Recently started NC

[johnny_w]

I tell ya, I went from begging, pleading, crying, shaking rediculously and feeling numb to being able to have the discipline to not contact her. You will find my break up story and a bit more on my other thred you can find in my statistics. I have been CONSTANTLY CONSTANTLY researching and researching on how to get her back. I've been reading even the same articles twice. Which means I am skeptikal about getting her back. Because the idea of being able to get her back when she dumped me and said she doesn't love me anymore and doesn't want to be friends and now she Is with someone else, the idea of getting her back seems far too unrealistic. And I know why, our emotions blind us to see the logical side. The idea of NC was counter-intuitive to me. Because It went against my emotions. But now after reading many articles and success stories I had been trying to convince myself that the NC can really help. I was SO STUPID to look at her facebook! like a 2 year old touching a hot stove. I hated reading "In a relationship with _____" which sent a sick feeling to my gut. Curiousity killed the cat huh. I haven't txted her In Just over a day. I am very pleased and surprised that after Just a week after our break up I have the discipline to not txt her. Because now I've realized that begging etc was making it worse. What more do I have to lose now so I decided NC I told her I was happy for her told her i dont hate her told her all the best and told her i'll support her if she has problems with her new boyfriend but said in the mean time i'll be busy and told her its a good thing that she doesnt want to talk to me because i said i will need some space for the time being. She didn't txt back. But only time will make her miss me. I'm still in doubt because my emotions are blinding me. If she does end up txting me back after saying she doesnt want to know me or here from me again I will be SHOCKED. Its only been a week so every now and then I sigh and feel so very down and time to time i worry about the things shes doing to or with him which makes me sick to my gut. I really hope this NC thing works. I still need to gain perspective i can only do that once i dont keep thinking about her. Still need to decide if its a good idea that i get her back because i need to think about what if me and her end up getting a job and cars but barely talk because we work. she hated no communication. The only way we could work is if i lived with her so i could see her after work everyday. Still need to think.

[lvixen]

I tell ya, I went from begging, pleading, crying, shaking rediculously and feeling numb to being able to have the discipline to not contact her. You will find my break up story and a bit more on my other thred you can find in my statistics. I have been CONSTANTLY CONSTANTLY researching and researching on how to get her back. I've been reading even the same articles twice. Which means I am skeptikal about getting her back. Because the idea of being able to get her back when she dumped me and said she doesn't love me anymore and doesn't want to be friends and now she Is with someone else, the idea of getting her back seems far too unrealistic. And I know why, our emotions blind us to see the logical side. The idea of NC was counter-intuitive to me. Because It went against my emotions. But now after reading many articles and success stories I had been trying to convince myself that the NC can really help. I was SO STUPID to look at her facebook! like a 2 year old touching a hot stove. I hated reading "In a relationship with _____" which sent a sick feeling to my gut. Curiousity killed the cat huh. I haven't txted her In Just over a day. I am very pleased and surprised that after Just a week after our break up I have the discipline to not txt her. Because now I've realized that begging etc was making it worse. What more do I have to lose now so I decided NC I told her I was happy for her told her i dont hate her told her all the best and told her i'll support her if she has problems with her new boyfriend but said in the mean time i'll be busy and told her its a good thing that she doesnt want to talk to me because i said i will need some space for the time being. She didn't txt back. But only time will make her miss me. I'm still in doubt because my emotions are blinding me. If she does end up txting me back after saying she doesnt want to know me or here from me again I will be SHOCKED. Its only been a week so every now and then I sigh and feel so very down and time to time i worry about the things shes doing to or with him which makes me sick to my gut. I really hope this NC thing works. I still need to gain perspective i can only do that once i dont keep thinking about her. Still need to decide if its a good idea that i get her back because i need to think about what if me and her end up getting a job and cars but barely talk because we work. she hated no communication. The only way we could work is if i lived with her so i could see her after work everyday. Still need to think.

 

Well, I admire her for not giving you the "I want to be friends line", which is almost always a lie, to keep us in their back pockets. She's giving you a clean break; be thankful for that. NC does indeed work, at first you'll still think about her a lot but give it a month or two and you'll notice that you're starting to think about her less and less. You're right, NC will give you the perspective you need. It helped me with that. You gotta STICK with it though, which means no more sending her texts!

 

Good luck with the rest of your journey towards healing.

[LoveTruthChaos]

I was SO STUPID to look at her facebook! like a 2 year old touching a hot stove. I hated reading "In a relationship with _____" which sent a sick feeling to my gut. Curiousity killed the cat huh.

 

 

i worry about the things shes doing to or with him which makes me sick to my gut. I really hope this NC thing works. I still need to gain perspective i can only do that once i dont keep thinking about her.

 

 

I'm proud of how far you've come in just one day - well done! Keep up NC and it will get easier, I promise you.

I made the mistake of looking at FB too, and I saw the same thing. Put me right back to square one. I blocked my ex about 5 days after I saw that on his wall. The clincher for me? When I couldn't sleep, wondering what his new GF was posting on his wall, overanalysing any communication between the two of them. The anxiety was killing me, I literally struggled to breathe. Since blocking him, I am doing SO MUCH BETTER!

 

I had the same thoughts as you - wondering what they're up to together, what the ex is thinking, etc. I still do sometimes. They're the bad days (I had one today ). I read a post a while ago on LS that helped me a lot. It was something along the lines of:

 

Don't get into your ex's head. Don't wonder what they're thinking. It doesn't matter. Stay only in your own head, focus on what you want, and that only.

 

Something like that anyway. It works!

[heavensmesenger]

I'm sorry to hear what your going through, but if its meant to be its meant to be.

 

My ex cheated on me and dumped me for "him" a player roughly 6 weeks ago. I have only just started NC and it's very hard, I'm only on day 2. I've seen her every week since the break up and it does tear you apart especially when your the only one who feels anything.

 

Don't be fooled into thinking NC will get her back because it may not. The only reason I'm on NC is because she told me to leave her alone. Mind you it wasn't my fault she made me think we were back together for a day and then went straight back to him.

 

Stay strong mate, your not alone. Oh and the "lets be friends" line. Total and utter pain, not bad if you feel nothing for your ex though otherwise DO NOT DO IT. You try seeing her ONLY when she wants to and telling you how happy she is, how great her new partner is and seeing the look of hurt on your face.

 

Or theres the alternative, she sees you after a fight with him, you tell her how great she is, she feels better and goes straight back to him.

 

Some of em get off on it, well I think my ex does anyways. Makes them feel like they made the right choice or something.

[BiAxident]

You're doing the right thing with NC. Although I never fully stopped thinking about my ex, I actually still thought about her a little bit everyday, it certainly was easier to cope without being exposed to how she was doing, who she was dating, etc, etc. Over time, things become easier.