DeDe_88 Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 I love my boyfriend. This is not a thread about how to leave him. He is 24 years old and I am almost 22 now. He has been experiencing some problems at work, finances related and he has gone under 2 surgeries lately...not serious ones just minor leg surgeries for his muscles...We have been dating for a little over an year now. First 6 months of our relationship, everything was just wonderful...we got along really well...we were both real considerate of eachothers' lives...we would never fight because we were very understanding towards eachother....it started off as a very sweet and mature at the same time relationship. But ever since he got back from iraq(he is in the military)...he has been completely whiny about his life....its been 6 months since he got back and he always complain about how I am not being a good girl friend and not supporting him in this hard time of his life where he is experiencing problems at work and has been sick for about 4 months now....Where as I on the other hand have been dedicating all my time to him because I am not working....I call him up in the morning and wake him up...I reply to his texts all day long...I stay awake with him in the night because thats the time we want to talk and thats the time his leg start to hurt so much that its almost unbearable.... I have been keeping all my issues to myself because he himself is loaded with his own and I dont want to trouble him any further...but when there are times I do bring up some of the issues I am experiencing in the relationship or outside of it....he tells me how I am being a needy and inconsiderate girl friend by telling him my problems I have with the relationship instead of comforting him....I tell him its been 6 freaking months since he has started to have problems with life how and when will i ever get a chance to talk about my problems and life?.....I try my level best to be there with him and give him my all but he has been very ungrateful about my effort in the relationship and has told me numerous times that I am impatient with his problematic life because there are times when i look tired of his issues, that I am selfish for bringing up my problems, that i am inconsiderate.....and because of all these issues, we often end up fighting....but then again i am the bad one because I am fighting with him when he is sick and mentally exhausted due to work issues....He is also very nice at times.....but not more then the amount of whining he does... How do i handle this situation?...
Serenitynow Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 Do you realize how no one has replied to your post ? Thats because they know its a waste of time. Anyone with any self worth would dump this guy. He doesnt care about anything that troubles you, its all about him. Either leave him, or live with all thats bothering you Theres no "learning how to deal" with what hes doing
TaraMaiden Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 yeah, I've been watching this thread, to see what someone else would say. (coward......!) The big problem is - I second the above post. Completely. Word for word. Heck, I coulda written it myself.
sjohnson Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 yeah, I've been watching this thread, to see what someone else would say. (coward......!) The big problem is - I second the above post. Completely. Word for word. Heck, I coulda written it myself. agreed :-)
harmfulsweetz Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 I agree with the above responses I'm afraid. You don't want to leave, sure, it's not a nice thought, but I ask you-what are you getting from this R? Support? Love? Guidance? An ear to listen to you when you're down? It doesn't sound like it at all. He's a taker, not a giver and as long as you stay, he will continue in the same vein. You're 22, as am I, you should be feeling fireworks not loaded with someone else's issues. It should be fun, not like this. You don't want to waste this time of your life on someone who will not change, (if he doesn't listen to you, how may he ever change? ) You don't learn to live with things like this, or handle it, you either put up and shut up, or you leave. I'm voting leave, but it's your call.
Serenitynow Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 I'm a guy, the women just all agree with me. Great minds think alike
Diezel Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 OP, you already resent him enough to not break your post into paragraphs. I don't care what he saw in Iraq, she shouldn't have to go through this emotional torture just because he did a tour of duty, and YES, I've dealt with the military life before. Yes, I know there are horrors, I know there are trials and tribulations, but he doesn't need to lay this on her and play victim. If you don't feel comfortable in this situation anymore, then cut it loose. Do you really want to deal with this for the rest of your life? Because trust me, it's NOT going to get any better anytime soon.
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