espec10001 Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 I'm 27 and I have a good job but I live at home with my parents and siblings. The main reason being is I've lived in apartments in the past and I honestly don't enjoy living in apartments it feels too cramped to me. I need space and room and apartments just don't have enough for me. So I'm saving for a house and I can save more and quicker by splitting rent with my folks. Is living at home with your parents at my age a deal breaker with a girl even if I'm saving for a house because I don't want to live in an apartment? Financially it just seems to be smarter to stay at home while I save up the $$$ for a nice house, but it seems like you have to have your own place before girls even consider you. I get along with my family and I'm a traditional family guy so I honestly don't see anything wrong with it but would you as a girl?
Art_Critic Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 I guess it depends on how long you have been living with them and how much longer you will be... If you have never lived on your own and you are 27 then women are going to count that one against you.. If you have lived on your own and just moved back for 6 months or so to save up for a down payment then they will not count living at home against you... There isn't anything wrong with living at home unless it is stopping you from living your own life.. In other words... If you don't have to live at home at 27 then don't.. let your parents live their lives and you go live yours but if you need them then by all means thats what parents are there for...
JohnnyDrama Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 I'm 27 and I have a good job but I live at home with my parents and siblings. The main reason being is I've lived in apartments in the past and I honestly don't enjoy living in apartments it feels too cramped to me. I need space and room and apartments just don't have enough for me. So I'm saving for a house and I can save more and quicker by splitting rent with my folks. Is living at home with your parents at my age a deal breaker with a girl even if I'm saving for a house because I don't want to live in an apartment? Financially it just seems to be smarter to stay at home while I save up the $$$ for a nice house, but it seems like you have to have your own place before girls even consider you. I get along with my family and I'm a traditional family guy so I honestly don't see anything wrong with it but would you as a girl? Certainly not a female but as a guy at 31 in a similar situation if the girl really wants to get to know you, and likes you for the fact you have a good job, making the attempt to save etc.. There shouldn't be an issue for you to find a girl.
JohnnyDrama Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 I guess it depends on how long you have been living with them and how much longer you will be... If you have never lived on your own and you are 27 then women are going to count that one against you.. If you have lived on your own and just moved back for 6 months or so to save up for a down payment then they will not count living at home against you... There isn't anything wrong with living at home unless it is stopping you from living your own life.. In other words... If you don't have to live at home at 27 then don't.. let your parents live their lives and you go live yours but if you need them then by all means thats what parents are there for... +1 very well said.
Ruby Slippers Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 Yeah, I would think "mama's boy", and that is a big turnoff. And I would think that if you can't handle living in a "cramped" apartment, you are prissy/not very tough. Plus, you have no place where we can run free, get naked, and have wild sex? What are we going to do, always hang out at my place? It's that or go to your place and hang out with your mom.
hopesndreams Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 You are way too old to be living with mum and dad. It's a turn off.
Author espec10001 Posted June 18, 2010 Author Posted June 18, 2010 Yeah, I would think "mama's boy", and that is a big turnoff. And I would think that if you can't handle living in a "cramped" apartment, you are prissy/not very tough. Plus, you have no place where we can run free, get naked, and have wild sex? What are we going to do, always hang out at my place? It's that or go to your place and hang out with your mom. YOU CAN'T RUN FREE IN AN APARTMENT!!! That's why I don't want to live in one again geez! Did you even read my OP?
Author espec10001 Posted June 18, 2010 Author Posted June 18, 2010 So when I get a nice house magically I'll be a turn on. America at it's finest!!!
Art_Critic Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 YOU CAN'T RUN FREE IN AN APARTMENT!!! She does bring up a good point though Espec10001.. What would happen if you got involved with a girl and the relationship was to the point where you guys were having sex ? Having sex in the car can only happen a few times and after that it is time for some one on one time without having to go to your room. Who would have sex with their parents in the same house ?..
hopesndreams Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 So when I get a nice house magically I'll be a turn on. America at it's finest!!! Where the hay did you get that from?
JohnnyDrama Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 Yeah, I would think "mama's boy", and that is a big turnoff. And I would think that if you can't handle living in a "cramped" apartment, you are prissy/not very tough. Plus, you have no place where we can run free, get naked, and have wild sex? What are we going to do, always hang out at my place? It's that or go to your place and hang out with your mom. Living in a cramped apt has no relation to whether somebody is prissy or not very tough. All circumstances are relative where I live the unemployment rate is hovering around a beautiful 15%, homes are being foreclosed, there are very few apartments as well since that's taken up by college kids. I can drive down a street a few blocks away in a nice neighbourhood where 3 houses are boarded up and foreclosed. So if the crunch is hitting some of the good houses what do you think is going to happen to people just out of college and putting money together? Sorry I went off track but you need to consider the big picture and not have tunnel vision.
VertexSquared Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 I think most women would find it a turn-off because such a guy comes across as overly protected/not capable of self-sustaining. You may be "saving up," but for any dating prospects, you'll still come across as someone who hasn't yet been able to leave the nest. Furthermore, you can't really call your own shots like you can having your own place. Lack of privacy is also not very sexy.
Author espec10001 Posted June 18, 2010 Author Posted June 18, 2010 The thing is though I've lived in several apartments before. I've lived on my own plenty already and in college. I need space because I want to build a recording studio and I work on guitars and I want a garage I can call my work place to build guitars. I can't get that in an apartment/condo. I thought it was an attractive trait to be family oriented. I want to raise a family in MY house so my children and wife can be secure and have a good home to enjoy. If I'm constantly renting, then my ability to save for a good size down payment will take much longer. Why this is considered an unattractive trait in today's society is beyond me. I thought women would love a family oriented man who wants to secure a nice home to raise children without going too deep into debt! It just irks me when women won't give you the time of day because you have a "saver" mentality and not a "spender".
Art_Critic Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 The thing is though I've lived in several apartments before. I've lived on my own plenty already and in college. I need space because I want to build a recording studio and I work on guitars and I want a garage I can call my work place to build guitars. I can't get that in an apartment/condo. I thought it was an attractive trait to be family oriented. I want to raise a family in MY house so my children and wife can be secure and have a good home to enjoy. If I'm constantly renting, then my ability to save for a good size down payment will take much longer. There isn't anything wrong with this... Maybe it is in how you tell the women or what you tell them rather than the fact you live there that is the problem. How long have you lived with your parents ?
Author espec10001 Posted June 18, 2010 Author Posted June 18, 2010 There isn't anything wrong with this... Maybe it is in how you tell the women or what you tell them rather than the fact you live there that is the problem. How long have you lived with your parents ? I've lived with them now for about 5 months. The thing is though I get along with not just my parents but my siblings pretty well. I absolutely do miss the freedom of being on my own but I keep telling myself when I finally get that house I've always wanted all this sacrifice will be worth it. I just don't find going into debt to be a wise financial decision especially during these economic times. And if I do go into debt such as a mortgage then I try my best to put as large a downpayment as I can on it and pay off the debt ASAP. Isn't this sound financial planning or am I preaching to the choir?
Woggle Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 Struggling and living in a dump is how you earn your stripes as an adult. I lived in some real dumps in my years and it helped to build me to what I have.
Art_Critic Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 I've lived with them now for about 5 months. The thing is though I get along with not just my parents but my siblings pretty well. I absolutely do miss the freedom of being on my own but I keep telling myself when I finally get that house I've always wanted all this sacrifice will be worth it. I just don't find going into debt to be a wise financial decision especially during these economic times. And if I do go into debt such as a mortgage then I try my best to put as large a downpayment as I can on it and pay off the debt ASAP. Isn't this sound financial planning or am I preaching to the choir? Of course it will be worth it.. and it is good financial planning.. 5 months isn't that bad and by the sounds of it your have the end game planned. How are your parents about dates ?.. Do you bring dates home to meet them ? A girl worth her salt and who is interested in you will see right past where you live in this situation.. It might be the impression your are giving the girls about it that is turning it into a turnoff.. It sounds to me that you need to work on your spin some.. minimize your parents house kind of stuff and talk about your new home some..
that girl Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 I don't think it is a big deal, but some women do. My cousin lived at home until he was 30, when he bought a house and he managed to have several girlfriends in his 20s.
Krytie TV Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 Another problem is that you're lumped in with all of those "savers" that have been "saving for a down payment" for 4 or 5 years. Women know that saying you're a saver does not make you one. Also, if you are really just saving for a bit to get a house and you are already 5 months along, why do you care about this so much? It seems like you are so close to your goal that you may not even have to worry about it. How long do you plan to be saving? Years?
Ruby Slippers Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 Struggling and living in a dump is how you earn your stripes as an adult. I lived in some real dumps in my years and it helped to build me to what I have. Exactly. Thank you, Woggle. I myself have happily lived in some ****holes to get to where I am now. Currently, I live in a small house that, though it's a little rough around the edges, is in a major city and has a yard and a nice big evergreen tree. I'm also a musician, so I don't like having shared walls and having to worry about bugging my neighbors when I'm playing, singing my guts out, and recording my music at night. I lived with a guy who didn't really get out on his own till his mid-20s, and though he was a good boyfriend for the most part, the fact that he was a major mama's boy and his crazy family was all up our grills all the damn time posed some problems that ultimately ended us. Like it or not, American values revolve around independence, self enterprise, self reliance. If you want a bunch of women who don't mind guys who live with mom and wait to cut the cord till they get married, you're going to have to move to Mexico, Italy, Spain, or similar. And don't get mad at us for being honest about what we want. Would you rather we lie to you and you keep striking out with women?
Woggle Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 To be fair I moved out at age 16 because my home situation was just unbearable and I had no choice but to rely on myself. If he really does follow through and buy the house maybe it is not such a bad decision. I had no choice but to live in a drug infested tenement stepping over junkies passed out on the stairs because I didn't trust the elevator.
Krytie TV Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 You also have to wonder how someone who has the inkling to go home to the parents when things are not "as they like them" will respond to real life when the sh*t hits the fan. Will they run away to the parents? With no track record, how is a girl to know?
suprisinginsight Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 (edited) The thing is though I've lived in several apartments before. I've lived on my own plenty already and in college. I need space because I want to build a recording studio and I work on guitars and I want a garage I can call my work place to build guitars. I can't get that in an apartment/condo. I thought it was an attractive trait to be family oriented. I want to raise a family in MY house so my children and wife can be secure and have a good home to enjoy. If I'm constantly renting, then my ability to save for a good size down payment will take much longer. Why this is considered an unattractive trait in today's society is beyond me. I thought women would love a family oriented man who wants to secure a nice home to raise children without going too deep into debt! It just irks me when women won't give you the time of day because you have a "saver" mentality and not a "spender". Well why worry cause its obvious any women that doesn't appreciate the fact your saving up for a house, by making a financially responsible decision is not even worth your time of day for 2 simple facts. 1. They are probably not financially responible themselves or... 2. Gold diggers At least for me these 2 traits are major dealbreakers. And it stands to reason that either one of these traits will ultimately be a liablity in the relationship. Granted that there are other factors involved that the previous posts did touch on. ie being indenpendent, mamma's boy, etc... Edited June 18, 2010 by suprisinginsight
Mimolicious Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 I don't think is a deal breaker. As long as the reason why you are still living at home are true and soon enough to get the ball rolling on buying your own place, I dont see why a girl wouldn't date you. It actually shows that you hae goals and ambition. Just meet your goals though! You'd be surprised. A girl can have her own place and would be open for you to come and stay over here and there.
SilentVoice Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 Take a hiatus from serious dating .. why stress yourself. You are working on saving and helping yourself ,do that. Don't let the "idea" of finding someone and having them deal with your situation be a problem to you.
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