MoscaVia Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 Well, my divorce was final June 3. He found a great apt and I am happy for him. Our three teenagers take turns going back and forth. We had originally planned to house share and have the two of us switch places (birdnesting), but its worked out that he stays there and I stay in the house. We divorced uncontested, opted out of friend of court and had our own agreement. The judge waived the six month waiting period because we had gone thru this in 08. He comes over twice a week to mow the lawn and help with other things, as in the agreement. In return, I pay him 400 per month to go towards his share of the equity shouold I ever sell the house. This helps him afford his own place. So, its all fell into place. Ok. Now what! Its wierd....hard to get used to being divorced...just like it was hard to get used to being married. I would love to meet someone, to date, etc. But there doesn't seem to be any singles in my age group in this town that would be compatable. Its lonely.....but no lonlier than when I was married. I have to say the best thing is that I no longer face each day with the frustration, sadness and depression of being legally married to someone totally incompatable.
imagine Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 Its lonely.....but no lonlier than when I was married. I have to say the best thing is that I no longer face each day with the frustration, sadness and depression of being legally married to someone totally incompatable. I don't believe in the word "incompatible" in marriage. We all are "incompatible". I believe that we all have to change for the better. Marriage should be engaged with the same desire. I'm sorry that your marriage ended the way that it did. Do not look for a marriage where your husband must keep your happy. Make yourself happy first, this joy will attract others.
trippi1432 Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 I don't believe in the word "incompatible" in marriage. We all are "incompatible". I believe that we all have to change for the better. Marriage should be engaged with the same desire. I'm sorry that your marriage ended the way that it did. Do not look for a marriage where your husband must keep your happy. Make yourself happy first, this joy will attract others. Interesting....my ex used the same word...incompatible....he did whatever he wanted to make himself happy, I worked, studied and took care of the kids. Not everyone is attracted to joy (okay, drunk and highness) when it is at our expense. At any rate, now that you are divorced....start finding things you enjoy doing with friends or by yourself. My advice is not to look for a "husband" at all right now. Move towards learning more about yourself and why you were unhappy in it....(maybe you were happy, but identify things that for you could have been better). Once you know what you are looking for, once you know what makes you happy and you have your own self-definition of who you are...it will come together.
2ndthymearound Posted June 28, 2010 Posted June 28, 2010 I agree w Trippi. I have been married before and I am separated right now. I remember a few years ago when I was upset and I wondered, maybe it's me! I was married before and I wasn't happy and now I am married again and I'm not happy. The truth is that I haven't been happy w myself for a long time, if ever. I have always looked for them to make me happy. You shouldn't look to anyone else to make you happy. I would just take one day at a time. Do the things that you've always wanted to do. Travel, whatever. There's an old boyfriend that I would consider reconnecting with.
tornandmarried Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 yeah its hard to meet new people....up your odds best u can....go out to public places have a good time, talk to people...even bring some friends with you or go on an outing with your kids...stuff like that....but most importantly work on yourself and cheer yourself up
Recommended Posts