Fay Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 I've been seeing this guy for almost a month, 2-3 times a week, and I want to stop seeing him. Pros: -extremely attractive -rocks my world in bed -brilliant -wittiest person I've ever known -good-natured -gentlemanly -has interests and beliefs very similar to mine Cons: -no personal goals except for graduating from university (and he's 27, lol). He lives happily on unemployment checks. -I've only heard him utter a serious sentence TWICE in the whole time I've known him - every last thing I say triggers an ironic, facetious response from him; I've given up on trying to have a serious conversation with the man. It doesn't exist. I wonder what he's trying to cover up with all his joking fake answers, but really, I don't even wonder anymore; I just don't care anymore. It's gotten old. Seriously, he's only been serious TWICE. I counted. And it lasted all of maybe three sentences each time, then devolved back to jokes. I LOVE joking, but every now and then it's nice to actually have a real conversation. Are there any legitimate thoughts in his head? -On the dating site where I met him, I read some of his public answers to dating questions, and one of them asked whether he believed in monogamy, and he answered "Not Sure". This isn't even a clincher, because I could take or leave commitment, but still, other things convince me he's seeing other people. If he were straightforward about it, it would be a different story, but I haven't heard a peep. And if I asked, he'd probably deflect with some of his famous sarcasm. -He always comes to see me at my place. He's never once invited me to his, and he didn't even invite me to his birthday party, which was last week. I haven't met a single friend of his and don't think he's told anyone about me. -Lately he won't even stay over, even though he has no job or responsibilities in the morning. He used to stay over. No more. There's always some lame excuse. Another warning sign that there's someone else, or that he just comes over for a booty call. Now, since I've already decided he's a goner (unless someone here gives me an excellent reason why he shouldn't be, and explains how I should make this work), what I need is for someone to be a darling and draft up a Dear John letter for me, using the information provided above (exclude anything you think doesn't need to be said). I know if I write it, it'll come out sounding very b itchy, because that's how I express myself in those situations, and I really don't want to be that way to him because he's a nice guy and hasn't actually done anything wrong to me. So, can someone whip up a civil, reasonable-sounding breakup letter for me? PRETTY PLEASE?
sedgwick Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 Nope, this is your job! If you want to break up, break up. You've only been seeing him a couple of weeks and you're already tired of him. End it now, no harm no foul.
Author Fay Posted June 22, 2010 Author Posted June 22, 2010 Nope, this is your job! If you want to break up, break up. You've only been seeing him a couple of weeks and you're already tired of him. End it now, no harm no foul. Pleeeeeezzzzz! I'm going to foul up the dumping letter if I write it myself! Please help!
lvixen Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 Pleeeeeezzzzz! I'm going to foul up the dumping letter if I write it myself! Please help! DON'T write a letter, tell him face to face. Nothing more cowardly than a letter. Just say, "I like you and all but I don't think this is going to work out". Don't offer to be friends unless you're serious about that.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 DON'T write a letter, tell him face to face. Nothing more cowardly than a letter. Just say, "I like you and all but I don't think this is going to work out". Don't offer to be friends unless you're serious about that. Agreed im guessing it was going to be a dear john email? they suck and I would respect some one way more if they did it face to face. Like the poster above me said just say something like you don't think you and him are right for each other but do it in person.
paleblue Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 DON'T write a letter, tell him face to face. Nothing more cowardly than a letter. Just say, "I like you and all but I don't think this is going to work out". Don't offer to be friends unless you're serious about that. Agree. its hard to do, but you can do it. you will feel a lot better about yourself (for yourself) telling him in person, than wussing out with an email. It doesnt have to be serious, just keep it light hearted like he does with everything in the world apparently. "hey we're cool, but i can't see this going anywhere" followed by an innocent "sorry".
123BeachFan Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 "hey we're cool, but i can't see this going anywhere" followed by an innocent "sorry". Ooh, I like this. I'm keeping it for future use.
AlwaysConflicted Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 This wasn't a long relationship but maybe also add in something that says "You can't convince me to stay, I'm emotionally over this." That way you wont be getting love texts, emails or calls. As a guy I need to know that there's no chance on earth.
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