jason83 Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 Hey all! My GF and I started dating last August. She is hypoglycemic and has a lot of hard times with it (especially because she loves to drink things like Pepsi Max and alcohol). I've always been supportive but she had a lot on her plate with family, school, considering moving, etc....and in January of this last year, we got into a big fight and she broke up with me. Less than 2 months after that, she came back to me, crying and apologizing to me saying the time apart made her realize what we had and how much she loves me and is in love with me. Everything has been perfect ever since (she has been telling her whole family we are getting married and even saving for a wedding dress, to the point she said she wants to get married in early 2012)....until yesterday. She has had a rough time again with her parents, to the point that she really wants to move out (she was supposed to move in with me eventualy). She is on a waiting list and has less than 2 weeks to find out if she can move to France for a 3 month internship. It's the exact same scenario as last time, honestly. She asked for some time apart but wants me to be her friend still. She says "It would absolutely kill me to not have you in my life" which I think should say something. I'm 27 and she's 24. I've had a lot of breakups and it just feels like she's confused like before. I have a close friend who has 2 daughters that are hypoglycemic and a husband who is as well. She says I am the solid rock in my gf's life and need to try to stay there to show her that I'm not going anywhere. That people who are hypoglycemic will attack those who are closest and blame them for everything, which is what she is doing. Her sisters graduation party is today. My gf really wanted me to still come and I told her I didn't think I would because I wouldn't be able to hold back my feelings for her and not be able to be close to her. After talking to my friend, she says to go for 15 minutes or so to give her sister the gift I got her, say my hellos, be nice, and then leave. She really thinks that seeing me for a little bit and showing my gf that I am supportive no matter what will make a huge difference. What are your guys thoughts? I know typically I would just back away and say "Ok, take your space then" but hypoglycemia is so much different. She even told me before when we broke up that she really wished I had stayed close to her because she wanted me to keep pursuing her. Thoughts anyone?
Author jason83 Posted June 19, 2010 Author Posted June 19, 2010 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7io6O-py49A Here's a video poking fun at this serious problem....and it's kinda true lol...just thought I'd toss it out there for those who don't know much about this
carhill Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 Sounds to me like she still has some growing up to do. Hope things go well on that front for her in France. She asked for some time apart but wants me to be her friend still. She says "It would absolutely kill me to not have you in my life" which I think should say something.I would decline her polite offer and invite her to reflect upon the imbalance you've recited in your post. Life and love is not all about her, contrary to what Daddy showed her as a little girl. Good luck Oh, forgot, yeah, dated a diabetic and was good friends with an epileptic. They were and are people with chronic conditions. Those conditions do not rule them. Life is imperfect.
RegardingMe Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 I have the hypo glow, as I call it. Bottomline, when my sugar drops I become short and may attack my hubby. When my sugar is good, no problems it is a short term thing. This is not a week or month thing. It is a short time thing (like minutes) , not a long term thing.
Author jason83 Posted June 19, 2010 Author Posted June 19, 2010 (edited) I completely understand what you are saying. My friend seems to think that this is simply crazy though (she knows my gf fairly well) and never saw it coming. She keeps insisting that I go today for 15 mins just to drop off the card/present since I already got it....she has never steered me wrong in relationship advice so I am going to plan on doing this today...just be myself and smile. Aside from that, I don't know what I'm doing to do. I agree that time apart is definitely needed and the last thing I told my gf yesterday was the ball was in her court and she knew how to contact me when she was ready to talk more. I feel so confused as my world has been completely flipped withing the last 24 hours. I need a drink Seriously thank you all for the advice. I really do want to hear what others have to say, but like I said my friend keeps insisting that hypoglycemia doesn't follow the "typical" advice...maybe she's wrong. Guess today will show more. The party starts at 3:30...I plan to show up around 4:30-5:00. Either my friend is right and it will show her I am supportive no matter what and she needs to realize what I am in her life....or I know I was the bigger person and can treat myself to a drink after I return home and known I at least attempted it.... Edited June 19, 2010 by jason83
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 I am hypoglycemic, and let me tell you it is not fun. She may not be able to help her behavior but she can sure help what she does to influence it. It sounds like she needs to take more responsibility for her condition - ie: stop doing things to aggravate it, or at the least minimize it. As for this particular case, I'm not seeing hypoglycemia as the problem. It sounds like a simple case of her standing at a crossroads and finding a possibility of her life going in a different direction than yours. Make an appearance, drop off your gift and head on out.
Stung Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 I am hypoglycemic, and it's not exactly a major life-disruptor that turns you into a headcase. It's a pain in the butt, and if you don't regulate your blood sugar you can become short-tempered and sick and feel faint, and if you're stupid enough to let it spiral from there it can get serious...but it's a quick fix and you do not turn into an unstable drama queen because of hypoglycemia, nor is it some kind of disability that requires special coddling, outside of young children. It can take a little while to get used to compensating for hypoglycemia, but with a few fits and starts and a little study of a nutrition chart it can be controlled and regulated with fairly minimal effort. She's not making the effort if she's running around drinking Pepsi and alcohol and skipping meals. She's not a child, but a 24 year old woman using a fairly minor physical problem to excuse and camouflage some more major psychological/character flaws which are clearly part of her personality. As a hypoglycemic I have traveled the world, lived abroad, lived alone, scuba-dived in four different oceans, worked in multiple different fields, married, had a baby, raised children...I'm honestly quite surprised to see hypoglycemia being discussed here as some kind of potential major disability or psychological disorder. The real issue is that your gf has a lot of growing up to do, IMO.
Author jason83 Posted June 19, 2010 Author Posted June 19, 2010 I don't mean or it to sound like I'm saying this is a mental disorder or anything like that...my friends keeps reiterrating though that it can make you act different and illogical at times especially during stressful times and when you're not properly taking care of yourself as my gf is not. I do know she has a lot of stress in her life right now and I do not mean to make excuses for her as I would agree....this is simply immature as you should not push away the person that you claim to love. She actually just sent me a text message saying "I hope you're doing better. I wasn't lying when I said I still care" Ultimately I know the bigger thing to do is just to go drop off the present and then leave. Whatever happens after that, I can't get optimistic about. The ball will still be in her court and I have to do what's best for me and concentrate on myself Thank you for those that have chimed in with experience here...I've never been with someone who is hypoglycemic so only have my friends advice on the subject
Stung Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 I don't mean or it to sound like I'm saying this is a mental disorder or anything like that...my friends keeps reiterrating though that it can make you act different and illogical at times especially during stressful times and when you're not properly taking care of yourself as my gf is not. I do know she has a lot of stress in her life right now and I do not mean to make excuses for her as I would agree....this is simply immature as you should not push away the person that you claim to love. She actually just sent me a text message saying "I hope you're doing better. I wasn't lying when I said I still care" Ultimately I know the bigger thing to do is just to go drop off the present and then leave. Whatever happens after that, I can't get optimistic about. The ball will still be in her court and I have to do what's best for me and concentrate on myself Thank you for those that have chimed in with experience here...I've never been with someone who is hypoglycemic so only have my friends advice on the subject Unfortunately you can't make your girlfriend grow up and take care of herself, so yes, you have to do what's best for you. You might in fact be doing her a favor by ceasing to enable her. And how on earth does she plan to handle an internship abroad if she can't even manage her blood sugar in her own backyard with a concerned proto-fiance hovering over her? Anyway, FWIW I suspect your friend's information sounds a bit dramatic because she is A) worried about her young children and B) possibly making some excuses for her husband. To reiterate, IMO your gf's real problem is that she is a bit of a drama queen, addicted to the highs and lows of rollercoaster emotions and making everything more complicated than it needs to be, and everyone around her seems to be enabling her behavior. She sounds like she's using the hypoglycemia as a fount of more drama, honestly, or she'd be working harder to control it. She's still rather young and possibly confused so hopefully she'll grow out of these patterns as she moves on in life and shoulders more responsibility. The bottom line is her hypoglycemia is hardly your problem. Good luck in finding someone a bit more stable next time.
Author jason83 Posted June 19, 2010 Author Posted June 19, 2010 Well, I just got home... There were a number of people out back at her house. She answered the door and invited me in thanking me for coming. She hugged me immediately and starting crying. I told her I wasn't going to stay, just wanted to drop off the present I got. She kept touching my waist and started crying more...and then asked me why I didn't answer her text earlier. I told her I figured I would just surprise her this way and wanted to drop off the present. She asked again if I would stay or at least meet a couple of her family members. I thanked her but said I didn't feel it was probably appropriate at this time. She started crying more and said she'd call me tonight...but then asked again if I'd please stay. I looked her right in the eyes and said "This is what you asked for. You wanted space and you wanted time to think. I just hope you realize what you're losing." She cried more and said she'd call me as soon as she could after while. I hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, and left without looking back
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