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Question about how she looks and jealousy


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Posted

Where do I start..I was married for 12 years..that ended..and no with am or have been with the most wonderful woman of my dreams in every way..I find her very attractive but when i see other men look at her..i get so jealous..and worked up..I don't know if i compare myself in some ways..or what..she has never cheated on me and tells me many times that she wouldn't..but it bothers me when I see that..

Any advice cuz I know this issue has to cease..

 

i never felt like this with my ex wife..not once..

Posted

First of all, ".." is not a punctuation. Either commit to the period (.), the ellipses (...), or a comma (,) Splitting the difference doesn't work.

 

At any rate, try telling yourself that even though men are looking at her, YOU get to go home with her. I used to love to see guys stare. You should see it as a boost, not jealousy.

Posted (edited)

I don't see the problem. You're with someone desirable. Would you want to be with someone who didn't get a second look from other guys? I prefer having a partner that makes me look good, too.

Edited by Billzebub
punctuation nazis
Posted

It's good that you can recognise that it's your problem, not hers. Your response isn't based on anything SHE is doing, but what other people(men) are doing. I know you can't help being jealous. But you can choose how you respond to it, and you need to choose an appropriate response when you feel jealous.

 

See, the way i figure it - your girlfriend is beautiful. Men WILL

look at her. Your response can go two ways -

 

a) Be jealous, get cranky at her for it, accuse her of flirting, cheating, leading men on. She'll eventually get soooo sick of you treating her like that she will leave you or move on to someone esle.

 

or

b) You need to learn to take a breath, smile, put your arm around her and think 'damm i'm lucky'. Be proud that she's beautiful, and she's yours.

Posted

OP, prior to your exW, did you ever 'feel that way' with any woman? It's possible you went for 'safety' and/or 'convenience' in your M because what you feel scares you. If so, examine that fear. Your answers lie there. Good luck :)

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