SidLyon Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 Just wondered if anyone ever got in trouble or caught because of posting on love shack. Its sorta scary to bare it all? My H knows I read and sometimes post. I have no idea if he ever checks out my posts. I guess as a BW I have less interest in secrecy than if I were an AP (OW/M or MM/W). Ages ago I mentioned the OW's first name on LS and gave enough details so she could be identified if it just so happened that anyone who knows her ever posts here. I probably wouldn't mind people knowing who I am in real life as I have nothing to hide. However I wouldn't want to expose myself and my family to a potential bunny boiler who might vicariously decide to take action against us on behalf of the real OW. It's probably not a realistic concern, but better to be safe than sorry they say.
CrayonAngel Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 I used to post ALOT back when my H and I were having some major troubles and he would get on here and read what I had wrote..It broke his heart sometimes..and I told him it probably wasn't a good idea to get on here to read the things I would write and peoples responses..but he did. After I would have a meltdown day he would read it later on..In a way I think it helped..I never held back on here and sometimes it was things I was afraid to say to him...it was like he was stepping inside my head.
Trimmer Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 (edited) I always point out that LS is decidely NOT "private", but that it is anonymous to the degree that you wish/need to protect your identity. Some folks are very open from the outset, and others are very protected from the outset. As long as you establish how you're going to be and post accordingly, that works great. It's when you change mid-stream that you've got a problem, either being a "public" person and posting something too personal, or being an "anonymous" poster, but posting something that may identify you. A few years back, a poster on here was accosted through PM by someone who claimed to know his/her identity. This poster asked me, in PM, what I thought, based on what had been posted on the forum. It was a discussion in which he/she had quoted an excerpt from something that had been published. After some thoughtful googling, I was able to find the original publication of the quoted material, and then based on the location of that publication, and various correllations between subject matter in the quoted material and comments in other parts of this person's postings, I was able to nail down with some confidence the block on which this person worked, including a satellite photograph (kid stuff, these days...) and a list of 2 or 3 establishments, one of which I had confidence the person was an employee of. All this took place via PM, and it was done upon the request of the poster for my advice, but even so, it kinda freaked me out myself... If you wish to remain anonymous, be scrupulously careful about what you post, both from the perspective of an "incoming search" (someone who knows you well enough in real life to google details and possibly end up on an LS page with one of your postings) as well as an "outgoing search" (an LS member, putting together enough information from your postings here to search you out and find you in real life, as in my example above...) Edited June 19, 2010 by Trimmer
Adunaphel Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 Don't mean to threadjack, but Adunaphel mentioned something I've thought about in that my stbdmm doesn't know anything about this place or that I post. It's not that I have to keep in a secret from him, it's just that I consider it my private little thing and my private thoughts about our prior affair and some of the fall out. Sometimes I feel a little bit guilty about it, does that makes sense? I am very familiar with that feeling of guilt. Have you ever considered mentioning your partner that you used to post on a love and relationship forum, in a totally anonymous way, when you needed to talk with someone about the situation? It worked with me - eased the annoying sense of guilt.
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