I'm Batman Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 Spin-off from another thread since it was only directed to the women. If you were dating a guy/girl but your friends and family did NOT accept them (whether it be they're backgrounds, or personalities etc.) would you ignore them and continue seeing this guy/girl? Or would you break it off because friends/family is more important? Has anybody been in this situation?
norajane Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 Well, I'm 42, so at this point in my life, I have close friends I've known forever whom I trust dearly. If they were uneasy about someone I was dating, yes, I would absolutely listen to their viewpoint. I know they're looking out for me, so if they are seeing something I'm not because I'm in that infatuation stage, I'd want to know and would take their advice very carefully into consideration. That goes for my family as well, particularly my sister who is my best friend.
sumdude Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 That's a tough one. But from hard learned experience? Your friends and family care about you and are looking out for you. Plus they can see things from the outside that you can't. If the majority of your good friends and family tell you that someone isn't good for you or something is sketchy, pay attention. I know I wish I had.
harmfulsweetz Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 I value their opinion, and would take it into consideration if it was valid, and reasonable. I've had people dislike someone simply because of something trivial, i.e. a disagreement of some sort, a personality clash, not necessarily something relating to me, or the relationship. i.e. it wasn't a case whereby my friends were trying to stop me getting hurt. I've also had friends try to stop me getting hurt by sharing judgments on a guy I was dating. And they were right.
Confusedalways Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 Absolutely the importance of acceptance from my family is essential. I don't think I could [seriously] date a guy my mom didn't approve of, but luckily so far so good. I've found that in situations when I'm sure I'm right, and my mom tells me something different, she is always the one who ends up being right. Really it's just easier if I listen from the get go As far as my friends-- there's two or three i'd take seriously if they had a major problem. The rest i'd listen to put not necessarily act on, depending on the severity of the problem they see.
Sivok Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 Honestly, I don't really care what my friends/fam think. If the person I was dating had problems with my fam, then I'd have an issue
Ruby Slippers Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 Unless they have a very legitimate concern, the opinions of family and friends are not going to change my mind about a man.
anne1707 Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 Whilst important, I would base my decision on my understanding of the situation rather than somebody else's assumptions. After all, if I had followed the views of my family, I would not have married my H who I am still with over 15 years later (and who they can now see is right for me)
OceanTropic Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 I am in this situation right now. I am deeply in love with my boyfriend, but my family gives me so much sh*t about him everytime I tell them we are going out or I am going to see him. I personally don't care if my family accepts him, but it creates a lot of problems. I have been having so many problems at home all because they don't like my bf. It is important for my family to accept him, but not because I care, because this is MY bf, not theirs. Its important because it makes life easier, and not a hassle everytime.
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