HalfLife Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 Hey everyone. I'm Brandon. This is a picture of me and my Ex-girlfriend Gabby just before we broke up. http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o68/half-lifefan22/Weresocute.png Here's the story: Me and Gabby met in the middle of 8th grade. From the very start of us dating everyone could tell we were not like most High school couples. Why? Because we honestly cared about each other more than anything in the world. All we wanted was each other, and we were both the happiest people as long as we were with each other. Not only were we lovers but we were best friends. And her parents loved me, always inviting me over to their house and to the beach with them. Like I said this started in the middle of 8th grade. The relationship continued until the very end of 10th grade. So we dated for two years and about 4 months. We were the kind of couple that talked on the phone every weekend night untill 4 AM. We never fought. We never yelled at eachother or criticized each other. Every second we spent together (and we were ALWAYS together) we loved and treated each other we care and compassion. One of the reasons our high school romance worked so well was because of the way I treated her. I'm an honors student on the Varsity wrestling team. And along with that I've never drank, never smoked, and I've NEVER pressured her into sexual things. And to be honest we are both still virgins. She was worried about getting pregnant. (I know that a condom would have avoided it but like I said I didn't want her to feel pressured so I didn't say anything. The way I treated her continued through all two years of our relationship. And then I got a car. I started seeing her parents less because of it. I would pick Gabby up and drop off hours later, so I feel like Gabby's parents lost trust in me. They started to see me as "The horny guy taking our daughter away and doing things we dont know about." Ever since I got my car and was out too long at night with her, they began acting really weird around me. And not letting us hang out at all anymore. Then randomly at school Gabby comes to me crying saying we have to break up because her parents wont let us see eachother anymore. I didn't want to let her go just like that, so I called her dad on the phone and asked if I could talk to him in person after school. And I did. He gave me a lot of "Oh well Gabby's too young for a relationship this long and she needs to experience High School single" and didn't give me what I thought the real reasons were (sex). But he said we could still be friends and everything. Like the very next day Gabby tells me they're saying all these horrible things about me and they wont let us talk, text, call, or see eachother anymore. Gabby's sweet 16 was two days before they made us break up, and I wasnt even aloud to go to the party. Almost two months has passed since then. And me and Gabby tried letting eachother go, but we just couldn't. We wanted to be together no matter what her parents thought so we were going to do it. So from then on we were "Secretly dating" so her parents wouldnt find out. But now schools over so I can't see her at school anymore. And her parents know shes trying to talk to me still. So they took her phone away, and almost never let her on the computer. And whenever she hangs out with freinds, her freaking mom talks to her friends mom first and makes sure I don't try to meet her there or anything. So its becoming very very hard to stay with her. But if she gets a chance to call me for a few minutes, we talk and sometimes cry because we missed eachother's voice so much. So it's not like the feelings arent there anymore. I feel like I would do anything in the world to let us go back to the way we used to be. But I can't think of anything. I already tried originally talking to her dad a couple months but it didn't go over all that well. And it seems like the more we've fought to stay in touch the more her parents hate me. Should I write her parents a letter or something? What do I do? This is a horrible situation
DenverBachelor Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 I feel like I would do anything in the world to let us go back to the way we used to be. But I can't think of anything. I already tried originally talking to her dad a couple months but it didn't go over all that well. And it seems like the more we've fought to stay in touch the more her parents hate me. Should I write her parents a letter or something? What do I do? This is a horrible situation Well Romeo, I would not bother writing Capulet or Lady Capulet a letter since, in their eyes, you're just some horny sixteen your old kid who is taking their daughter out at odd hours of the night and doing things with her. Did you bring her home late once when they asked that she be back at a certain time? Some event had to trigger this. Unfortunately, you really don't have many options short of eloping when the two of you are eighteen and can afford an apartment. The two of you aren't technically adults yet, so they can pretty much set whatever rules they want for their daughter while she is living under their roof. What do your parents think of this? I'm a bit concerned that her parents are talking to other parents about you. They could be spreading misconceptions about you to others. You may want to talk to your dad and perhaps get HIM to have a talk with them. Something set their current mood against you, but I'm not sure what that is -- but they don't have a right spreading rumours about you through town if you did nothing wrong.
Author HalfLife Posted June 21, 2010 Author Posted June 21, 2010 (edited) Well Romeo, I would not bother writing Capulet or Lady Capulet a letter since, in their eyes, you're just some horny sixteen your old kid who is taking their daughter out at odd hours of the night and doing things with her. Did you bring her home late once when they asked that she be back at a certain time? Some event had to trigger this. Unfortunately, you really don't have many options short of eloping when the two of you are eighteen and can afford an apartment. The two of you aren't technically adults yet, so they can pretty much set whatever rules they want for their daughter while she is living under their roof. What do your parents think of this? I'm a bit concerned that her parents are talking to other parents about you. They could be spreading misconceptions about you to others. You may want to talk to your dad and perhaps get HIM to have a talk with them. Something set their current mood against you, but I'm not sure what that is -- but they don't have a right spreading rumours about you through town if you did nothing wrong. The trigger? Yes. It was when her parents invited me over for dinner one night. And I got there and they're like "Oh the house isnt clean and dinner wont be ready for awhile! Why don't you and Gabby go get some ice cream?" So we left, and when we got there me and Gabby talked about i dont even remember but I remember we were talking about something serious for like 25 minutes. And then we went in a got ice cream, and took awhile to eat it. And then we spent like another 30 min in my car listening to music and having fun... all in the parking lot right there. And before we knew it we were out for almost an hour and a half when we really were just getting ice cream and enjoying eachothers' company. That night at the dinner table her parents were like "Oh brandon so what are your parents up to? Are they home?" and like her dad was whispering some **** under his breath about taking two hours to get ice cream or something. And then while I was still there that SAME NIGHT they pull Gabby off into her room and are like "Gabby you hang out with him way to much you need more time for your freinds" and all this bull****. It seems like they were afraid we were having sex but didn't want to say it so they used other excuses why we shouldnt hang out. And from that night on it got worse and worse untill they said we arent aloud talking or being freinds anymore. And from THERE on after that night, their mind changed on me from "Oh heres Brandon he's a nice guy we respect him" to "Wtf is he doing with Gabby he's fake and just wants her for her body"... Edited June 21, 2010 by HalfLife
S.Tee Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 Hey brandon, To every parents they are very much concerned of their sweet innocent daughter and before anythng bad happens, prevention is better than cure. In this case probably virginity. So they did the right thing coz she is only 16 and though you are at the moment the best guy for their daughter, but it is all too soon. Two of you still have a looong way to go and they of course do not want their daughter to get involved too serious. The way it seems, from innocent boy saying hi to her parents each times, it is now picking and sending their daughter without even noticing them. It might not be a big issue but to some conservative parents, it is a sign of going overboard. They have good intention, they are not turning you away, but prefer your relationship to slow down and eventually blossom. So it is better take it easy, be a good friend to their daughter, win her parents back. Do not visit them but maybe find any opportunity to bump into them outside. Say hi and be happy & innocent. Get the momentum going and slowly you will gain their trust back! Your gf also should play a part to convince her parents that you meant well and had not gone physically close. Time will tell, for time being go slow and surely it will get well soon. Do not get rebellious, satisfy them and they will give their green light later. Good luck
Author HalfLife Posted June 22, 2010 Author Posted June 22, 2010 ^ Yeah and well I mean... as of right now we're "Secretly" dating. It's summer time and we know we won't see each other much. So we're staying together and staying committed to each other even though we can't really see each other that often. We can only talk on the computer every couple days because her parents have all her ways of communicating with me on lock down. But I mean, if we really didn't love each other then we wouldn't be doing this... right?
DenverBachelor Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 And from THERE on after that night, their mind changed on me from "Oh heres Brandon he's a nice guy we respect him" to "Wtf is he doing with Gabby he's fake and just wants her for her body"... Well that's messed up. You're obviously thoughtful, educated, handsome, respectful, etc. You're also 16 and doing what I and every other person did when they were 16 -- having fun and going out. Maybe she should start dating a rough-neck biker dude with tattoos all over his body. I'm sure if she brings that kind of guy over, they'll be on the phone begging for you to date their daughter. The situation is definitely messed up for you. I'm sorry you have to go through that. You're at the age where you really have to do a good song and dance for the parents. Keep your spirits up and try not to take this personally. They sound a bit over-protective of their daughter. If I was a father with a sixteen year old daughter, I'd be delighted that she was dating a guy like you vs. all the rest that is out there. They don't seem to really have their head grounded in reality. Sixteen isn't a kid anymore -- you're making hard decisions about college, love, moving out, etc. They're not really making this any easier for the both of you. However, true love will always prevail so keep your spirits up. I'm sure if both of you really love one another, you'll get past this phase with her parents. Best of luck to you. I know it sucks, dude because I had a similar situation occur when I was around 17.
Recommended Posts