Author spookie Posted June 21, 2010 Author Posted June 21, 2010 How about a short text? "Miss you, baby! Hope you're having a great day. TTYL" More like, are you still coming over? The reason I will write him off if I don't hear from him today is that he will be standing me up.
likestolaugh Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 More like, are you still coming over? The reason I will write him off if I don't hear from him today is that he will be standing me up. not much of a relationship if that's all it takes. Also, as far as texting him today.... stop playing games. This isn't the first few weeks of dating. You should be comfortable enough to text him if you're concerned.
D-Lish Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 I'd be jumpy too if I hadn't heard from him yet. I feel like he should have made an effort to calm your fears by texting you last night when he got home. I think it would have been the right thing to do. Have you heard anything yet?
Ariadne Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 I'm getting more and more anxious as the hours creep by. It's past 8 PM and he is supposed to be coming over tonight. Granted, it is father's day, and he does have 2 dads; but still, even though we're not constant communicators, to have no communication like this is rare, too. It could be nothing, or it could be that they realized their on-off affair isn't totally dead yet. I hope that it's nothing. Yeah, this is kind of crappy. Hope you hear soon.
Jilly Bean Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 More like, are you still coming over? The reason I will write him off if I don't hear from him today is that he will be standing me up. Oh! So, you guys had plans for tonight? If that's the case, then yeah, a short text saying, "am I going to see you later?" would be OK. (P.S. I'm happy you're not pregnant right now. )
Serenitynow Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 You should be comfortable enough to text him if you're concerned. I find it funny how people still rely on texting even after a relationship is established. People that come on a forum to whine about a situation, when they could just call the person and settle the whole thing are pretty lame in my book STOP being an emotional mess and call him ! .
Citizen Erased Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 No. I would sound like an insecure emotional mess. He's your boyfriend. You should be able to ask him if he's going to turn up for plans you had. I'd be pretty pissed if my bf did that. Hate when people don't stick to their word.
jason83 Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 People that come on a forum to whine about a situation, when they could just call the person and settle the whole thing are pretty lame in my book STOP being an emotional mess and call him ! . While I understand what you're saying, I also feel there are a lot of people that simply need a place to vent. It's kind of like writing a letter and then throwing it away immediately after. It's a way to release what you feel and get it out of your system. Sometimes typing online can have a similar effect. The only advantage to online venting is that others can give actual feedback as well which can help comfort some even more. I would agree though Spookie that sending him a quick text saying "Hope you had a nice day. Are we still on for tonight? Thinking of you" type of thing would be more than fine, especially if you haven't heard from him yet and it's almost 10:00 your time Remember--communication is one of the most important things in a relationship. If you two are meant to be together, you should each feel comfortable enough to open up and talk about these things
Author spookie Posted June 21, 2010 Author Posted June 21, 2010 He called. Yet another false call on the cheating/ abandonment front. I need to get ahold of myself, this expectation of disappointment is not normal.
Jilly Bean Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 Yay, Spookie! It's not fear of disappointment. It's just paranoid insecurity. Totally different issues... (I kid, I kid). Glad it worked out. I'm sure he'll tell you she got fat or something.
Diezel Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 Next time, go to the party. You went out ANYWAY and without him and made the situation worse. It's not like he DIDN'T invite you in the first place. A whole day of agonizing over nothing.
Serenitynow Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 (edited) It's not like he DIDN'T invite you in the first place. A whole day of agonizing over nothing. Exactly, a lot of women like to create their own drama others can give actual feedback as well which can help comfort some even moreThats all good and dandy, but too many people on these forums just like to sugar coat stuff, and give people pep talks, without actually giving them sound advice because they are afraid to hurt their feelings. People hide behind texting like crazy Its the easiest way to be manipulative with the other person I need to get ahold of myself, this expectation of disappointment is not norma I finally agree with you Although you still have no proof if something happened or not . Edited June 21, 2010 by Serenitynow
Ariadne Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 He called. Yet another false call on the cheating/ abandonment front. I need to get ahold of myself, this expectation of disappointment is not normal. Cool! What happened with the ex?
jason83 Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 Next time, go to the party. You went out ANYWAY and without him and made the situation worse. It's not like he DIDN'T invite you in the first place. A whole day of agonizing over nothing. I completely agree with this
Author spookie Posted June 21, 2010 Author Posted June 21, 2010 Blah. I know this is obviously indicates I am sick in the head, but last night, I asked him point-blank if anything happened. He said, "No, not at all. You have nothing to worry about." After a small pause, he added, "And no fighting, either." I know I need to let this go, but I don't feel any better. As I lay next to him, I realized that I really don't trust him at all. Maybe I don't assume he'll cheat on me each particular time he goes out, but I really expect to be betrayed in the long run in this R. Additionally, in my gut I don't think he has any feelings for me. I think he's with me because the sex is great and I'm low maintenance. I don't know where that leaves us, as I'm not sure whether the above is due to a problem with HIM, all on my own. A big part of me misses the single days, when all I had was hope, and I didn't need to wonder about this s!ht. But on the other hand, I don't want to end a relationship that appears solid over my own insecurities.
Els Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 Additionally, in my gut I don't think he has any feelings for me. I think he's with me because the sex is great and I'm low maintenance. What gives you this impression?
Diezel Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 Again, next time, GO TO THE PARTY. See how all of these insecurities stem from YOU? Had you just gone in the first place, NONE of this would be going in the first place. He invited you to go, which meant that he had NOTHING to hide. I can hardly see how he was at fault here. He TOLD you that she was going to be there, gave you the full disclosure of what was going on so you didn't have to hear it from anyone else first. If you really feel this way, that you can't trust him... dump him, but don't come back saying you regret having dumped him. You can't have it both ways. That said... I think it's sad that he has to be in a relationship where the other person is EXPECTING to be betrayed at any given second.
Recommended Posts