SummerLady Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 Ok, Need to get feedback on this. Went to my dad's today for Father's day, my one neighbor I grew up with came home to see his dad as well. We were always platonic friends, we grew up together and have known each other forever. He is mid 40's so a couple years older. We always kept in touch through other neighbors and classmates ect.. Ok I am getting to the point. He has been divorced for about 7 years. I know all the details, as he told me himself. Basically they never got along, always fought, so after the birth of their 2nd daughter he put in for a divorce. His ex wife I don't know as well, met her a handful of times. Anyway, he obviously knows I am divorced, my divorce was ugly, court and all, and my ex did not want the divorce so he fought about everything and anything. For those of you that don't remember my story, he cheated and got caught, end of story. So back to my friend, he knows my divorce was hard so he asks me so how is it going now with ex and I say it has gotten better but he has his moments, we have had this coversation before, and he says yeah I am lucky me and my ex break up was better, we were more like friends at the end and even now. Well he has said this and emailed this to me a lot. It makes me mad as its total BULLSHT!!! His ex does not know he cheated on him prior to asking for a divorce PLUS after his relationships would end POST divorce and he was lonley or misreable he would get back together with her and then when someone better came along he dumped her again. Now he is in a serious realtionship talking marriage and his ex has no idea, now I know its NONE of her business but since they gone back and forth for the past 7 years, she calls him last week stating she wants to get back with him. he was like NO WAY we are over. This time I know he is serious about this new girlfriend, whom I did meet today and he wants her to back down. Now, how can he say oh my divorce was so much better then yours when his EX does not know the full story at all, she only has one side, if she knew what I knew I bet he would not describe their divorce and post realtionship as friends. Again he told me she does not know all this stuff, so I let him have it. I said to him you know I know all the SHT!! my ex did to me your ex knows maybe 1 thing from what you said, of course she is friendly and wants you back she knows ZERO!!! I was very mad as he was always judgemental about me and my divorce and how stuff went bad but he is perfect right? I just wonder how many people think yeah its all good and they only got half the story to go by. I am either idealistic, stupid or right..I just don't get people anymore......
2.50 a gallon Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 I have long ago learned to ignore people like your friend. The question I have is who are they trying to convince, me or themselves? I am wondering what kind of sunshine has he blown towards his new squeeze? I doubt that he has told her of his former wandering ways
spriggig Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 My wife cheated on me. She's going to either have to lie to the next guy or find another sympathetic cheater. Either way, she's got a hard row to hoe now. Cheaters know to their bones that what they did was unnecessary and so horribly wrong. Lying to themselves and others is a form of self-defense against the guilt and pain they would have to experience if they ever faced the full truth all at once. You did him a favor, forcing him to face it head-on like that. Maybe he can forgive himself now and be more honest with the new GF.
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