AlwaysConflicted Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 Girlfriend broke up with me 1 month ago. We had NO CONTACT. I broke NC with an email to wish her a Happy Birthday and said it would be great to see her. She responded with " Thanks for thinking of me on my birthday " totally ignored my "would be great to see her." comment. I'd like to win her back. Is there something I should be saying or doing now? or is she 100 percent gone and done. Cause if that's the case, I need more closure.
heavensmesenger Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 Hmmmm I have no idea why you guys broke up but personally I'd move on. It just isn't worth the heartache at the end of the day. Trust me I know all about heartache with my ex. If she wanted to be with you, she'd be with you right? Theres nothing wrong with having a closure talk but that'll just bring up a lot of unwanted emotions to the surface and you or her will end up saying something you'll regret. I know it hurts like hell but ex's are ex's for a reason.
Username37 Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 (edited) She ignored the "see you comment" because she knows you have feelings for her while she's trying to forget you. It's nice that you wished her a happy birthday. Shows that you still care but it's hard to tell. One hand, it tells her that even though you're broken up, you still remember and care and on the other hand, it might show her that you're trying to win her back when she's trying to prevent that from happening. I don't want you to give up, but at the same time, I don't want you to have false hope. You can win her back, it's just hella tough. I tried and I failed. We don't know why you two broke up, so we can't really give you a plan. Edited June 21, 2010 by Username37
Author AlwaysConflicted Posted June 21, 2010 Author Posted June 21, 2010 (edited) I despise that she did it over the phone. I've only broken up with 1 girl, but at least I did it with dignity. I drove over to her house and sat down with her to explain everything. We both cried and went NC for about a year. After that year was up, we became good friends and remain good friends. In fact, she was helping me through this recent breakup. That's how you break up with someone. You sit down with them in a calm collective manner and just talk it out. My ex did it on the phone and then started hurling negative comments...I guess it was her way of rationalizing the breakup with me? or maybe it was easier to breakup with me if she was annoyed with me? Who knows...but it was mean. I didn't even fight back. I took all her insults and said, "why are you being so mean to me? You're revising history and creating negatives from positive events". And yet, I still want her back... I should kick her *ss, but I love her and she doesn't love me. Even I don't know why she broke up with me...That's why I've been posting so much. I'm trying to understand this woman's thought process. I think I've got it narrowed down to: She wants to be married with kids in 2 years and I'm not the "one". Sometimes I think I was a criminal in a past life. I've had so much bad stuff happen to me and I'm only 30. Once in a while I look up in the sky and just say, "Seriously?" Edited June 21, 2010 by AlwaysConflicted
Username37 Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 I despise that she did it over the phone. I've only broken up with 1 girl, but at least I did it with dignity. I drove over to her house and sat down with her to explain everything. We both cried and went NC for about a year. After that year was up, we became good friends and remain good friends. In fact, she was helping me through this recent breakup. That's how you break up with someone. You sit down with them in a calm collective manner and just talk it out. My ex did it on the phone and then started hurling negative comments...I guess it was her way of rationalizing the breakup with me? or maybe it was easier to breakup with me if she was annoyed with me? Who knows...but it was mean. I didn't even fight back. I took all her insults and said, "why are you being so mean to me? You're revising history and creating negatives from positive events". And yet, I still want her back... I should kick her *ss, but I love her and she doesn't love me. Even I don't know why she broke up with me...That's why I've been posting so much. I'm trying to understand this woman's thought process. I think I've got it narrowed down to: She wants to be married with kids in 2 years and I'm not the "one". Sometimes I think I was a criminal in a past life. I've had so much bad stuff happen to me and I'm only 30. Once in a while I look up in the sky and just say, "Seriously?" Man, I feel ya. I got broken up too through the phone. And what did she do? Brought me down. It was all insults. Felt like she only thought the relationship was NOTHING but bad memories. Terrific you didn't fight back. That would make matters worse. You're a good person not fighting her and you're a terrific person for breaking up with someone in a respectable way. And I'm sorry that she didn't want a future with you. You should move on, hate to say it. You're still young, you'll find someone else. I'm 16 turning 17 soon. I know we have an age gap but we can both agree that break ups SUCK and breaking up through the phone is a COWARDLY way of doing it haha Wish you luck buddy.
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