Author Motto Posted July 6, 2010 Author Posted July 6, 2010 Wow. I don't see this as flirting at all. I see it as her trying to talk you in to signing up. And you fell for it by thinking she wanted to marry you. What did I fall for? Im the one whos 99% sure shes not coming onto me. Everyone else here says she is.
Author Motto Posted July 8, 2010 Author Posted July 8, 2010 I'm gonna see what my co-workers think too
Trimmer Posted July 12, 2010 Posted July 12, 2010 (edited) Lets say I gave this girl my e-mail. Now, for work, you punch in the e-mails into the computer and then throw out the sheet. I wouldve been getting e-mails from WORK, not HER. and is she really gonna take an e-mail from work and then e-mail me something? Put it this way: If you had gone along and flirted a bit with her, and given her your Email, then you at least had a half-a-chance that she was (gasp) actually being straight with you and really interested. But by shutting her down at several opportunities (ones that she served up, no less) you guaranteed there's no chance she will remain interested. If you wait until a girl's interest is plain and obvious and no-risk, you'll be waiting a very long time. Go with the flow, engage in a little give and take, and move on and let it roll off your back if it doesn't work out. What would have been wrong with giving her your Email on the slip of paper, and teasing her with a grin and something like "Yeah well, we'll see if I get a real Email from you, or a junk Email advertisement from <YourStore.com>" Then you're challenging her (in a teasing way) to step up, and signalling that you would be receptive if she really was interested, but also insulating yourself (if you must) with the "junk Email" comment. Throwing the ball back in her court, and by doing so, letting her know that you're playing ball. Or heck, if you're feeling bold (and you don't sound particularly bold, but...) take TWO slips, write your Email on both, and say "Here's one for your credit, and one for you, just in case you lose the store one gets thrown away..." Now this one has a little less insulation on it - you're basically saying that you think she's being serious, or else you have to SELL IT, SELL IT, SELL IT, with confidence so that even if maybe she wasn't quite serious, suddenly she realizes that you are... But again, maybe she wasn't really interested, and you have to be able to walk away with your ego intact if not. Some kinds of responses like that would have given you at least a non-zero shot at finding out if she was really interested. Tearing up the Email slip guarantees that your shot was ZERO. Which sounds better? Wayne Gretzky: You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Edited July 12, 2010 by Trimmer
Author Motto Posted July 12, 2010 Author Posted July 12, 2010 Put it this way: If you had gone along and flirted a bit with her, and given her your Email, then you at least had a half-a-chance that she was (gasp) actually being straight with you and really interested. But by shutting her down at several opportunities (ones that she served up, no less) you guaranteed there's no chance she will remain interested. If you wait until a girl's interest is plain and obvious and no-risk, you'll be waiting a very long time. Go with the flow, engage in a little give and take, and move on and let it roll off your back if it doesn't work out. What would have been wrong with giving her your Email on the slip of paper, and teasing her with a grin and something like "Yeah well, we'll see if I get a real Email from you, or a junk Email advertisement from <YourStore.com>" Then you're challenging her (in a teasing way) to step up, and signalling that you would be receptive if she really was interested, but also insulating yourself (if you must) with the "junk Email" comment. Throwing the ball back in her court, and by doing so, letting her know that you're playing ball. Or heck, if you're feeling bold (and you don't sound particularly bold, but...) take TWO slips, write your Email on both, and say "Here's one for your credit, and one for you, just in case you lose the store one gets thrown away..." Now this one has a little less insulation on it - you're basically saying that you think she's being serious, or else you have to SELL IT, SELL IT, SELL IT, with confidence so that even if maybe she wasn't quite serious, suddenly she realizes that you are... But again, maybe she wasn't really interested, and you have to be able to walk away with your ego intact if not. Some kinds of responses like that would have given you at least a non-zero shot at finding out if she was really interested. Tearing up the Email slip guarantees that your shot was ZERO. Which sounds better? Wayne Gretzky: You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Well you cant blame me for being thrown off by a girl who is actually up front or isnt afraid to say whats on her mind. This whole thing went down at work when things are extremely routine. I have only worked with her twice since this incident and I think I work with her this week. No idea what to do now. You still didnt really answer my hypothetical though. Say I gave her my email, its for work, am I to expect an email from her? (who the hell uses email these days?) Me assuming that she is flirting to sell something is not a far gone concept. Women flirt to sell things all the time.
Trimmer Posted July 12, 2010 Posted July 12, 2010 (edited) Well you cant blame me for being thrown off by a girl who is actually up front or isnt afraid to say whats on her mind. My advice: don't be thrown off by ANYTHING. And while we guys often enough complain about how opaque and hard to understand women can be, then when you are presented with one who is upfront and speaks directly, shouldn't you be especially ready not to let slip through your fingers the opportunity to act, and interact? Dude, do you realize how it sounds to use "she was direct with me and that threw me off..." as an excuse?!?!? You still didnt really answer my hypothetical though. Say I gave her my email, its for work, am I to expect an email from her? (who the hell uses email these days?) Sure I did: Go with the flow, engage in a little give and take, and move on and let it roll off your back if it doesn't work out. You are getting all twisted up over whether she would use Email, over what you should be expecting. There's no telling, but you have to take the first step by engaging when an opportunity comes along. You still sound like you are trying to talk yourself OUT of it... "I don't know what to expect..." ... nobody ever does: human beings are not deterministic. Don't expect: discover. But unless you participate, you won't discover anything. "she may be flirting to sell something..." ...then enjoy the flirt in the moment, and move on. "who uses Email, anyway?" ... a girl who has been looking for a way to get your attention, and suddenly has a chance that presents itself. How many ways are you trying to talk yourself out of it? Although I will grant: if you absolutely need to know "what to expect", then you did the right thing, so that you will know with fair certainty that you can expect nothing in return. That's one way to have control of your life, I suppose... I can't guarantee you she was interested - yes, it is possible that she was just flirting for credits. But it's when you are willing to jump in, take a little risk, and not know exactly "what to expect" that you will start expanding your envelope and maybe some of those opportunities - those unknowns - will start turning up your way. Edited July 12, 2010 by Trimmer
Author Motto Posted July 15, 2010 Author Posted July 15, 2010 Alright well tonight I worked with her and I dont think she realized I was working cause when I saw her she did a double take. Then at the end of the night I had to help her out and she was really nice to me. I also made her laugh over the phone at work when I needed something too. Am I still in the game or what?
Author Motto Posted July 18, 2010 Author Posted July 18, 2010 Worked with her tonight. Shes leaving this job in about a week for another one. **** it.
Author Motto Posted July 18, 2010 Author Posted July 18, 2010 Shes 21 and has a KID anyway. **** that ****.
Krytie TV Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 Why are you still on this? You needed to move on weeks ago.
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