AttillatheHun Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 Another issue to add to a thread of never-ending relationship issues. Not sure if it is an issue per se, but need somewhere to rant. Me and my gf have been together for almost a year. We've had our ups and downs. She has big insecurity issues that she's been trying to overcome. They are usually conjectural threats that she creates in her head based on no real facts. It probably has something to do with the fact that she has been in a few relationships that haven't worked out so well, and hence she is naturally distrusting of men and people in general. However we do love each other, are very compatible in personality, and can see a future. Currently we are both university students, both near towards the end of our degrees. My issue is this- every time she seems to get stressed, whether it be over workplace issues or issues of study or issues completely unrelated to us, it affects everything else. And when she gets stressed, she'll call me and ask about something that happened MONTHS ago. Often it will be something I said during a fight or argument that has already been resolved or put behind us. Most often, the conversation will go like this- ME: Hi, how are you going? GF: Yeah ok. (very flat in tone) ME: You don't sound very happy, what's up? GF: Oh im just stressed about study and this essay. ME: Oh ok. Do you want to talk about it? GF: No. ME: You sure? GF: Why did you say, a couple of months ago, 'this this and that, etc' (very accusative and bitter tone) ME: Oh for crying out loud, why are you bringing that up? etc GF: I remember you saying 'this this and that'. She does it so often, its gotten to the point where I just hang up. Most of the time, she brings up issues that have already been resolved or put behind us. Its as if every time she gets stressed, she gets extremely negative about the relationship and everything else, and she'll make a massive issue out of nothing just to have a go at me. Its really annoying and pissing me off. Granted, we have had our fair share of silly fights wherein both parties were no more at fault than the other. So I guess my question is, why does she do this? Maybe someone could help put it into perspective for me? I have often thought she unintentionally goes into self-sabotage mode every time she gets stressed, because she has been conditioned over time in regards to the respect that the relationship will inevitably not work out as a result of her being betrayed. Even though I have done nothing to make her distrust me. End of rant.
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