justmeandyou Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 (edited) I have been with my partner on and off your over 10years. I moved out about a 1 ½ ago – we became good friends and decided to give it another chance – why? Promises, Promises. My partner is the nicest man, he is loyal and does anything , almost anything to keep me happy. A great Dad and a great provider. On the outside it looks perfect I know– in my heart its not. You see I moved out because I found some pictures that he had hidden – pictures that exposed him as a peeping tom. He took pictures of unsuspecting women on beaches from behind bushes etc. Nothing of women in houses or anything like that but at the end of the day pictures are pictures. It was from early on in out relationship – I never suspected a thing – however he always hid stuff – financial stuff from me like 8 bank accounts– even though we share a child and a house, everything to do with finances are kept well away from me and over the years anything he thinks are kept away from me too We never got married – the gave me a ring once and his words were “here you go this is what you want”. Never please “marry me?”. We never really got very far when talking about planning a wedding. We still don’t – I have been back for 6 months now – he says he wants to get married wants to save up for a great ring ( doing lots of renos on the house lately) but that’s as far as it goes. Always He seemed to have it all great job, great car great on paper – but he was always really quiet. I am not. I love to have friends around me – when I am with him, I don’t. I don’t believe he would resort to taking photos of other women – but I cant really seem to move on from that either. Intimately I don’t like having sex with him – its bad, he does not really try and please me too much. Its over when he is over. I don’t enjoy kissing him either – also not really good either. But I am attracted to him I am with someone who is caring, loyal, very supportive and good provider, good father and someone who never fights – and never wants to loose me so then if sex is the only thing not good – is it really that bad. I find him boring and often negative and I don’t like it rubbing off on me because I am bubbly and love life. I often thought it’s a necessary balance, introvert and extrovert. I just want to be happy and at the moment im not. Im lost Edited June 21, 2010 by justmeandyou
xxoo Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 I am with someone who is caring, loyal, very supportive and good provider, good father and someone who never fights – and never wants to loose me so then if sex is the only thing not good – is it really that bad. But it's not the only thing: ----You see I moved out because I found some pictures that he had hidden – pictures that exposed him as a peeping tom. ----he always hid stuff – financial stuff from me like 8 bank accounts– even though we share a child and a house, everything to do with finances are kept well away from me and over the years anything he thinks are kept away from me too ----We never got married – the gave me a ring once and his words were “here you go this is what you want”. Never please “marry me?”. ----I find him boring and often negative and I don’t like it rubbing off on me because I am bubbly and love life. Honestly, the peeping tom stuff would have been a dealbreaker for me. That is creepy. And, I'd be worried about that kind of behavior escalating over the years Keeping financial things from you is another HUGE issue. The marriage, personality, and sex issues seem like small things compared to these two. Your post seems conflicted. Is he really a nice guy? Nice guys don't hide things from their partners. Nice guys don't take creepy photos of unconsenting women Nice guys are considerate in bed. It sounds to me like he only shows you part of who he is. He shows you the "nice guy", but is attempting to hide the "real" person beneath the surface. If his actions differ from his words (promises), always believe his actions. He says all the right words, but he hasn't married you (thank goodness, imo!), he hides things, he doesn't try to please you in bed, and he may be continuing (and hiding) his peeping tom hobby. Not so nice
Recommended Posts