HowCouldShe Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 Has anyone ever heard of this situation? It's been 5 months since the break and i'm still clueless and hurt. She left about 2 weeks after the birth of our child. She took my kid (couldn't see him for a month), she was staying at her mom's the whole time...then came back to town and 3 weeks later she was dating some guy from her work. (apprx. 2 months after our breakup) She had been talking to this guy last summer while she was pregnant but then it just stopped. I believe she had him on the string the whole time. (and in case anyone is wondering... YES i've had a DNA test and YES the child is mine) She never gave me a 2nd chance, just came home one day and all her stuff was gone and my son was gone. There was alot of verbal arguments during the relationship but again...no 2nd chance, no counseling, etc. She just moved right on... I could understand if our child wasn't involved but I just thought when there was a baby that we just had there would be some kind of loyalty or "want" to work it out on her part. It never came though... Now she's w/ this guy that she works with and she says they are so "in love" and I feel like I was replaced like i was nothing. I was barely able to have my son spend the night on Father's Day this Sunday...she said the reason was she "had plans for our son and her boyfriend"... Everything is cold and icey on her part and it's like we never loved at all. We're in the middle of a custody battle and there is so much hate and anger because she doesn't want me to have any rights over my son! The kicker to this whole thing is I asked her to marry me on Christmas Eve and she said yes. Then 3 weeks later when she left I found the ring in a pill bottle So she's not only replaced me in the relationship, but she's trying to replace me as a father. It hurts worse than anything in my life.
Author HowCouldShe Posted June 18, 2010 Author Posted June 18, 2010 ugh... it's like everything these days in an arguement with her. She wont even discuss things unless it has to do w/ our son. ICE COLD!
spyyder Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 (edited) Its difficult for you because you were never married, so things like proving she was seeing someone else before you broke up won't help you much in court. I think that if things get serious you could argue that she is introducing the child to her new boyfriend, so if (or when) they break up the child would have serious emotional issues. You need to watch out, because there are thousands of single dads that spend years in court trying to get their child back but unfortunately in the current legal system the child never really belongs to the father's (pretty messed up right), father is only there for support. Legally your the child's father, until the mother decides to cut you out. Don't bother trying to get your ex back, because from what I've read, she is gone. Because she only stayed for 2 weeks after your child's birth, I think she wanted to leave months before but didn't want the drama at that important time, wanted to use you for support during her pregnancy period and wanted you to support her just after the baby was born. She really used you man. Forget about her. She isn't interested in you anymore, and she doesn't care. Personally, I broke up with my ex, she gave me a second chance but she also cares which keeps me going. For you your ex doesn't care about you at all, your feelings at all (how could she do what she did) and believe me you may want her but she's bad for you. You say she's ice cold with you, thats because she doesn't value the importance of family, loyalty, love and care...she only values herself. You have to good routes. Either try to get your child back (could be a very expensive court battle) or try to cut your losses by telling her that you'll not fight for custody if she agrees to not ask for any child support. Edited June 18, 2010 by spyyder
Author HowCouldShe Posted June 21, 2010 Author Posted June 21, 2010 i'll never give up my child. I'll go broke if I have to trying to get custody. She didnt even wish me a happy fathers day. I know we're not together, but atleast on Mother's Day when she came over to pick up my son I gave her a hug and gave her a card from him. I didn't even get an aknowledgement. It's funny how fast you can go from crazy in love to nothing but ice and hate.
Author HowCouldShe Posted June 21, 2010 Author Posted June 21, 2010 So is this normal or am I dealing with some mentally troubled person... i've never known someone to turn on a dime like she did, especially after a child was born...
Author HowCouldShe Posted June 22, 2010 Author Posted June 22, 2010 why is it so hard to get responses to my situation? lol... is it that unheard of? I'm in the dark here... i'm so freaking hurt and I need help.
AlwaysConflicted Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 I'm not sure why you're having trouble getting responses...this is one of the most messed up stories I've seen. I've never heard of this particular story, but similar. Somewhere along the line, she fell out of love with you. The guy from work was on the peripheral filling the "happiness" void. Was she always this cold in your relationship? I don't understand why she's being so protective about the child when he/she is 1/2 your DNA. Are you trying to win her back? Her actions are beyond cruel. As for what to do? G-d this hard for me to answer because I don't have kids. Maybe this is why you're not getting any posts because you need to make the toughest choice in the world. Do you take care of yourself or your child? I can't answer that for you, but I will say this. It's not important that you win all the battles, just win the war. So maybe that translates to - take care of yourself and when you're better go after the custody. I'm sorry for your pain. I'm in pain as well, but even I have the perspective to see you're in more pain than me. Keep posting. There are some vets on this forum that will give more profound advice. Grayclouds? Can you help this guy?
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