confusedhurtdude Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 My ex and I officially broke up three weeks ago. We broke up because of an incident she got herself into at a party one night after we had been fighting that previous day. She didn't cheat, but she kissed a guy, and nearly got herself into a bad situation. I freaked out, and we broke up, and were fighting for a week pretty harshly. We haven't stopped communication officially yet, and I know that was my first mistake, and we have been fighting on and off constantly. We have been back to good with her saying she misses me, and then rock bottom, and then back to good, and now I think I have hit rock bottom for the last time. The course of the last week has gone like this: Last Saturday: We were doing great, and she was saying how she wanted to see me really bad and loves me still. Sunday, we fought because I got jealous of all of the numerous guys she has been talking to since our breakup. She hasn't had sex with any of them, but she is just wanting attention, and I'm getting jealous. One of these guys had been calling her every night, and she admitted they were flirting..I exchanged some nasty words, and it has gone downhill since. Monday: We didn't talk Tuesday: I apologized, but for some reason was still not able to give her space like I should have. Wednesday: This is the bad day...We had a deep conversation this day followed by more fighting and harsh words said by jealous me...That night she randomly started talking to some guy on Facebook that added her that same night, whom she had never met. She talked to him all night, and then went and hung out with him for many hours, dipping out on our conversation. Thursday: She hung out with this guy AGAIN, going to a movie with him. I know too much, and she admitted to me that they kissed...and not just a single kiss.. Friday: We talked, and she was telling me to just get over it, give her space, and that she is just looking for a friend with this guy. I told her I don't believe it, and that she is hurting me, and I in turn hurt her with some stupid words. Made her cry, I'm not going to lie... Saturday: I typed out a DEEP apology letter to her, and after reading it she called me on the phone crying, but saying how we can never even be friends again because of the way things had gone the last few days, and that she never wants to talk to me again. That night we didn't talk, but I noticed on her Twitter that she was hanging out with this guy AGAIN. Today: I asked her what she did last night, and she got pissed and turned her phone off ignoring me...So when she finally did talk to me, of course I assumed the worst about the night, as well I should have, and was a dick to her. She told me they watched a movie, they made out, flirted a lot, she got on top of him, but no sex ever happened. I guess they just stopped, because she didn't feel right...But, she stayed the night at this guy's house...A guy she met on the internet no more than a few days earlier... After she told me all of this, I said some things that lead to us both saying how we never want to talk to eachother again, and she will never forgive me, and I told her how I will never respect her again. She says she is completely over me and is moving on. I don't believe it, but I feel like I have lost touch with her almost completely now, and she is filling the void with this guy. Anyways, I KNOW I need to stop caring, and looking at her twitter, but she has posted up how she is hanging out with this guy AGAIN!! So they are hanging out for the 4th time in 5 days. The guy made a comment "I told her we are gonna move forward and forget the last and her past" She replied, "AWW that's so sweeet!" So, they've known eachother less than a week, and they are already acting cute together, and acting as if they're going to start a relationship. Even though she told the guy she just wanted to be friends, and told me that's what she wanted... I know this was a long story, but I am desperate...I really really do love this girl. We have been officially together for about 8 months, but were best friends before that, and we met during a time in our lives with a lot of change. We share ALOT of good memories together, and never fought before 3 weeks ago. But, now I feel like I've lost touch with her completely. It makes me sick to watch her be happy with some other guy, especially one she has known for 5 days. What do I do? Is it over for good? I feel like I pushed WAY too far... And sorry this is also in Second chances, but I feel like it belongs here.
LoveTruthChaos Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 Start NC immediately, and assume that your NC will last forever. Rebounds are rubbish (I hope - since my ex is in one now), and you know what? She made her bed, now she has to lie in it. This is her fate, and NC is yours. Nothing good comes from trying to twist the hands of fate. Nothing. There are lessons in all of this for BOTH of you to learn. Whatever is happening is MEANT TO BE. Don't screw up the lesson! Best of luck - NC!
Username37 Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 Oh gosh. My old flame is hooking up with some guy, I guess that's a rebound. Go NC. I just started a few days ago. Let her be and live your life. Good lucky buddy EDIT: Just because she's in a new relationship or hooking up right away doesn't mean she's completely over you.
Author confusedhurtdude Posted June 22, 2010 Author Posted June 22, 2010 I haven't contacted her for a day...Which is the first day in a year that we haven't talked to eachother. It's been hard. I still can't help but look at her twitter though...And she said something to the effect of "I think I really like him, is this good or bad?" - in reference to the new guy she has been seeing for literally FIVE DAYS. But, I was immature and desperate and said a lot of stupid things to her over the last few weeks of the breakup, and as of yesterday she seemed to completely not give a **** anymore about me, and is really into this guy. Is she just jumping into something crazy that will fail? Do I still have a chance?
Username37 Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 (edited) I haven't contacted her for a day...Which is the first day in a year that we haven't talked to eachother. It's been hard. I still can't help but look at her twitter though...And she said something to the effect of "I think I really like him, is this good or bad?" - in reference to the new guy she has been seeing for literally FIVE DAYS. But, I was immature and desperate and said a lot of stupid things to her over the last few weeks of the breakup, and as of yesterday she seemed to completely not give a **** anymore about me, and is really into this guy. Is she just jumping into something crazy that will fail? Do I still have a chance? Fight it man. By looking at her twitter/facebook/myspace, it will only cause more pain. She'll keep on posting stuff about her having fun and upload pictures of her at some party and it will be painful. She's on the rebound dude, most rebounds do fail. Let her be with this new dude. His true colors will show in a month or two and she'll be comparing you with him, so you will get the one up. She's using this guy as a bandage because she's in pain and is missing the boyfriend feeling. Just keep a distance, be mature about it, and once the relationship breaks, just step in, be the shoulder to cry on, and boom. Hopefully this works. It's not 100% guaranteed but it can show your ex how mature you are and stuff Good luck to you. EDIT: Work on yourself. Get fit and a haircut. So when your ex sees you, you'll be a whole new person. Edited June 22, 2010 by Username37
heavensmesenger Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 Go NC and do it now! Fight the urge to do more damage to yourself. I wish I'd have gone NC when my ex broke up with me. It would have saved me so much pain and disappointment. 6 weeks later and i'm no better then the day we broke up, yes we saw each other every week and even got physical on the past weekend but she still wants her new boyfriend. All I did was push her further into his arms. Trust me go NC. Don't accept anything from her if she asks you how you are ignore it. The only time you should ever respond is when she says "I've made a mistake I want you, let's work on us etc." But then ask yourself will it be worth it? Of course she's going to post all these things on twitter, she wants you to see how happy she is and what you missed out on and she hopes to get a reaction from it. I guess its working and truth be told it probably is a rebound but don't give her the satisfaction in knowing it bothers you.
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