mlaw Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 my boyfriend I have recently realized lies about everything....I started finding things out by accident then I started looking for things....whenever I confront him he says ...I thought you would be upset so I didnt want to tell you....I tell him...I would leave your for lying far sooner than for something that might upset me......yet he continues to lie...I put a gps in the car...and allthough I dont see any evidence of cheating (yet)...he will say he is one place when he is at another...for no reason?? he told me he didnt know a certain girl where we live...yet when she came walking down the hall...he nearly pushed me over to have her not see him...said she had said hi a few times and he thought it would upset me??? the only thing that is upsetting me is....why all the lies???? he must be hiding more things?????...things are great otherwise..but do I want to spend my life looking for lies????
ADF Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 Once you start doing 007 stuff like putting tracking devices in your SOs car, the relationship is dead. When trust has been so thoroughly destroyed that you feel a need to spy on someone, it is time to walk away.
seekandfind Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 So the relationship is completely fine, but he lies about random things? Either he is a pathological liar (a huge problem in itself), or there are hidden issues there waiting to come out. You need to be very firm with him and show that you aren't going to accept him being like this. Tell him that if things don't change then you are gone. And then you need to stick to your word. A healthy relationship does not involve one person constantly lying (even if they are being faithful) and the other pull private investigator type stunts.
2sunny Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 when there's nothing to hide - people hide nothing... his lies and cover up mean something is terribly wrong. i'd start by going directly to the gal he dodged in front of you... there is a reason for his odd behavior and i'd ask her why. believe her, not him. since he won't give you any truths, trust your gut - something isn't right. i would never waste my own peace of mind with such a man. if it were me, i wouldn't waste another minute wondering - i'd leave him. but that is just me - and that's why i suggested the above.
Diezel Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 She shouldn't even have to ask the girl. If her gut is telling her that there's something wrong, then that should be enough. Why prolong the misery and agony with hypothetical situations when his actions are clearly demonstrating that something ISN'T right. She needs to eject.
Author mlaw Posted June 21, 2010 Author Posted June 21, 2010 thankyou everyone...that was all very good advice...just trying to confirm that things are as bad as I think they are...I know that is hard for some people to understand...but he is very charming and believable in his excuses...and it gets very confusing...not to mention that I fell in love so you do make excuses in your head...but I know I have to end it...or spend the rest of my life being exhausted by his lies. thanks
Mimolicious Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 Your BF sounds like he has psychological issues. He's a compulsive liar and there is nothing he can do to change it, unless he gets help. Probably lies to himself too. I am sure that if you compared notes with his parents, they can tell you that as a child he lied about almost anything he did. Too bad they didn't correct it in time. If you don't want to deal with all his lies, drop him! He wont stop lying... It's all he knows.
Posh Polly Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 thankyou everyone...that was all very good advice...just trying to confirm that things are as bad as I think they are...I know that is hard for some people to understand...but he is very charming and believable in his excuses...and it gets very confusing...not to mention that I fell in love so you do make excuses in your head...but I know I have to end it...or spend the rest of my life being exhausted by his lies. thanks Sociopaths are usually very charming! I think you should get out.
CrayonAngel Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 I tell him...I would leave your for lying far sooner than for something that might upset me......yet he continues to lie...QUOTE] yet you continue to put up with it...just leave already
hungbro Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 Hi, could someone give me a breakdown of the forum abbreviations ie SO? Thanks
LSNoob Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 Hi, could someone give me a breakdown of the forum abbreviations ie SO? Thanks SO = Significant Other ... I think WS = Wayward Spouse. BS = Betrayed Spouse. MM/MW = Married Man/Married Woman. OM/OW = Other Man/Other Woman. M,R,LDR = Marriage, Relationship, Long Distance Relationship. MC/IC = Marriage Council/ Individual Council ... I think A,EA,AP = Affair, Emotional Affair, Affair Partner. That's all I now so far. Hope others can confirm that, or add more.
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