Low Priority??

[Priority]

I have been married for 8 years. I lived with my H 7 years prior to getting married. I feel like I am very low on his "priority" list. I come after work obligations, golfing, and his buddies. I have told him how I feel on numerous occasions. Things get better for a week or two then go back to the same old "ignore" routine. Anyone else out there feel like this? Just curious.

[Married_and_Lonely]

It sounds like he enjoys time spent golfing, with buddies, and maybe working more than time spent with you. Figure out a way to make your time together enjoyable again and you'll be a higher priority. He'll see spending time with you as something he wants to do, not something he should do out of obligation or responsibility.

[Priority]

Thank you for the advice Married_and_Lonely. I used to be his "world." We did everything together and always had a good time. He often says, "I wish things could be like they used to be." My reply: "Then lets do the things we used to do." Work gets in his way. Or his buddies call and ask him to have a drink or play golf. I get distant and he wonders why. So I try again and I do feel valued again, for a week or so, and then he goes back to his old ways. I just feel like we might be on the road to ruin. Your screen name tells me a lot. I am Married and very Lonely too. I just want to be important to him again instead of an afterthought.

[Snowflower]

Yup, I've BTDT and felt very low on my husband's list of priorities.

 

Eventually, I moved him and our marriage down on my list of priorities, too.

 

It's complacency at its worst and no, your marriage will not likely survive this way. One of you will finally have enough and will either pursue a divorce, or worse, an affair. Simply put, a marriage cannot be placed low on the priority list forever.

 

Talk to each other before it is too late. Marriage counseling might be another option you might want to consider.