LoveLace Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 I've known this dude for years but just a few months ago we hung out a few times and it got physical. But he was also just a good caring friend as I was to him, so after while I realized I liked it better that way without the "benefits"...in other words realized I didn't have truly romantic feelings for him, perhaps I just enjoyed his attention. A couple times I made excuses not to hang out, then we didn't make contact for a few months. However I did feel kind of bad just because he is really a genuine, supportive and cool guy. 1) My level of attraction was only to a small extent and 2) His very hyper personality is something I can only handle so much of...no matter who it is. I had thought about checking how he was doing, but I didn't want that to lead him on. Last night he texted, we caught up, told him I will be moving soon. He even offered to help me move even though we haven't talked in a while. He asked about hanging out, so I said yes but with moving I don't know when. Then he says, "let me take you out to dinner"...he's so sweet like that...I couldn't bring myself to say no. So we set a date for next week. I look forward to catching up with him and of course I'm flattered to be taken out to dinner; but I know I don't want a relationship with him...and only like him as a friend. Part of me wonders if a date will change my mind, part of me wants to give this a chance to take on a new direction with someone. But if that doesn't happen, is it horrible to end the date by telling him I only want friendship?
White Dove Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 He seems to really like you so it's only fair for you to let him know that you're only up for a friendship before agreeing to the dinner -- to save yourself from being accused of leading him on.
Author LoveLace Posted June 18, 2010 Author Posted June 18, 2010 He seems to really like you so it's only fair for you to let him know that you're only up for a friendship before agreeing to the dinner -- to save yourself from being accused of leading him on. So now that i've agreed to dinner, I should cancel and say nevermind I only want friendship? Because I DO want to hang out with him I just don't know that I want it in a romantic way. But we've also never been in a "romantic" kind of setting. So part of me doesn't want to pass up something that could be good. I feel like he deserves a chance with me, I just don't know if I'll want to take it beyond dinner or not, depending on how I feel while I'm there.
White Dove Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 So now that i've agreed to dinner, I should cancel and say nevermind I only want friendship? Because I DO want to hang out with him I just don't know that I want it in a romantic way. But we've also never been in a "romantic" kind of setting. So part of me doesn't want to pass up something that could be good. I feel like he deserves a chance with me, I just don't know if I'll want to take it beyond dinner or not, depending on how I feel while I'm there. I'm sorry, I missed the part where you agreed to the dinner. To cancel it would be flaky, don't you think so? Okay, why don't you go ahead with it and see how it goes? Seeing that you have never been on a romantic setting with him, you wouldn't know what could come out of it
Author LoveLace Posted June 18, 2010 Author Posted June 18, 2010 I'm sorry, I missed the part where you agreed to the dinner. To cancel it would be flaky, don't you think so? Okay, why don't you go ahead with it and see how it goes? Seeing that you have never been on a romantic setting with him, you wouldn't know what could come out of it Yes we already set a date for dinner, so I don't want to cancel at this point. He's a great guy, just not one I"ve ever pictured myself with in that way...but how often do we end up with exactly what we've imagined? Even though I felt one way a few months ago, this time might be different so I think he's worth it to find out, but if my feelings don't change I won't lead him on beyond that and I'll just be honest that I like it better as friends...but who knows if I dont come out of it with a whole new perspective. Thanks.
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