Blindeyes Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 Do you ever call just to let them know how much their actions have hurt you. I am all bottled up inside and feel that If I just let him know how he has hurt me...then at least he will begin to know that he did something wrong. I wish that he only would have picked someone else to hurt...I am not one who is handling it well. I cant understand when people say ...move on.....forget about it... Should I just call to let him know I am hurt and I really Love hime?
ADF Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 No, you shouldn't call. He already knows he hurt you. He knows, and he doesn't care. If he didn't care enough not to hurt you, why would hearing about it now make him care? It will just make you look weak and needy.
sean1970 Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 Do you ever call just to let them know how much their actions have hurt you. I am all bottled up inside and feel that If I just let him know how he has hurt me...then at least he will begin to know that he did something wrong. I wish that he only would have picked someone else to hurt...I am not one who is handling it well. I cant understand when people say ...move on.....forget about it... Should I just call to let him know I am hurt and I really Love hime? There would be no LS if everyone handled it well... No, unlike other canines, you cant drag him across the carpet, rub his nose in the $hit he just took on your carpet, and have him realize the cleaning bill he just left you. An added bonus by doing anything like that is that you are telling him its still bothering you and reeks of desperation. Focus more on you... Less on him...
Ilovecake Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 No, they don't want to hear it. If he cared whether you were hurting or not he would call you. The only thing you will accomplish by calling him is loss of self respect and dignity. If you call you will sound desperate and nobody finds desperation attractive. You will feel worse when the call is over because it was awkward and he didn't beg you to take him back. You will be back to feeling the way you did the minute he told you it's over. I told my ex that he hurt me more than anyone before and that was the final nail in the coffin. Before that he still acted like he cared and was being attentive and nice when we spoke, after I told him that he started acting weird, mean and uncomfortable around me until we finally stopped talking. What I suggest you do is write him a long letter but whatever you do don’t send it. Either put it away or burn it after you write it.
cdt76 Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 No. They don't care how you feel and won't listen to you anyway, because then they will feel bad and heaven knows they can't handle that!
deux ex machina Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 It won't change anything if you let him know. Or rather, it might - but only by making you feel much worse. Now is the time to put the focus where I'm guessing it hasn't been for quite a while: on yourself, independently of him. All that telling him this stuff will accomplish is giving you more questions than answers. Questions that you will never get a satisfactory answer to. If you call him, I think you will regret it.
norajane Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 Should I just call to let him know I am hurt and I really Love hime? Good lord, no! Especially not the way you are capitalizing Love. Write it all down in a journal and get it out of your system that way - write everything you want to say. Then put it away, far away, lock it in a safe in the basement or something. Whenever you feel yourself in the depth of your emotions, write some more, and then put it away again. I promise, you will look back on it and be so very glad that you never said that stuff to him!
D-Lish Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 As ADF said, pointing out what he already knows he did isn't going to change anything. Telling him how much he hurt you only continues to give him power over you. That stagnates your healing process by keeping you in the role of the victim.
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