123BeachFan Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 I've been seeing a guy for about 5 months now. Things went south about a month ago when I caught him on an online website. He hit on a friend of mine, giving her his phone number and email address and said he wasn't in a relationship. We were well established as an exclusive couple by that point. And, a few days before, he was an hour late meeting me because he was out at happy hour with the guys (but he was wearing his best Date outfit when he finally showed up to see me). Anyhow, I agreed to give him a second chance at that point (a month ago), and I've lived to regret it. He hasn't made any efforts to get us back on track, and instead he's become even more emotionally distant, evasive about his time, and in general spends less time with me (getting together, phone calls, emails). Twice now (last week and two weeks before) I've tried to really break up over the phone. He counters with his side of the story, and tries to logically deflect my reasons for breaking up. He convinces me that he'll change and I believe him, and then nothing changes whatsoever. But now I'm finally fed up to the point that I don't want to give any more 2nd chances. I don't want another conversation to break up because I don't feel like having to defend my position. My question is this: He's been given enough advance notice. Can I just go NC? Do I really have to have that conversation again? I don't feel I owe him any more explanation, I feel like a broken record. Any advice?
ALombard Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 Just keep it short and simple. Call him and say, " I think we should break up and here's why...." and don't let him interject. If he tries just say, " Stop, there's no more excuses. I've talked to you about this, gave you a chance and now I can't do it anymore." BOOM! That's it. Don't say anything that starts with the phrases, "Maybe in the future..." or " Just right now...". Say nothing to him that will put false hope, or any hope for that matter into his mind. Also, don't just go NC. That's used more for as a coping mechanism not a break-up one. It shows that you have literally no respect for him which is messed up.
Green Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 I think just going NC would be a mistake because it gives him more of an oportunity to act confused and just show up at your place or what ever. I think that you should go to his place (THAT WAY YOU CAN LEAVE) and just tell him things arn't working out and you arn't happy and that you guys are OVER. then just leave and go NC
Author 123BeachFan Posted June 21, 2010 Author Posted June 21, 2010 Just keep it short and simple. Call him and say, " I think we should break up and here's why...." and don't let him interject. If he tries just say, " Stop, there's no more excuses. I've talked to you about this, gave you a chance and now I can't do it anymore." Thanks ALombard. I was on here reading your post, when the phone rang...it was HIM after three days of not hearing more than a random text from him. So, I took a deep breath and did it how you recommended. He said okay, didn't argue his point, and that was that. I'm super sad things didn't work out, but relieved that I got that conversation over and behind me.
LoveTruthChaos Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 YAYYYY!!!!! Now you can find someone who's never gonna let you go
Green Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 Thanks ALombard. I was on here reading your post, when the phone rang...it was HIM after three days of not hearing more than a random text from him. So, I took a deep breath and did it how you recommended. He said okay, didn't argue his point, and that was that. I'm super sad things didn't work out, but relieved that I got that conversation over and behind me. Now thats what I call a quick UPDATE. Just remember theres a chance he will try to call you/see you again maybe it won't be today/ maybe it won't be tommorow but He will probably try to get you again... BE STRONG REMEMBER WHY YOU LEFT HIM.
Author 123BeachFan Posted June 21, 2010 Author Posted June 21, 2010 Just remember theres a chance he will try to call you/see you again maybe it won't be today/ maybe it won't be tommorow but He will probably try to get you again... BE STRONG REMEMBER WHY YOU LEFT HIM. Hey Green. No kidding, his timing was impeccable! His trick in the past has been to give me a couple of days to "chill out" and then call and try and work his way back. So yeah, I won't be surprised if I hear from him in the near future acting like we're all patched up. I have to remind myself, the relationship lacked trust, love, security, and commitment. Some pretty big things. So, there's no benefit to going back, just need to move on.
paleblue Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 123 I don’t blame you for wanting to ditch this one. its only 5 months and he is already cruising the internet for your replacement. See ya boy
Recommended Posts