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going to see my ex this weekend and feeling nervous

fedupfeelinglikethis

By fedupfeelinglikethis
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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fedupfeelinglikethis Member

fedupfeelinglikethis

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this is not a date, i havnt spoke to her about it infact ive had NC for about 2 months. basically her friends are the girls i grew up with from high school and my friends are the boys they grew up with and we have all been connected since either threw relationships or being siblings . any way next weekend is one of there birthdays and i have been asked several times of 3 of them to make sure im out and have been told her new boyfriend will not be out for sure. well im looking forward to seeing her alot, i still think about her often and wish things could have turned out different between us. Although im hoping something might happen between us im not expecting any thing to. Im not going to ignore her i would love just to have a good chat with her, i know it will be awkward at first but it will only be the second time ive seen her since we split and for someone i spoke to every day for 2 years its a very long time. also im not going to be all over her, i will do my best to play it cool.

 

but i really dont know how im going to feel when i see her, i know im going to be happy but i think i might feel sick at the same time. This girl broke my heart and 4 months later im still not over her. any advice people????

ALombard Established Member

ALombard

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Don't go! Plain and simple, if you have any doubts in your mind that the night might go bad then don't go. Meet up with your friends another day or later that night when she won't be around.

 

If you're not over her you won't have fun. TRUST ME ON THIS!

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fedupfeelinglikethis Member

fedupfeelinglikethis

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deep down no im not over her, but im going and will try and have a good night. all my friends will be there so its not like we will have to be around each other all night. the way im looking at it is best case scenario is that we just click and forget about the break up and have a laugh like we used to and something may happen as the night goes on. worst case is that the akwardnes gets the better of us both and we dont have anything to say. but either way yes it will be hard, yes the next day i will be thinking of her more than usual.

 

but 1 thing is i want her to see me, since we split ive lost about 2 stone and got tonned! im looking good and feeling good about myself. i want her to see that i dont need her and that im a different person from the one she split up with....a better person, im stronger mentaly and physicaly, im focused on what i want from life. I have to say since we split up im 100% a better person i even quit smoking 2 months ago. and even if nothing happens i want her to see this.

ALombard Established Member

ALombard

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Yeah see the thing is though is there's your problem.

 

It really shouldn't matter to you what she thinks about you. I mean since my break up I've gotten into incredible shape and yet I don't really care if my ex sees me like this or not. You know why because she is my ex, it doesn't matter to me.

 

I think that deep down you think that by her seeing you like you are now that she may think she made a mistake and will beg to take you back.

 

You don't need to talk to your ex or even be in the same room if it is avoidable.

 

I ran into my ex at a bar a few weeks ago and I just ignored her and left. Not because it hurt too much but because I knew that if we were to talk nothing good would come from it.

 

But have fun man, keep me updated on how that night goes. Best of luck.

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fedupfeelinglikethis Member

fedupfeelinglikethis

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no i dont think that, if was all that simple we wouldnt have broken up but i do want her to see me looking good, i dont know why i just do. and the thing is when u say u dont have any need to talk to your ex if you see her i dont feel like that. i was with this girl for 2 years of my life and because of that we have a special connection and a deep friendship, im always going to care about her and hope she is doing well and if i do see her just walking down the street i would stop and talk to her. i mean my last real relationship i was with a girl for 4 years and if i ever see her when we are out we usualy end up spending the whole night talking because we have that connection (obviously now that my ex is my ex now), i mean u dont spen that long with someone if your not on the same wave lengnth. i mean she really helped me when i i was down about my last break up, where like best friends and if we need eah other we are still there for one another.

 

any way i will post back after ive seen her and let u know how it went. the night is not about seeing my ex its about having a good time and seeing friends.

Div Established Member

Div

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Looking forward to see how it went for you.

I saw my ex on the weekend at a party, we didn't talk or even make eye contact really.

StarrySkyBlue Established Member

StarrySkyBlue

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I can speak from experience that seeing your ex again "as friends" would probably just make you feel worse afterward. But I did it because I felt it was something I had to do. Stupid decision, yes. But that's just part of it, and now looking back I don't regret it at all, really.

 

So good luck to you and hope you have a great night out!

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fedupfeelinglikethis Member

fedupfeelinglikethis

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well i seen her. we said hello and and asked how each other was doing and that was it. she seemed a bit awkward so we kept it short, i went back inside and then she left like 10 minutes later without saying a word to any of her friends. can any 1 tell me why she would do that? is it really that bad for me to be in the same place as her? i know she would have been looking forward to that night for a long time and for her just to cut it short seemed strange.

 

any way i had a good night and she didnt get to me that much yes i was a bit dissapointed that we didnt talk for longer and she left straight away oh and yes i did wake up thinking about her. but all in all i dont regret doing it.

habs53 Established Member

habs53

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well i seen her. we said hello and and asked how each other was doing and that was it. she seemed a bit awkward so we kept it short, i went back inside and then she left like 10 minutes later without saying a word to any of her friends. can any 1 tell me why she would do that? is it really that bad for me to be in the same place as her? i know she would have been looking forward to that night for a long time and for her just to cut it short seemed strange.

 

any way i had a good night and she didnt get to me that much yes i was a bit dissapointed that we didnt talk for longer and she left straight away oh and yes i did wake up thinking about her. but all in all i dont regret doing it.

If she left that quick, i think she still has feelings for you. You made her uncomfortable about her decision and she had to go before she reacted.

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fedupfeelinglikethis Member

fedupfeelinglikethis

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do you really think she still has feelings for me? if she does why wouldnt she want to act on them rather than just leave? is there anything i should do or just keep up with the NC?

StarrySkyBlue Established Member

StarrySkyBlue

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Keep up the NC! Her behavior could have meant anything. Things do get a bit awkward after you break up, so she might have left because she was feeling uncomfortable and didn't know how to behave around you.

brokendream Established Member

brokendream

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Yes I agree. It is an awkward situation so she might have felt uncomfortable. If she does have feelings for you let her be the one to contact you.

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fedupfeelinglikethis Member

fedupfeelinglikethis

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yeah i guess your right, still cant understand how she could feel that awkward tho when i was actually happy to see her. kind of want to give her a call and clear the air so if we do see each other again (and there is a good chance of that) it wont be as awkward. to me she was such a big part of my life for 2 years and even if where not together when i see her i would like to be able to have a conversation with her.

Notsogood Established Member

Notsogood

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yeah i guess your right, still cant understand how she could feel that awkward tho when i was actually happy to see her. kind of want to give her a call and clear the air so if we do see each other again (and there is a good chance of that) it wont be as awkward. to me she was such a big part of my life for 2 years and even if where not together when i see her i would like to be able to have a conversation with her.

 

Sorry dude but this has to be said. You are falling into a trap and are going to destroy all the NC you have done so far. I can see where you're headed just by reading your posts - Denial to "Just wanna be friends" to "I should call her to clear the air". Not a good sign but I guess you have set your path already.

 

However, I am in the belief that no matter what you do, break NC or continue NC, you will at least learn from it and be stronger.

 

Good luck!

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fedupfeelinglikethis Member

fedupfeelinglikethis

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where am i in denial? look the thing is im no tlike alot of people on this site i actually care about all the ex's ive had serious relationships with. because to me when you have a serious relationship u make a strong bond with that person. i consider 3 woman who ive gone out with serious, the 1st was for 4 years and when ever i see her we get on great just like best friends, the 2nd was for a year and i have kept in contact with her and even meeting up next week the only reason i havnt seen her since we split up is because she lived in a different country then a different part of england to me. now this last one who i went out with for 2 years, yes she broke my heart and yes imstill not 100% over her but we have the same group of friends and we have had for years so there are going to be times when i see her and the last thing i want is for it to be that awkward for her when we do.

 

i was just about to send her a text when i checked onhere so this is what it says,let me know what you think.

 

hi hope your ok, just about the other night. i know its going to be a bit awkward when we see each other but it shouldnt be that bad. when i said hi u looked like u wanted to run away then u basically did, i felt really bad because i know u would have been looking forward to that night. dont know why u feel like that when u never had a problem speaking to **** or ***** after you had split up with them, so why is it different with me? theres going to be times when we see each other so lets not be daft about it ****, we can still be friends.

 

would it really be that bad to send that message?

ahashakeheartbreak Member

ahashakeheartbreak

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Actually, a lot of people on this site care about their exes. That's why they are on here, because losing them hurt badly...so, sorry to say, you're not any different.

 

And, sending that text, let's be honest, is for you. Not for her. Deep down, you know this. You're upset about losing her, it's not an action entirely out of selflessness. DON'T SEND IT. If she wanted to talk to you, she would do it herself dude. Trust me.

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