Div Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 It's been 5 weeks since the breakup. After the first week I sent her a long winded message about how i missed what we had, thought we were stronger etc. She wanted to stay friends and then I told her "i need to heal and i dont think we should contact each other for a very long time". There has been no contact since then. I found out she had cheated on me during the relationship last week. Last night she attended the same party as me but we never spoke, nor even made eye contact. I don't want her back. But I miss the memories and good times we had like hell and I'm having such a hard time trying to tuck them away and forget about them. I want to know what she is feeling/thinking, but I don't want to be the first person to make any contact. Should I ever expect her to contact me?
monkeymaid Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 you have to be hurting from that info! im sorry to hear that bro! dont expect her to call. ...try to adopt the attitude of " i really hope i never hear from her again" you found out she cheated. ..y do you want any more exposure to that kind of person?
TaraMaiden Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 Pray to whatever force you believe in that she never, ever contacts you again. because trust me - if she does, it will be for one reason, and one only: To yank your chain, put you on a backburner and throw you breadcrumbs. her only motivation will be to ask herself "I wonder if I still got it? I wonder if he's thinking of me?" As I've often said: The only reason she SHOULD contact you - and the only thing you might legitimately respond to, is - "I am so desperately sorry. I made the worst mistake of my life dumping you. I hate what I did, and I'm begging you to forgive me. I would dearly love another chance, and will do whatever it takes, for as long as it takes, to prove to you that I am sincere, and want you back in my life for good. Would you ever consider having me back so I can try again, and love you as you deserve?" Anything other than this, is just her gratifying her own ego.
monkeymaid Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 im 3.5 mos post breakup, and i think i would **** a brick if i got that message in any form!!
StarrySkyBlue Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 You might think you miss the good times and the happy memories of you together, but that's actually just your brain going through withdrawals of certain chemicals. By cheating on you, she showed that she had no respect for you and the relationship. The best thing is to get her out of your life as soon as possible.
Heatemyheart89 Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 Hope she doesn't contact you.it will cause you upset if she does
cdt76 Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 Hey DIV. Same boat as yourself. I'd explode if she or anyone associated with her contacted me. Yes, I miss the companionship and love very much but I would never want that sick psychopath back. Hopefully, I'll find myself a new one that won't consider cheating on me. Any contact with her will only lengthen your healing process.
Username37 Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 It's been 5 weeks since the breakup. After the first week I sent her a long winded message about how i missed what we had, thought we were stronger etc. She wanted to stay friends and then I told her "i need to heal and i dont think we should contact each other for a very long time". There has been no contact since then. I found out she had cheated on me during the relationship last week. Last night she attended the same party as me but we never spoke, nor even made eye contact. I don't want her back. But I miss the memories and good times we had like hell and I'm having such a hard time trying to tuck them away and forget about them. I want to know what she is feeling/thinking, but I don't want to be the first person to make any contact. Should I ever expect her to contact me? Well from this story, if she does contact you. You'll feel some pain. Don't cave and call/text her. Think of the negatives about her. That will prevent you from talking to her and stuff. Good luck bud
Author Div Posted June 22, 2010 Author Posted June 22, 2010 Thanks for the responses guys. I've been talking a lot with her ex-female friend and we're really good mates. The two of them still talk, but basically she had treated her like crap as a friend and decided she didn't want anything to do with her (my ex). She said when they were talking my ex asked "Do you think div will ever talk to me again?" and the friend said "No. I think he found some stuff out and knows what you did during the relationship". This hurt her apparently. So I guess she's been thinking about me and wondering why I'm not talking to her. It's good to know she's going to have a huge guilt trip knowing that she has caused this. I would have considered being her friend in a years time or something when I fully healed, but I don't even think thats an option for me. The only thing that would make me consider talking to her again was if she gave me a honest, face-to-face apology for what she did. But you're right, I shouldn't even want her to contact me because I'm only 5 weeks into healing and although I feel a lot stronger, I have a ways to go.
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