Blindeyes Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 [sIZE=3]Should I feel guilty? It has never gotten better for me, despite the changes I have made. Yes, I do want to die!![/sIZE] [sIZE=3]I cannot take this last rejection…it is burning me. Why is he so happy? How could he just leave me alone without warning? I have to drive by him every day and I see him outside of his shop…laughing and enjoying himself. He just got a new car (Mercedes Benz SUV) he looks so happy. He told me he loved me up until the day he just stopped calling me. It’s been about a month. Why doesn’t he care that he hurt me. Every day is a living hell for me. I want to call him so bad but feel stupid knowing that if he wanted to talk to me…he would call. Do you know what it feels like to walk around with a gulp in your throat and a serious feeling of emptiness. I know they say it will get better etc etc etc…what will get better? I just want to know how someone could just act like the past year and a half never existed. What does “I love you” mean again? [/sIZE]
Shakz Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 Screw him! He lied to you. This world is full of a-holes. You are strong, you are independent, you are gorgeous. You don't need his kind of BS. You can love. Pity him. He cannot.
Heatemyheart89 Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 i love you can just be a feeling. So what he has changed his mind doesnt mean your unlovable. Screw what hes doing work on enjoying yourself!!!!!!
Author Blindeyes Posted June 18, 2010 Author Posted June 18, 2010 And even when I work on enjoying myself...I get this overwhelming feeling of sadness because I miss him. There has been no closure. He just stopped calling after a seemingly wonderful relationship. I guess I am effed up..but i have started to drink at night just so that I could go to sleep and stop thinking about him for once. Which is really sad considering I have never ever ever had a history of drugs or alcohol abuse. I just hate how happy he looks while how terrible I feel. BTW I hold up very well on the outside and I even go to work and talk with my family with a smile _- a fake smile. I just don't understand how one could deliberately hurt another. Should I call him to let him know...how bad it is for me...how much I am suffering?
Shakz Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 And even when I work on enjoying myself...I get this overwhelming feeling of sadness because I miss him. There has been no closure. He just stopped calling after a seemingly wonderful relationship. I guess I am effed up..but i have started to drink at night just so that I could go to sleep and stop thinking about him for once. Which is really sad considering I have never ever ever had a history of drugs or alcohol abuse. I just hate how happy he looks while how terrible I feel. BTW I hold up very well on the outside and I even go to work and talk with my family with a smile _- a fake smile. I just don't understand how one could deliberately hurt another. Should I call him to let him know...how bad it is for me...how much I am suffering? No. He doesn't care about you. If you call him it will only satisfy his demented ego. What about you? What about your ego? Remember who you are, what you are, and that you are somebody. A real person, not a fake like him.
sean1970 Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 Should I call him to let him know...how bad it is for me...how much I am suffering? Offering your dignity for "closure" will leave you with neither...
Shakz Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 Offering your dignity for "closure" will leave you with neither... Well put, Sean.
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