tornandmarried Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 my girlfriend of over 4 years cheated on me and we decided to get married hoping it would bring us closer.A week after we set a wedding date she dumped me for another guy she works with, he went to jail 5 days later and we decided to work things out and stick to the wedding date...we got married and now im so torn i just want a divorce....i love her unconditionaly but theres just no trust left, 5 days of marriage made me realize im so over her
habs53 Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 Wow, i think this marriage could probably be reversed. I am trying to save my marriage and i know for a fact, the trust thing will be a huge thing for me as well. Sorry to hear this man.
marsbars Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 Most states give a 30 day period that is open for an anullment. Run like hell !!! That is all I can say. Run and never look back.
Chrome Barracuda Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 She did all this stuff to you, and you STILL married her?!!? WTF is you smoking??? Anull it and kick her azz to the curb!
What_Next Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 If you don't want to work through it then end it NOW! I can't put myself in your shoes but I'd honestly have not married her until the affairs were dealt with.
Author tornandmarried Posted June 21, 2010 Author Posted June 21, 2010 love can make u do crazy things....shes one awesome female, just lost her ability to stay faithfull to me....im calling laywers right now
trippi1432 Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 It's called an annulment....do it before she gets pregnant (or God forbid, turns up pregnant by the other guy!!)
Author tornandmarried Posted June 24, 2010 Author Posted June 24, 2010 thanks for everyones feedback....its been very helpfull....the confusing thing about it is, it was a very close and loving relationship for the first 4 years...things started going down hill a bit and she got all caught up in some whirlwind. i dont get it, while i been trying to work things out she keeps sending me home to stay at diffrent friends houses all the time...marriage still not consummated....not that i mind her hanging with friends but dont u think newlyweds would want to spend alot of time together at first?...im trying to be patient but its making me miserable...im going to talk to her tonight about getting unmarried...my friends and family are being supportive and loaning me money for a possible annulment, i hope
Tayla Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 I say stay! You are then sparing the world from this type. Consider it a noble duty so other men aren't as jaded. (editors note: The above is meant for humor and in no way meant to encourage this debacle of a marital dilema)
trippi1432 Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 thanks for everyones feedback....its been very helpfull....the confusing thing about it is, it was a very close and loving relationship for the first 4 years...things started going down hill a bit and she got all caught up in some whirlwind. i dont get it, while i been trying to work things out she keeps sending me home to stay at diffrent friends houses all the time...marriage still not consummated....not that i mind her hanging with friends but dont u think newlyweds would want to spend alot of time together at first?...im trying to be patient but its making me miserable...im going to talk to her tonight about getting unmarried...my friends and family are being supportive and loaning me money for a possible annulment, i hope Torn.....be VERY careful here.....how long ago was her fling with the other guy and then the marriage between the two of you? She is sending you to stay with other people and not consummated the marriage yet. I hate to bring this up, but is there a chance that she could be pregnant by the other guy? Whatever you do, in talking to her tonight about an annulment, do not consummate until you are sure about everything. An uconsummated marriage is easier to annul than a consummated one in most states.
Author tornandmarried Posted June 25, 2010 Author Posted June 25, 2010 shes definatly not pregnant to anyone, shes prety much infertile, we was even tryign to have a baby with no success....she proably is banging other guys but at this point i dont care anymore, that will just make divorce easier if annulment dont work out.....i know i deserve better....guess i took it to an extreme to try to save the relationship, which blew up in my face, but glad i did, made me see things more clearly, now ill have the strength to dump a cheater in an instant
Author tornandmarried Posted June 25, 2010 Author Posted June 25, 2010 its been 2 and a half months since the cheating started till we got married
Chrome Barracuda Posted June 25, 2010 Posted June 25, 2010 your better off, never consumated the marriage?? wtf? dude be out!!!
Darth Vader Posted June 26, 2010 Posted June 26, 2010 your better off, never consumated the marriage?? wtf? dude be out!!! Get out NOW MAN, DUMP THE LOSER! BTW, do you have an update for us?
Author tornandmarried Posted June 26, 2010 Author Posted June 26, 2010 update....still havent talked to her about divorce or annulment, i kinda want to get the papers worked out before i bring it up...is that good? still havent seen her since i started this post. we been talking on the phone everyday but she blows me off everyday to do something diffrent, so i guess its pretty much dead at this point...not sure what i did wrong, im really a very nice guy, i been very patient and understanding through this whole thing....it is what it is tho
Darth Vader Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 update....still havent talked to her about divorce or annulment, i kinda want to get the papers worked out before i bring it up...is that good? still havent seen her since i started this post. we been talking on the phone everyday but she blows me off everyday to do something diffrent, so i guess its pretty much dead at this point...not sure what i did wrong, im really a very nice guy, i been very patient and understanding through this whole thing....it is what it is tho She's parting hard and screwing around on ya, on your dime! Get the papers taken care of, then when she gets back from la la land drop the bomb! The sooner, the better for you! Whatever you do, DON'T HAVE SEX WITH HER EVER!!!!!!
Gunny376 Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 my girlfriend of over 4 years cheated on me and we decided to get married hoping it would bring us closer.A week after we set a wedding date she dumped me for another guy she works with, he went to jail 5 days later and we decided to work things out and stick to the wedding date...we got married and now im so torn i just want a divorce....i love her unconditionally but there's just no trust left, 5 days of marriage made me realize im so over her Dump her like she was yesterdays trash ~ because that's what she is. TRASH when it comes to being in a relationship. (And legal disclaimer ~ men can be and are trash themselves) And the worse of it is that she cheated on you with someone that got locked up and in jail? I watch "Cops" sometimes and I cannot even belive some of these "losers" that are going to jail for some of the stupid and idoitic things they do. (Sidebar? Have you ever noticied that the white guys pretty much get "cuffed" and agree they FU? The black guys involves a five mile car chase, them bailing, runnning for five hundred yards before getting taking down and cuffed asking "What did I do?" But the women? Be they black, white, Hispanic ~ mattersd not ~ its going to take four or five Cops to put her in the back of a patrol car? Even then they're trying to kick out the windows of the patoral car?
amerikajin Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 If you can get out of it, do it now. Save time, money, and your feelings. She will screw you again, and not necessarily the way you like it.
Author tornandmarried Posted June 27, 2010 Author Posted June 27, 2010 first she had a month long (or more) affair with a guy that hit her alot, she insisted she wanted me not him but couldnt stop cheating, she lied about it off and on tho, and the second guy was someone she worked with, she actually dumped me for him then few days later he got arrested for having a warrent.....then she wanted to work things out with me again, married like 2 weeks later...i know it sounds crazy and stupid, but we had a very close and passionate relationship, i know i ment alot to her....i treated her good after all her other boyfriends treated her bad....she just turned into a diffrent person practically over night...she used to be such a great girl, which is why i still married her, thought maybe shes going through a phase and shell go back to normal...shes really not trash, she just got carried away in some whirlwind...but people usually cheat cuz they have some kind of need not being met, maybe i was too nice?? just seems weird things could go so well for so long then turn into jerry springer show
Chrome Barracuda Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 first she had a month long (or more) affair with a guy that hit her alot, she insisted she wanted me not him but couldnt stop cheating, she lied about it off and on tho, and the second guy was someone she worked with, she actually dumped me for him then few days later he got arrested for having a warrent.....then she wanted to work things out with me again, married like 2 weeks later...i know it sounds crazy and stupid, but we had a very close and passionate relationship, i know i ment alot to her....i treated her good after all her other boyfriends treated her bad....she just turned into a diffrent person practically over night...she used to be such a great girl, which is why i still married her, thought maybe shes going through a phase and shell go back to normal...shes really not trash, she just got carried away in some whirlwind...but people usually cheat cuz they have some kind of need not being met, maybe i was too nice?? just seems weird things could go so well for so long then turn into jerry springer show Bul****. She cheated twice and you still married her. she played you like a sucker and now you defend her actions! dude how can you defend someone who treated you like trash. She knew you was a mark, if you had more clear vision and a backbone. You could have avoided all this unneccessary pain! She wasnt a great girl, you married someone who pretended to like you, who used you as a back up plan. Who lied and ultimately knew to manipulate you into marrying her, for a short term marriage that she never had a reason for keeping it together, maybe she just wanted to say, oh i married some guy but just did it to say she got married. She sounds like a sociopath! Dont discuss anything with her. Do not converse with her, just get some money and have her served. She's going to cry and beg and plead to get back in your circle. Dont drink the kool aid that she's selling you. Please!!! leave this chick alone!
ComputerJock Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 Bad girls like bad boys...good guys get the shaft. That's life.
U2RockZz Posted June 27, 2010 Posted June 27, 2010 she doesn't really have any reason to stop her cheating, who is wearing pants in this R,it's definitely not you....get some balls or lend some but get rid of her.....if there is any thing you can blame it is YOU.....get that annulment ASAP....anyways what is that you wanted to discuss with her...get off the drugs ASAP
Author tornandmarried Posted June 27, 2010 Author Posted June 27, 2010 yeah thats proably true...when u really care about someone cheating on them is far from your mind, u just cant hurt them like that or risk throwing it away....but people make mistakes....i do want a divorce tho, i think she will proably keep cheating....and we just grew apart
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