jen_r Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 ...or trust anymore. Actually, before my ex, I never believe they exsisted to begin with. I've never loved anyone like this before and I never trusted or fully gave myself (body & mind) to someone like this before. What are the point of relationships if one person is always going to get severly damaged in the end? I mean, I am broken. I will never be the person I used to be. I'll never be the person I was while I was with him. Happy, carefree, loved, loving, trusting, safe, etc. I feel so betrayed, scared, stupid, and worthless. The person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, has made me feel this way. How am I supposed to move on and get involved in new relationships when I will never trust the same again, I will never love the same again and any man I end up with will not be the man I truly wanted. This feeling is quite awful and I would honestly never want to experience "love" again if there is a possibility for it to feel like this again. Uncontrollable pain. Why put ourselves through such torture? Why is it so easy for our SO's to move on and not care that we loved them so much, adored them, and wanted to spend our lives with them? It literally blows my mind.
fedupfeelinglikethis Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 I have felt exactly the same, the girl i was sure i wanted to spend the rest of my life with ended it out of the blue and moved on while i was still grieving. I dont really know your story but what i will say is that if you where with the guy for a few years and he moved on after a couple of months into another relationship is that he has issues with being by himself so i wouldnt think to much about it. You will find love again. time is a great healer, think about how you felt when the breakup first happened then how you felt a couple of weeks later then a couple of weeks after that. it might not have gone away but it gets better. love is one of the greatest things we can experience and you know it is because if it wasnt how could it make you feel so bad when its gone? remember if there was no sadness you would have no joy. I havnt moved on yet from my last relationship, i have thought the same things you have. how can i love someone again if it could just end like this? but the thing to remember is you dont choose who you love, you fall in love. one day you will meet someone, it might not be the next relationship or the one after but one day you will fall in love again and when that happens you wont be thinking about the pain it can cause you will be thinking about the joy it brings. take care of yourself and keep your chin up x
Author jen_r Posted June 21, 2010 Author Posted June 21, 2010 I dont really know your story but what i will say is that if you where with the guy for a few years and he moved on after a couple of months into another relationship is that he has issues with being by himself so i wouldnt think to much about it. You will find love again. time is a great healer, think about how you felt when the breakup first happened then how you felt a couple of weeks later then a couple of weeks after that. it might not have gone away but it gets better. love is one of the greatest things we can experience and you know it is because if it wasnt how could it make you feel so bad when its gone? remember if there was no sadness you would have no joy. I havnt moved on yet from my last relationship, i have thought the same things you have. how can i love someone again if it could just end like this? but the thing to remember is you dont choose who you love, you fall in love. one day you will meet someone, it might not be the next relationship or the one after but one day you will fall in love again and when that happens you wont be thinking about the pain it can cause you will be thinking about the joy it brings. I was with him for 2 years. He hasn't moved on but I know he is one to jump from relationship to relationship. I, however, am nothing like that. I was single for 5 years before him because I didn't want to aimlessly date someone for the hell of it. I waited until I found someone who lit up my life in every sense of the word. I was afraid of getting involved with someone, I had somewhat of commitment phobia - but with him I had no fears, I jut fell hard and fast in love. I regret it. I know time heals all and I know there are so many other guys in the world. But it doesn't mean any of them are right for me, I found my ex and fell in love with him for a reason. I dunno...I am so lost right now and my mind is going in circles.
fedupfeelinglikethis Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 but why do you regret it? you regret it because its over and your feeling like crap but your feeling so bad because you felt so good. dont think about the pain your feeling now but look back at the time you had together would you really not want to of had that time? not to have felt the way you did? the feelings your having now are going to pass and each day you will get better but you will have always experienced the great feeling of love and theres nothing like that.
fedupfeelinglikethis Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 sorry was ment to ask how long has the break up been? and also wanted to say you should be a bit more open to seeing people 5 years is a long time. even if its just going out with friends and talking to a few random guys and having a couple of dates and see how things go. dont look for love it will find you, and remember every relationship doesnt have to work just the last 1.
TouchedByViolet Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 Jen, it is the human experience. Life can be wonderful, and life can be very sad. When going from the former to the latter it can be a shocker, especially when you feel like you have done your best and feel you deserve better. Spend time with friends and those you like, don't think about everything that has happened, rather let the emotions come and go as they need to. Learning to move forward is the most undervalued skill.
Author jen_r Posted June 21, 2010 Author Posted June 21, 2010 sorry was ment to ask how long has the break up been? and also wanted to say you should be a bit more open to seeing people 5 years is a long time. even if its just going out with friends and talking to a few random guys and having a couple of dates and see how things go. dont look for love it will find you, and remember every relationship doesnt have to work just the last 1. We had broken up in February, got back together in April and he just finalized the break up last week. With a "Thats IT, I'm done, I AM DONE" "Accept that this is reality, its happening, grow up and get over it" and then I was flat out ignored. As far as just "dating" guys...I can't do it. It's not how I function...I'm very guarded and cautious - because I personally don't like men haha. Sorry. Jen, it is the human experience. Life can be wonderful, and life can be very sad. When going from the former to the latter it can be a shocker, especially when you feel like you have done your best and feel you deserve better. Spend time with friends and those you like, don't think about everything that has happened, rather let the emotions come and go as they need to. Learning to move forward is the most undervalued skill. I know, my ex has actually used these words while breaking up with me "Jen, everyone gets a broken heart once in their life, you have to deal with it. Act like an adult and figure out how you can move on." Which, needless to say I got extremely mad about. Everyone gets a broken heart, yeah...did I expect you to do it to me? No. I dunno....
Art_Critic Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 You will feel all that again with someone else.. Heartbreak isn't easy and we all have been thru exactly the same feelings you have.. My signature is something I firmly believe in...
skydiveaddict Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 Why put ourselves through such torture? Why is it so easy for our SO's to move on and not care that we loved them so much, adored them, and wanted to spend our lives with them? It literally blows my mind. Exactly. well said I dont believe in love anymore either
Author jen_r Posted June 21, 2010 Author Posted June 21, 2010 Yeah, the thing is -I didn't believe in love before. I feel stupid for thinking I had found it. And I miss whatever the feeling was that I had with my ex. Ugh, I wish I could either rewind time or fast forward it, anything to get out of this..
skydiveaddict Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 Ugh, I wish I could either rewind time or fast forward it, anything to get out of this.. I know how you feel. but only time will heal you, you must be patient
AlwaysConflicted Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 (edited) I feel this pain too. Strength in numbers. Posting on this site helps me. Edited June 22, 2010 by AlwaysConflicted
LoveTruthChaos Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 Ugh, I wish I could either rewind time or fast forward it, anything to get out of this.. I love this quote...I'm so there right now. Although, in all honesty, I would choose to fast forward
sedgwick Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 It literally blows my mind. If something LITERALLY blows your mind, your brain has come out of your head, which means you can't post. (Sorry, pet grammatical peeve!!!!) That said, I hear you. I'll never trust again either, and after three years, I'm still a very damaged person, completely different from who I was when I met him. I wish I had an answer for you, but all I can do is commiserate!
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