ecto-1 Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 ...and this is no stereotype or anything, just seems so darned frequent.... They've either been abused sexually as a child or raped, or even abusive relationships. But the two earlier, it seems most women I've met either has been sexually abused as a child or raped. Since I'm hearing this more and more frequently and please I don't meant to downplay this, but I often times find myself thinking, "Define rape." Sometimes, I wonder if it's a "pity story" or some story that was embellished to win sympathy? Or women put themselves in situations. I just find it weird I just keep seeing this more and more frequently than not. In the men's defense, I had a good friend, very passive and easy going that had a real piece of work of a girlfriend, apparently she went nuts on him physically, and she tried to hit him or throw stuff at him, and she apparently hurt herself trying to hurt HIM ( Poetic Justice ).....and she called the police, showed them the bruises and marks, and they hauled him off to jail for assault, he just had to take anger management courses, but he's far form angry. Now, I am wondering if this woman is now using this as a "tall tale" to have others feel sorry for her at some kind of dinner conversation or party....or , for that matter, when getting to know a guy she's interested in. I just wonder about the whole "cry wolf" thing.
that girl Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 About 1/4 of American woman have been sexually assaulted. The FBI and several researchers have put the false report rape around 8%. Which could sound a little high except more people false report burglary. One way to know that this isn't just mean women making things up for sympathy is that in large surveys of men when they ask things like "Have you ever forced a woman to have sex againist her will?" and "Have you ever had sex with a woman you knew was to intoxicated to consent?" 5-10% of men answer yes. And most of them have done it more than once. The vast majority of men are not rapists, but some admit they are. And most are not in jail because it is very difficult to get a rape conviction. Maybe your friend did manage to find one of the women who is a real psycho. As his friend, I understand why you would think that. But as a third party, I wonder if you don't know him as well as you think. For all the talk about innocent men being hauled off woman haters spew, no one ever brings up the fact that most criminals do not admit to their crimes they say it was the unfair justice system. You should never, ever say to a woman who says she was raped "define rape." That would traumatize a real victim because one of the biggest reasons women do not report is that they fear being called a liar. If you don't believe her, don't spend time with her. But it isn't your job to play judge and jury. 1/4 of women have been assaulted. Ignoring the women you date, think about the women you love unconditionally. You mom, your grandmas, your sisters, your aunts. That is probably at least 4 women and odds are one of them has been raped.
Author ecto-1 Posted June 20, 2010 Author Posted June 20, 2010 About 1/4 of American woman have been sexually assaulted. The FBI and several researchers have put the false report rape around 8%. Which could sound a little high except more people false report burglary. One way to know that this isn't just mean women making things up for sympathy is that in large surveys of men when they ask things like "Have you ever forced a woman to have sex againist her will?" and "Have you ever had sex with a woman you knew was to intoxicated to consent?" 5-10% of men answer yes. And most of them have done it more than once. The vast majority of men are not rapists, but some admit they are. And most are not in jail because it is very difficult to get a rape conviction. Maybe your friend did manage to find one of the women who is a real psycho. As his friend, I understand why you would think that. But as a third party, I wonder if you don't know him as well as you think. For all the talk about innocent men being hauled off woman haters spew, no one ever brings up the fact that most criminals do not admit to their crimes they say it was the unfair justice system. You should never, ever say to a woman who says she was raped "define rape." That would traumatize a real victim because one of the biggest reasons women do not report is that they fear being called a liar. If you don't believe her, don't spend time with her. But it isn't your job to play judge and jury. 1/4 of women have been assaulted. Ignoring the women you date, think about the women you love unconditionally. You mom, your grandmas, your sisters, your aunts. That is probably at least 4 women and odds are one of them has been raped. Yeah, this can be a very shakey ground of discussion (walking on eggshells) because...like (I know this is just a one case scenario) in own home town...small area. Apparently these 2 ladies bumped into a local watering hole, I think they knew them from Highschool or something...one of these ladies was engaged, but she invited them back to her place So all 4 were back at her place, the engaged woman actually started fooling around with one of these guys, apparently the fiance' wasn't around at the time, was out of town or something. And, after the deed was done, she accused the guy of rape...and it was proven she only did this so her fiance' would find out she was actually just cheating on him. The court was able to prove this, and threw out the charges. But she was only doing it to save her butt, now I wonder what percentage of this actually happens to, but I guess there's no real accurate record because a lot of things are just left unsaid.
that girl Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 Yes, false accusations happen. But respectable sources say they are 8% of claims. In other words, 92% of women are telling the truth. Yet not only do most rapists not go to jail, people like you hear someone was raped and think "Prove it." Like they are supposed to pull out a video.
Shakz Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 Yes, false accusations happen. But respectable sources say they are 8% of claims. In other words, 92% of women are telling the truth. Yet not only do most rapists not go to jail, people like you hear someone was raped and think "Prove it." Like they are supposed to pull out a video. This is interesting to me because I can't remember any woman (with whom I've ever had a relatioship that progressed to the point where this topic could be breeched) who did not relate that at some time she had been sexually assaulted, either as an adult or as a child. I have no reason to believe they weren't all telling the truth (or at least 92%), but now, with this information that only 1/4 of women have been raped, I don't know what to think.
that girl Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 This is interesting to me because I can't remember any woman (with whom I've ever had a relatioship that progressed to the point where this topic could be breeched) who did not relate that at some time she had been sexually assaulted, either as an adult or as a child. I have no reason to believe they weren't all telling the truth (or at least 92%), but now, with this information that only 1/4 of women have been raped, I don't know what to think. Only 1/4? I seriously do not get how you can see that number knowing so many women who have been assaulted and not be relived that more haven't suffered. Even 1 in 4 is a massive percentage of the population that have been victimzed by men (the number of men who have been raped is 1 in 10 and the rapists are almost always men). Maybe you are drawn to women who have been victimized, maybe you live somewhere that the number is higher (1 in 4 is nationwide for the US). Maybe you are counting things like subway groping that don't count in the statistics (only rape, attempted rape and child molestation are included).
Shakz Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 Only 1/4? I seriously do not get how you can see that number knowing so many women who have been assaulted and not be relived that more haven't suffered. Even 1 in 4 is a massive percentage of the population that have been victimzed by men (the number of men who have been raped is 1 in 10 and the rapists are almost always men). Maybe you are drawn to women who have been victimized, maybe you live somewhere that the number is higher (1 in 4 is nationwide for the US). Maybe you are counting things like subway groping that don't count in the statistics (only rape, attempted rape and child molestation are included). I certainly didn't mean to belittle the percentage (although I can see how I could have worded it differently), it's just that i would have thought the number higher, based on my own experience as given. Certainly, 1/4 is 1/4 too many! I hadn't considered that I might be drawn to women who have been victimize (scary) but it may be so. Otherwise it does seem to come down to our definition of rape, afterall. I think the official reports may be low, because many women don't report, and because the authorities must more narrowly define rape as a crime to protect the rights of the accused. Perhaps it's time for a revision of official definition, given these high numbers.
C-i-C-u Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 Only 1/4? I seriously do not get how you can see that number knowing so many women who have been assaulted and not be relived that more haven't suffered. Even 1 in 4 is a massive percentage of the population that have been victimzed by men (the number of men who have been raped is 1 in 10 and the rapists are almost always men). Maybe you are drawn to women who have been victimized, maybe you live somewhere that the number is higher (1 in 4 is nationwide for the US). Maybe you are counting things like subway groping that don't count in the statistics (only rape, attempted rape and child molestation are included). I honestly don't believe 1/4 is that high. Forgive me for sounding bad, but that number is honestly pretty good compared to other parts of the world. We are one of the only countries where the majority of people raped actually report it. Now think about that.
txsilkysmoothe Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 I've never been raped, thank God, but imagine it is not something I would want to tell a man with whom I want to have a romantic relationship. I would expect him to view it as a "negative," an assumption that I would have emotional issues, a reason not to date me. Nobody wants to get involved with a "damaged" person. I think most women and men would agree with this thinking. Therefore, why would a woman want to make this claim if it was NOT TRUE.
txsilkysmoothe Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 I honestly don't believe 1/4 is that high. Forgive me for sounding bad, but that number is honestly pretty good compared to other parts of the world. We are one of the only countries where the majority of people raped actually report it. Now think about that. How would you know that? How would anyone know that? You can't determine "majority" unless you know the "total." Since rapes go unreported, you don't know the "total," therefore you can't know the majority nor that a majority are reported. Now think about that!
that girl Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 The 1/4 number comes from surveys of women. The majority do not report their rape only about 40% report their rape. And sure, many countries have higher rates but I think we shouldn't be looking at Sierra Leone and thinking "Well at least it isn't that bad." People like ecto-1 and Tom Leykis are the reason so few are reported. We don't generally doubt people when their car is stolen, but a lot of people doubt rape victims.
Recommended Posts