thelover Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 (edited) So here is the situation. I was seeing an older woman for a few months and everything was great. We had become physically intimate as well. In general we would see each other once or twice a week and every time we'd see each other we got along wonderfully and genuinely enjoyed each other's company. I slept over at her house one Saturday and when I left on Sunday everything seemed fine just like it had it been before. Then she goes a week w/o speaking to me and not returning calls. (I called twice). Then in a few days, she meets with me to tell me that we can't continue on in a relationship but we should just be friends. She wants to have children and does not have a lot of time left, (she's in her mid 30's) and I am at a different stage in life than she is. (I'm just shy of 30) and live w/ my sister and her family. She told me I am a really great person and her heart was even telling her she was making a mistake in breaking up. She said we had so many things in common and had so much fun together. She began to crack emotionally when she broke up with me and started crying, and shaking, and she seemed really upset about it. I told her I had strong feelings for her and wanted to stay together with her but if this is the way she felt then I couldn't force her to change her mind. I still don't get it though. We had a wonderful, beautiful thing going and just like that, out of nowhere she calls it off. I don't think bad of her but I feel sad that we are not together. I guess my question is whether there is a chance that she could come back to me? She is divorced and has been dicked over in relationships before. Could it be that she is afraid of getting deeply involved? I gave her one phone call and wrote one letter but that's all the contact I'm going to do unless she decides to come back around. Edited June 19, 2010 by thelover
ADF Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 It sounds to me that this woman is not only being honest, but doing the right thing despite the fact it is terribly painful for her. You need to respect her for that. Too many people lie about why they are ending a relationship, or just do a disappearing act. That said, I don't think I could be her friend under the circumstances. If you agreed to play the "friend," you'd be doing something dishonest. You'd only be accpeting the role as a means of staying in her life and hopefully rekindling something. That isn't really fair.
2sunny Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 looks like she's being honest with you - how refreshing! i wish everyone in the world would make things this simple... she's done you a huge favor. accept that it's over and move forward.
Author thelover Posted June 20, 2010 Author Posted June 20, 2010 She did mention something about how her mother basically talked her into making the decision. But again, this is all out of my hands and there's nothing left for me to do but dance away and move forward in strength, confidence, and love. She had the courage to tell me face to face, and I'll always respect her for that. You could be right in that she has done me a huge favor here. I'll try focusing on the positive side of the situation.
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