Thebob Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 So there is this girl that I have not been trying to get with, and she actually saw me hook up with a girl that I was dating a couple weeks back. In my mind that would be a total turn off from her point of view but ever since then she has invited me to her after parties and told me that she wants to hook up? problem is she isn't my type and I'm trying to understand the psychology of women. I mean hypothetically speaking if I saw a guy hooking up wouldn't the girl normally be like he isn't worth it? I feel like when I don't try with girls I get the ones I don't want, but the ones I want just run away. It's getting a little frustrating, and I feel this girl that I don't want will be a stage 1 clinger and will be a little annoying to deal with down the road. It's getting annoying from my point of view and I'm kind of getting sick of it. I wish it was a reverse roll where the good looking ones are after me and the decent ones just want to stay friends. Maybe this sounds mean but I'm sure this has happened to other guys as well. Thebob
USMCHokie Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 I don't think this has ever happened to me...but I'm sure it'd be a nice problem to have...I think...
Author Thebob Posted June 22, 2010 Author Posted June 22, 2010 I'm more of a looks person then decide if personality is right for me. Then their are others that are like , " It matters what counts on the inside ". I just cant get with a girl if I'm not really physically attracted to her. This has happened to me all the time in the past and I have turned down the non physically attractive ones multiple times. But when I find one that I click with it normally ends up falling apart after 2-3 months. Those encounters are once in a blue moon though, and might happen 1-3 times a year. I'm not trying to be a dick but man I just can't get the nerve to get dirty with girls i'm not attracted to. I know in college its pretty much get what you can get, but that saying just doesn't apply to me, no matter how drunk I am. But I wish the reverse thing could happen where all the ones I like end up wanting to go farther like the non physically attractive ones want. Thebob
Morals Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 If you don't mind me being a bit presumptuous, I'm in the same boat. And I bet I know why... I consider myself fairly decent looking in terms of face appearance. 7-8. However my body isn't quite there. 5 Tops. I'm not really overweight, but I'm not toned, which works to my detriment. (Plus I'm not tanned, and I don't tan well, plus my family has a history of skin cancer so I avoid being in the sun mainly). I hate to use the 1-10 scale but that's what it boils down to. Girls you like (are probably higher then you on the scale) and don't mind befriending you, but you aren't quite up there. Girls that you aren't really physically interested in like you. The problem is, that I find alot of girls are in the extremes of weight (either really skinny, or really obese). There aren't alot of "middle" girls. Conversely, I know alot of guys who are like me. Right in the middle. Not really in shape, but not out of shape. The in shape girls want an in-shape guy, and the out of shape girls want any guy... It sucks, I feel you I really do.
Author Thebob Posted June 22, 2010 Author Posted June 22, 2010 Dont get me wrong I'm not a bad looking guy. 6 foot tall, around 160 with a 6 pack cause I am an athlete. My buddies when drunk have told me that i'm like a 8-9 outta 10, and girls have told me that I have changed a lot since high school for the better. All the girls that I have ever had sex with were all 7 outta 10's if not 8 outta 10s, which the number is only 2 cause I can't get dirty with ugly ones, I just cant my brain wont let me. I have made out and hooked up with 7 other girls outside that and they were all above a 6 outta 10 in my book. I just can't get the nerve to go lower, and the really hot ones I can get to like me, but it never lasts. But when I hook up with one of these and the ugly ones witness it, they become obsessed. Everytime I go out that decent girl is there and she sees 3-4 girls around me chatting all the with me. I think that increases her jealously and it kinda wants her to get me more or something. It's kinda annoying cause instead of hooking up with only 9 girls in my life it could have easily been in the 30-40s, but the girls were not that attractive at all. Thebob
Tres Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 Is there anything good about you except your looks? Beautiful chicks love guys with good looks coupled with other nice qualities such as money, intelligence, communication skills, and other features.
xpaperxcutx Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 Even if I want to hook up with someone I have at least like them and be physically attracted to them to take the plunge. And you are right that most girls are turned off by guys who just want the hook up thing.
Author Thebob Posted June 22, 2010 Author Posted June 22, 2010 Just that I am an athlete, pretty good looking guy, and goin to school in the business program. So I have a lot going for me in college at the moment and I can start a conversation pretty much anywhere at anytime. I feel like there is somethin missin though with the girls that are 8s or 9s within my personality. Thebob
that girl Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 Seeing a guy make out with someone else would be a turn off for me because he is either taken/on the way to being taken or a player. If you are that good looking, it could simply be a matter of knowing you are open for business that makes the other girls come running. You need to stop bemoaning the fact that girls you don't like are interested, that happens to everyone. But it just takes one who you like and likes you back to make this all irrelevant.
Tres Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 Just that I am an athlete, pretty good looking guy, and goin to school in the business program. So I have a lot going for me in college at the moment and I can start a conversation pretty much anywhere at anytime. I feel like there is somethin missin though with the girls that are 8s or 9s within my personality. Thebob It is also good to be able to continue conversation at least during 5 dates:) Girls looking for some emotional satisfaction in any kind of relationships including ONSs. Did you checked your emotional intellegence IQ?
Stung Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 So there is this girl that I have not been trying to get with, and she actually saw me hook up with a girl that I was dating a couple weeks back. In my mind that would be a total turn off from her point of view but ever since then she has invited me to her after parties and told me that she wants to hook up? problem is she isn't my type and I'm trying to understand the psychology of women. I mean hypothetically speaking if I saw a guy hooking up wouldn't the girl normally be like he isn't worth it? I feel like when I don't try with girls I get the ones I don't want, but the ones I want just run away. It's getting a little frustrating, and I feel this girl that I don't want will be a stage 1 clinger and will be a little annoying to deal with down the road. It's getting annoying from my point of view and I'm kind of getting sick of it. I wish it was a reverse roll where the good looking ones are after me and the decent ones just want to stay friends. Maybe this sounds mean but I'm sure this has happened to other guys as well. Thebob This is hardly unique to males. The one you don't want, wants you, and the one you want doesn't want you back...this happens to many, possibly most people at some point in their dating experiences, sometimes over and over again. It's just one of the ways the world works. Try not to dwell on it, and keep moving forward.
redmelon Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 It is also good to be able to continue conversation at least during 5 dates:) Girls looking for some emotional satisfaction in any kind of relationships including ONSs. Did you checked your emotional intellegence IQ? Wha? You only have to keep up convo for 5 dates? what happens then?
sagetalk Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 The problem is, that I find alot of girls are in the extremes of weight (either really skinny, or really obese). There aren't alot of "middle" girls. Conversely, I know alot of guys who are like me. Right in the middle. Not really in shape, but not out of shape. The in shape girls want an in-shape guy, and the out of shape girls want any guy... This is very true. It is hard to find girls that fall in the middle. The toned/fit/skinny ones are usually insanely picky with lots of options, even if you're as fit as them or more fit it's a likely fail. The other extreme (not exercising/trying physically at all) is aggressive and can be down right mean if you aren't into them. The latter are scary, I try to avoid them. I'm in shape, but I'm nowhere near ripped enough to get most gym girls. Regular girls who are in the middle are great, but they do seem to be much rarer than regular fitness level guys.
Morals Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 This is very true. It is hard to find girls that fall in the middle. The toned/fit/skinny ones are usually insanely picky with lots of options, even if you're as fit as them or more fit it's a likely fail. The other extreme (not exercising/trying physically at all) is aggressive and can be down right mean if you aren't into them. The latter are scary, I try to avoid them. I'm in shape, but I'm nowhere near ripped enough to get most gym girls. Regular girls who are in the middle are great, but they do seem to be much rarer than regular fitness level guys. Exactly! It just feels like that in my area there are only the two options. And the few "middle" girls I see are all taken! Life is full of situations where you can't ever seem to connect with women you like, but women you don't like seem to want to connect to you. It just gets frustrating to constantly be in a perpetual cycle of this.
counterman Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Life is like that. Sometimes we don't get what we want and what we don't want we can get. Happens to me all the time. There are girls that I know I can date but I am not physically attracted too. There are girls that I like but aren't interested me and when they are, I've moved on already. It is frustrating sometimes but don't let it get to you. Like Hokie said, it is a nice problem to have.
Mimolicious Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Life's mantra- We like those who don't like us/ Don't like those who like us. Hurt the people we love and love those who hurt us. Maybe the girls that want you have insecurity issues for whatever reason. Then a confident chick (your 8's and 9's) may not find you attractive regardless of your physical beauty because they can see right through you. Think about what you are displaying and I don't exactly mean muscles.
Mischa Mischa Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Clearly you're not interested in this girl and if she's already annoying you she will only become more so down the road. Quality over quantity. Just because she likes you does not mean you have to hook up with her. You'll have more self respect for yourself if you stick to what you already know you want/don't want. From an altruistic point of view, by not hooking up with her you're not leading her on only to hurt her down the road. As for the phycology of women, well, some women like the challenge of winning over a guy. She saw you hook up with someone else, there's the challenge, winning your attention. She's then beat the competition. Once girls like this have made their conquer they quickly become disinterested and you will be left having lost two girls. Spare yourself and don't get tangled up in crazy.
deebeechrisyo Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Don't feel like a dick because you value looks over personality in a girl. It's the nature of man.
LondonS Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Right.. I am considered very goodlooking ( not gona use ur poxy scales here), and have a high flying career going, let me tell you that I,ll NEVER date someone like you who is 1. So shallow to be rating everything in scales.. 2. so full of himself.. I Once dated an A&Fitch model and he kept looking at himself in anything that shined.. I dumped him before the date was over.. So here is a suggestion... sure do go for looks but with some brains aswell and before you do that, do a reality check on your own personality... Not every girl who is hot goes for looks alone..
Author Thebob Posted June 23, 2010 Author Posted June 23, 2010 Exactly! It just feels like that in my area there are only the two options. And the few "middle" girls I see are all taken! Life is full of situations where you can't ever seem to connect with women you like, but women you don't like seem to want to connect to you. It just gets frustrating to constantly be in a perpetual cycle of this. it freaking sucks being stuck in the middle of this loop. Its been goin on since I started dating when I was 15-16. I have been on dates with very attractive women but it doesn't last. But man I swear I am a royal God to the unattractive ones. I won't ever understand it. Thebob
Feelin Frisky Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 I have a twelve pack. Girls of character seem to like me anyway. My brother is younger than me by two years, he's white as a ghost, his hair is grey and to me he looks like a dumpy dink. Yet the prettiest girl in his office went all the way with him last week. It is an affair because he's married and has two daughters. He can't explain why this hotty digs him and I sure can't. It's a weird world.
gypsy_nicky Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 OP, I think this phenomenon tends to happen to the average folks-5-6.5/7 range in the looks dept. I think it boils down to how we as people perceive ourselves which usually has the tendency of overestimating the way we look. An example is when the girls your going for (or like) may be in your league but then they tend not to have an accurate perception of how attractive they really are (they think they're 10's), and think you are way below them and brush you off. Which is not the case. Or with that chick that keeps pursuing you, she thinks she's on par with you, looks wise, but is in fact a step down.
Author Thebob Posted June 25, 2010 Author Posted June 25, 2010 She definitely is, and all my girlfriends and guy friends don't understand why I even talk to her. They tell me to just tap it and leave, but I am not that type of guy and I need to be somewhat interested in a girl if I want to go full distance with them. Thebob
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