Waiting4TheSun Posted June 22, 2010 Author Posted June 22, 2010 SOs are supposed to be supportive, how can you stand a guy who bashes your dream like that? This is the one time where you put your career ahead of the person. Don't let a guy like that stop you from getting a BA and whatever else you're striving for. You can always find a better boyfriend than that. Thank you for responding. You are so right. And, I'm still finishing my degree despite the comment. It just makes it tough to be missing that support.
Diezel Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 Why would you want to save this? You think it's going to get any better AFTER marriage? EJECT.
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