Reshawn122805 Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 I have been with my husband for two years, but we've been married for a year. I had gotten pregnant 3 months after we got married. For some reason it seemed likeever since I had gotten pregnant that he didn't want to touch me anymore. Then he started putting me down all the time. He always had something negative to say to me. I was a low life I was a dumb b**** He also told me I was worth nothing to him. I love this man so much I didn't want to leave him I wanted to try to work everything out. I had my daughter 6 weeks ago he is an excellent father. Everything she needs she gots when he comes home from work he goes right for her. Now everything is getting worse he hit me the other day and thought it was funny. Now he never has something good to say to me. I try to sit next to him and he pushes me away. Tells me to go sit somewhere else. Only time he wants anything to do with me is when he's hungry or wants something. It hurts so much I can't take it no more. I just don't want to do that to my daughter for her not to have her father in her life. I grew up without my father and now I kind of resent my mother for it and I don't want my little girl to resent me. What can I do?
just_some_guy Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 If he hits you, contact the authorities, have him arrested, press charges. Period.
trippi1432 Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 I have been with my husband for two years, but we've been married for a year. I had gotten pregnant 3 months after we got married. For some reason it seemed likeever since I had gotten pregnant that he didn't want to touch me anymore. Then he started putting me down all the time. He always had something negative to say to me. I was a low life I was a dumb b**** He also told me I was worth nothing to him. I love this man so much I didn't want to leave him I wanted to try to work everything out. I had my daughter 6 weeks ago he is an excellent father. Everything she needs she gots when he comes home from work he goes right for her. Now everything is getting worse he hit me the other day and thought it was funny. Now he never has something good to say to me. I try to sit next to him and he pushes me away. Tells me to go sit somewhere else. Only time he wants anything to do with me is when he's hungry or wants something. It hurts so much I can't take it no more. I just don't want to do that to my daughter for her not to have her father in her life. I grew up without my father and now I kind of resent my mother for it and I don't want my little girl to resent me. What can I do? Hi Reshawn - Sorry you are here under these circumstances, but welcome. First to address " I grew up without my father and now I kind of resent my mother for it and I don't want my little girl to resent me." My daughter grew up without her father for the largest percentage of her life (he left us and divorced us both later on). Not sure why you resented it for yourself, but my daughter never resented me for her father not being there....especially after she met him later on and saw the "real man" he was. Do not let that fear keep you in an abusive relationship. This is not what you want your daughter to think is "normal" when she grows up as she may very well find herself in an abusive relationship. Is it impossible to speak to him about his behavior? Do you have family or friends nearby that can help you in case this continues to be abusive? My heart goes out to you, there is no reason to take the emotional, verbal and physical abuse from this man....you are the mother of his child and you deserve more respect than what he is giving you. But if he is getting physically violent with you, it could get worse....do you have a safe place to go for you and your daughter?
Author Reshawn122805 Posted June 19, 2010 Author Posted June 19, 2010 No I don't have no where to go he moved me far away from my family and friends
habs53 Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 I would think normally the right thing to do is try to save your marriage. Dont know about this one however. Does not sound like a very nice person to me. Maybe he could go to anger management and then some marriage counselling.
trippi1432 Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 ReShawn - do you think that he would be open to anger management and/or counseling as Hasb53 pointed out?
What_Next Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 Have you discussed it with him? Is MC an option. He MUST control his anger, domestic violence is VERY serious and you should concern yourself with that right away. I feel awful for you.
Citizen Erased Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 No I don't have no where to go he moved me far away from my family and friends Then move back to your family. To be honest, she will resent you far more for allowing her to be in an abusive environment than she will for you taking her out of a bad environment and away from her father. He has already proven he has no problem with hitting women, he finds it amusing. What happens when she won't stop crying or she throws a tantrum when she's a toddler etc. It's all well and good to shrug abuse off when it's aimed at yourself but you owe your daughter far more than that. Report the abuse, get your daughter out of there. Not rocket science.
Citizen Erased Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 ReShawn - do you think that he would be open to anger management and/or counseling as Hasb53 pointed out? He hit the OP and he laughed at it. I somehow don't think anger management is going to fix this one. No remorse is a very clear sign he isn't fixing himself anywhere fast.
habs53 Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 He hit the OP and he laughed at it. I somehow don't think anger management is going to fix this one. No remorse is a very clear sign he isn't fixing himself anywhere fast. Yeah thats a very good point.
BB07 Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 Then move back to your family. To be honest, she will resent you far more for allowing her to be in an abusive environment than she will for you taking her out of a bad environment and away from her father. He has already proven he has no problem with hitting women, he finds it amusing. What happens when she won't stop crying or she throws a tantrum when she's a toddler etc. It's all well and good to shrug abuse off when it's aimed at yourself but you owe your daughter far more than that. Report the abuse, get your daughter out of there. Not rocket science. Great advice!
trippi1432 Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 He hit the OP and he laughed at it. I somehow don't think anger management is going to fix this one. No remorse is a very clear sign he isn't fixing himself anywhere fast. No, I totally agree with you on this one....just trying to offer up other options for the OP. Personally, I took matters into my own hands with my ex....made him watch the Burning Bed and threatened to end his life if he ever laid another hand on me....he slept on the couch that night with 911 pre-dialed into the phone. He wouldn't do the counseling, anger management or AA either.
habs53 Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 Well hopefully that will work. Sometimes the best thing to do is what you feel is right. I honesty dont agree with 80 percent of post on here. Every situation is different. No 2 couples are completey alike. I have know several real success stories where most on here feel that your doomed. Maybe i am, maybe im not. But the best advise i have learned is take care of yourself first.
whichwayisup Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 . Now everything is getting worse he hit me the other day and thought it was funny. Take your baby and get out of your house. Call the police and charge him with assault. Your baby is better off AWAY from him. One day he's going to smack her around and THAT will mess her up. She's better off with one loving parent than two parents together who fight and there's abuse going on. Emotional and physical abuse is dangerous combo and it's only going to get worse.
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