missy197 Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 Hi, I have been in and out of these boards and they really help. Anyway, me and the ex girlfriend broke up. We had our problems, lived with each other for a year, and then she broke it off. It was the right thing to do at the time, even though the fact that she broke it off hurt. I posted on here, mainly saying negative things about her (during the anger part on my part I guess). I did the usual begging and that, then left her alone. Funny, as soon as I did that she started the whole "let's be friends". We work together (she leaves in 5 weeks to go back home 150 miles away). We live in the UK. So, the last couple of weeks we email and hang out and get on really well. Part of me wanted to ignore her but most of me still wants her. She has her faults (spoilt, quite selfish) but there is something there. Something she undoubtedly recognises as she is upset that I am seeing someone else, although she is appearing cool with it. I told her on Thursday that I need to stop seeing her, hanging out at work, emailing, texting etc as it is not fair, especially as she goes soon. My dilema is that she is stubborn and will just let it go (especially as she will have been justifying the break up to her friends and family - who really liked me). If I don't hang out and "be there" in her last few weeks she will go (she is priviledged and has plenty to "distract" her). She believes in fate and has said if are meant to be, we will be. I am concerned she will let it go now, and it will be too late when (and I know it will happen) she regrets. I honestly know how she operates and I know it will happen. Do I leave her with LC (we have house stuff to sort out), or has the NC/LC been and gone and for reconcilation I need to continue being her "friend", hanging out and acting cool? I appreciate every relationship/breakup is unique, and I have only given a very brief outline as to what happened, but I would appreciate your advice. She has no one down here, do I "help" her now until she goes, or do I leave it? If anyone needs any more details I will happily fill them in, in order to get accurate advice/responses. thanks
BiAxident Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 Anyway, me and the ex girlfriend broke up. We had our problems, lived with each other for a year, and then she broke it off. It was the right thing to do at the time, even though the fact that she broke it off hurt. Reposting your story might help some, but based on what I read, I would let her go. Selfishness is not an attribute which is easily overcome in relationships.
DustySaltus Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 She broke up with you and wants to be friends in order to make herself feel less guilty. I know you are going to have to have some contact in order to sort out the home issues but aside from that there's really nothing to talk about. When someone truly cares about you things such as distance, pride and selfishness won't get in the way of their feelings for you. Anything short of her saying that she made a mistake, wants to work things out and is willing to do whatever it takes to make it work is meaningless. Also keep in mind that even if she did say those magic words there's no guarantee that this wouldn't happen again. Focus on yourself. Take care of the issues you need to take care of and then cut off the contact. Begin the healing process for yourself.
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