trippi1432 Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 Ok, new to the dating game after being out of pocket for 15 years. Will be divorced soon and ex moved on immediately. I have been in one "relationship" since the ex moved out...I was very comfortable with that...but it didn't work out. Now, I have been very careful about meeting men...have even thought about giving dating a rest for a few years...then tonight, along comes this guy from out of the blue....we hit on matching up on almost everything. Even chatted on IM for 3 hours. This would be a very massive trade up considering both of my ex-husbands...and I think that we find each other very interesting. My biggest thing is that I do not want to get used, I want to stay grounded this time and let things run their course. I've let him know where I stand on my values and he was respectful of that, but does anyone have any dating advice when you have been out of the game for so long? Amazing, I have been hoping for change...so far two great things have happened this week....we shall see, but for once I see gray clouds parting and that is uplifting enough in itself.
hopesndreams Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 then tonight, along comes this guy from out of the blue....we hit on matching up on almost everything. Even chatted on IM for 3 hours. This would be a very massive trade up considering both of my ex-husbands...and I think that we find each other very interesting. Was this someone you met online?
Author trippi1432 Posted June 23, 2010 Author Posted June 23, 2010 Hi H&D....yes it is....sent you a PM.
carhill Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Great.... post a new thread when you get back from your first date. I'm happy for you. My advice is contained within the above
Darth Vader Posted June 26, 2010 Posted June 26, 2010 Great.... post a new thread when you get back from your first date. I'm happy for you. My advice is contained within the above When you screw this guy, yes we all know you probably will, make sure it's not at your home where your children could hear, or walk in on you riding away! That'd be a reason for your children needing counseling! Sure, that statement is kinda tongue in cheek (no pun intended), but it happens!
alexlakeman Posted June 26, 2010 Posted June 26, 2010 When you screw this guy, yes we all know you probably will, make sure it's not at your home where your children could hear, or walk in on you riding away! That'd be a reason for your children needing counseling! Sure, that statement is kinda tongue in cheek (no pun intended), but it happens! based on your response, you sound like a d.ck:mad:
Author trippi1432 Posted June 27, 2010 Author Posted June 27, 2010 When you screw this guy, yes we all know you probably will, make sure it's not at your home where your children could hear, or walk in on you riding away! That'd be a reason for your children needing counseling! Sure, that statement is kinda tongue in cheek (no pun intended), but it happens! Darth - your dark side is showing and I may have to pull out my light saber....you don't wanna know where it's going. :eek::laugh: A SMART woman always has a plan and the fact that my son is home this week is the perfect out for not bringing anyone home. His home is also out as it is some distance away....so there Mr. Darth....not all women are as easy as it seems. In addition, if he IS a gentleman, which he had better be or he might just get taz'd....he will respect the fact that I have already been up front with my expectations of this date....NO NOOKIE!! LOL!!! Just for info, as I know you probably don't know the back-story, his father pulled a GF out of the wood pile not even 6 weeks after he left...moved in with her and immediately introduced her to the DS. I've never brought a "date" home.....speaking of which....I wonder why....haven't been dating. LOL!! Carhill - you are too funny....thanks...LOL! Alex - Thank you for defending my honor.
Corporate Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 What happened to this guy? Did he break up with you?
Author trippi1432 Posted July 2, 2010 Author Posted July 2, 2010 What happened to this guy? Did he break up with you? First off, in order for anyone to break up with you, you would have to be an exclusive item, or be in a "relationship" would you not? I do not consider a 3 hour IM "conversation", a 2.5 hour meet-n-greet to get to know each other over an appetizer and a couple of drinks to be consider going steady. Currently, there are no developments in this area as I am not sure that I am interested in him. With that said, I am pretty sure of his "interests" or "intentions" with me, and I'm not convinced the interests are a relationship. Has he asked to go out with me since then, yes.....however, I am unsure as to whether I want to or not. As I stated, it comes down to intentions....most women can judge those pretty well (or should be able to). If the intentions are not pure or valid in getting to know me as a person (in other words, just looking for a "lay"), and the interest in that is not there on the other side, then why bother? There is nothing in the "Dating Bible" that states meeting someone is considered going steady, unless that person asks you to see them exclusively. And there is no rule that states that a woman has to "put out" just because a man is interested in her....believe me, I've turned down men from 25 years old to 51 years old that have hit on me. So Corporate, not sure your gender, but if you are a woman, I hope that this post has taught you something about self-respect.....if you are a man, hopefully it taught you something about the fact that not all women worth having are easy.
Corporate Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 Someone takes themselves WAY too seriously. :laugh: :D
Author trippi1432 Posted July 2, 2010 Author Posted July 2, 2010 Someone takes themselves WAY too seriously. :laugh: :D Thank you, I consider that a compliment actually. :lmao::lmao:
Author trippi1432 Posted July 2, 2010 Author Posted July 2, 2010 Someone takes themselves WAY too seriously. Oh this is GOOD!! Evidently this is ok for men but not for women....taken from your post on another thread.... Diezel Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: New Jersey Posts: 216 Marine, you're killing me here. Everytime I read another of these "Every woman is not good enough for me, except my EX" threads from you, I want to gouge my eyes out. Look, confidence does NOT make you shallow... it makes you SELECTIVE. It means you get to PICK who you would like to be with based on a set of criteria. It's called "NOT SETTLING" and when you become older, that's NOT a bad thing at all. When you're younger, you take just about ANYTHING, but as you grow older, you begin to realize what behaviors you'll tolerate and what'll physically spark an attraction for you. Again, it's SELECTIVE, not SHALLOW. It means you're doing it RIGHT. Works both ways Diezel!! My ex wasn't good enough....now I know to be more selective.
gamma1 Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 Trippi, any normal, emotionally-healthy male who goes out with you on a date will be sizing you up as a potential sex partner from square one. Don't hold it against men that they want to have sex with you. A quality man will think of many things other than sex also and is able to wait awhile before having sex.
Author trippi1432 Posted July 2, 2010 Author Posted July 2, 2010 Trippi, any normal, emotionally-healthy male who goes out with you on a date will be sizing you up as a potential sex partner from square one. Don't hold it against men that they want to have sex with you. Oh, I totally understand that, honestly both partners are sizing each other up for that. Not holding it against them, but I also think that it is fair that if there is no attraction to them from my side....then I am not obligated nor do I feel it right to lead them on for a second date. Not just a physical attraction, but subsequent conversations that entail a little more than harmless flirting. A quality man will think of many things other than sex also and is able to wait awhile before having sex. Exactly gamma1. If you are into your second conversation with a man or even your first conversation and they are making sexually explicit remarks....before ever even meeting you...then a woman pretty much knows what that is about. On the other hand, if the conversations to get to know each other have been going on for a while (and "a while" probably means something different to everyone) and there is a mutual attraction ....then you can typically get to consent. See, even on the dating sites...you read these profiles.....let's be friends first....let's take it slow and the next thing you know on the first contact they are asking for your boob size and what turns you. (This is exactly the reason why I canceled my memberships with these sites.)
hopesndreams Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 A quality man will think of many things other than sex also and is able to wait awhile before having sex. This I like. But, does it happen?
Diezel Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 Oh this is GOOD!! Evidently this is ok for men but not for women....taken from your post on another thread.... Diezel Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: New Jersey Posts: 216 Marine, you're killing me here. Everytime I read another of these "Every woman is not good enough for me, except my EX" threads from you, I want to gouge my eyes out. Look, confidence does NOT make you shallow... it makes you SELECTIVE. It means you get to PICK who you would like to be with based on a set of criteria. It's called "NOT SETTLING" and when you become older, that's NOT a bad thing at all. When you're younger, you take just about ANYTHING, but as you grow older, you begin to realize what behaviors you'll tolerate and what'll physically spark an attraction for you. Again, it's SELECTIVE, not SHALLOW. It means you're doing it RIGHT. Works both ways Diezel!! My ex wasn't good enough....now I know to be more selective. I was talking about your comment to Corporate, not your OP. All he did was just ask you a question and you just went NUTS on him. Jesus Christ... you totally proved me right.
hopesndreams Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 On the other hand, if the conversations to get to know each other have been going on for a while (and "a while" probably means something different to everyone) and there is a mutual attraction ....then you can typically get to consent. That's how most players play right?
hopesndreams Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 they are asking for your boob size and what turns you. I have never had that happen to me and I'm on the trashier, free site, POF.
Author trippi1432 Posted July 2, 2010 Author Posted July 2, 2010 I was talking about your comment to Corporate, not your OP. All he did was just ask you a question and you just went NUTS on him. Jesus Christ... you totally proved me right. Sorry Diezel, you got caught in a cross-fire....going NUTS on someone takes a little more prompting than a simple question like that. Corporate stalked me from the S&D forum to stir up issues here where he made false accusations. Of course nothing like a little drama to get the post counts up....:rolleyes:
Author trippi1432 Posted July 2, 2010 Author Posted July 2, 2010 they are asking for your boob size and what turns you. I have never had that happen to me and I'm on the trashier, free site, POF. You know, you may have a point H&D....I don't recall anyone doing that to me on the POF site either. Makes me wonder.....if a guy is paying to advertise himself....does that give him the feeling of entitlement? I've even seen profiles that state that if you are not a paying member, do not contact me. And I have heard rumors that if there is no profile pic....most likely they are married. You know tho, I do know a lady who met her husband on one of the pay sites....it was the second guy she met and he turned out to be "the one". Guess there is some truth in advertising after all....just have to look for it right?
Author trippi1432 Posted July 2, 2010 Author Posted July 2, 2010 It's like winning the lottery. :laugh::D:D Very good! I like!! I needed the laugh, thanks Girl!! :)
gamma1 Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 This I like. But, does it happen? Thanks. It does happen. I might be going too far in the other direction wanting to know about her as a person and maybe don't spend enough time thinking about her in a sexual way. I keep thinking that should wait until later, but then there is no later when she doesn't want another date.
Author trippi1432 Posted July 3, 2010 Author Posted July 3, 2010 This I like. But, does it happen? LOL!! Well, it takes a very unique man, but yes....I think with the RIGHT man, that does/can happen.
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