Figuring It Out Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 My boyfriend is great. In fact, I could see myself one day having a family with him (I'm in my late twenties). Here's what's been bugging me. He plays a very physical sport, and over the years he has suffered from six concussions. He won't stop playing the sport, though, because he loves it. But I don't want to have kids with someone who later on could experience serious medical issues because of the repeated brain damage he has suffered. Being a single parent or having to be a full-time nurse to someone scares me. Would this issue be a deal-breaker for you?
norajane Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 My ex was a triathlete, and avid football player, softball player, and scuba diver. And he biked a lot. He was always getting banged up and recovering from some injury or other. I did think about the future...dude is going to have a bad back (already had surgery on it), bad knees, aches and pains in all his joints, and who knows what getting hit sharply in the head with softballs more than a few times would do (shortstop is a dangerous position!). Oh, and he and his brother almost died scuba diving because they were playing with an underwater scooter and jammed their air hoses somehow... Anyway. I did think about all of that. It didn't make me break up with him, and probably wouldn't have even if other things hadn't happened to lead to a break-up. Actually, what irritated me most was his rigid schedule of training, practices, games, and races. I would have left him for his unyielding schedule before I would have for fear of future medical problems. However, I do not plan to have kids, so that issue does not apply. What does his doctor say about the concussions? Has he ever had an MRI, and has his doc warned him that he's putting himself in danger of future problems?
MizzBlue72 Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 Do you love him? if so no deal breaker .... think with your heart honey - not your head sometimes .....
SpanksTheMonkey Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 My boyfriend is great. In fact, I could see myself one day having a family with him (I'm in my late twenties). Here's what's been bugging me. He plays a very physical sport, and over the years he has suffered from six concussions. He won't stop playing the sport, though, because he loves it. But I don't want to have kids with someone who later on could experience serious medical issues because of the repeated brain damage he has suffered. Being a single parent or having to be a full-time nurse to someone scares me. Would this issue be a deal-breaker for you? Im in my 30s in my early 20s I use to be a ice hockey goalie the hits to the head were brutal even despite having a professional level helmet on. I loved the sport but I believe im now paying a price for that love. Mostly my memory is not what it use to be and it seams to be getting worse as of late. Before I played I was sharp as a tack! I noticed the difference starting about a half year after I stopped playing. Its now to the point I forget and often leave the stove on after cooking I also get migraines that could knock out a horse while I was playing it was to the point I was getting constant nose bleeds. Im not telling you this to frighten you but to let you know that your concerns are quite real. Have you spoken to your husband about how you want to have a family/life with him but am afraid for his health?
Arbitrariness Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 It really depends on your bf and his sport. May I ask what sport your bf does? and about how much he weighs?
lab_brat Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 I think you need to get more information on the issue. Speak to a doctor and weight up the likelihood of the risk (how often it really happens) versus the magnitude of the risk (the severity/likelihood he will be brain damaged) and make a decision. Having said that, you can't tell what is coming in life. You could marry the most staid, boring, sensible banker, who gets hit by a car and ends up brain damaged. Your sport-playing boyfriend could live to be 95 in perfect health, or could die in his 50s - you can't tell. You could develop a viral swelling of the brain and end up the one requiring care (not to be a total downer here I think, for me, i'd take the risk to be with the person i love. Lifes too short
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