kis Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 Just wondered if anyone ever got in trouble or caught because of posting on love shack. Its sorta scary to bare it all?
BB07 Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 I think if you are pretty careful about not posting TMI such as names, locations and not using the same name as you might use elsewhere you are probably pretty safe, oh and not exchanging personal PM's with personal info with just anybody and everybody. There is probably a story or two about someone getting outed.....it will be interesting to hear. There have been a few times when a new poster has posted and I've wondered if it was a BS in disguise.
Fallen Angel Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 Yes, there have been some. I am one of those who posts TMI all the time. I am one of very few who use my real photograph as my avatar. I am one who is not ashamed, and refuses to be made to feel as though i need to hide in the shadows. My sweetheart knows i post here. My sweetheart knows I use my real photo. He does not appear bothered. We are also very publicly linked on several "social networking" sites, where he is often found publicly speaking of his love for me. If he feels no need to hide me online in places that are linked to him, why should I feel the need to hide myself online in a place that is NOT linked to him? *shrug* I think it is simply a matter of time before all affairs are "publicly outed" anyway. Why be more concerned here where you can hide behind a screen name and a silly avatar in anonimity than you are in your own town sitting across (or next to him) in your favorite booth in your favorite neighborhood deli?
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 There was someone a while ago who dished out enough information to bust herself and her high profile MM several times over: people were actually able to find out who he was by name. There have been cross-forum 'outings' as well. The way I see it, if you don't care who knows what about you then post what you like. If you stand to lose out big time or get hurt by others finding out stuff then be careful. Particularly in this part of the forum.
carhill Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 LOL, I'm so plastered all over the internet my name oughta be Al Gore I've gotten used to the black helicopters circling
jj33 Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 FA I think you may be a little bit too calm about that. You wouldnt want to out your sweetheart because someone recognized you? I think most people are careful to post in a such a way that they wont be identified. Still its possible that if your spouse read it, they might recognize your writing style? I posted too many details at the beginning and have been careful since. I wouldnt want my identity known. Not because I am ashamed but because it could cause damage and embarrassment to a lot of people.
Fallen Angel Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 FA I think you may be a little bit too calm about that. You wouldnt want to out your sweetheart because someone recognized you? I think most people are careful to post in a such a way that they wont be identified. Still its possible that if your spouse read it, they might recognize your writing style? I posted too many details at the beginning and have been careful since. I wouldnt want my identity known. Not because I am ashamed but because it could cause damage and embarrassment to a lot of people. LOL.. I can see how someone who thinks that his wife does not know would think I was being a bit too "calm" about it. But despite what LS conventional wisdom seems to deem as the truth. The truth in my relationship is that there has been a D-day. There have been many (mini d-days) since. She knows. I know she knows. He knows she knows and she knows she knows... we all know. Hence, while we do not flaunt things in her face, we do not either go to great lengths to hide in the shadows. She does not know much about me personally, unless of course she has hired a detective *shrug* but she well knows I exist. She has access to my phone number, and can call me any time she wants to. He knows that if she does I will not lie to her. It is an eventuality, not a possibility as far as I am concerned. My friends and family know the details of my relationship. My only real concern would be if one of his children were to happen upon it online. But I seriously doubt that happening here. It is much more likely on one of the social networking sites I spoke of previously.
StoptheDrama Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 Just wondered if anyone ever got in trouble or caught because of posting on love shack. Its sorta scary to bare it all? Recently there was an instance of an obvious couple -husband (WS) and wife (BS) - posting on the Infidelity forum....that was interesting... As for me, I don't worry about it much. Although Joey brought it up in a thread and it made me stop and think for a second... I'm quite careful about not revealing too much but all in all I don't think I have much to worry about. I have posted the truth and, although my xMM could certainly figure out my identity if he read all of my posts, I don't think he would do anything with it. The last thing in this world he would want is to be found out - for the truth to be known and his good guy/family man image to be shattered. That being said, I am not about to change my moniker to my name or upload a picture of myself. I value my anonymity as that is what has given me the freedom to express myself on LS thereby helping me to end a very toxic and destructive relationship. Kis - it can be scary as you're essentially baring all to the world but, if you're careful, you should have nothing to worry about.
whichwayisup Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 My only real concern would be if one of his children were to happen upon it online. But I seriously doubt that happening here. Kids eventually google their parents...
White Flower Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 My MM busted me actually. Spark started a thread about what (lies) MM told us to get us to believe they were not in love with/sleeping with/ enjoying life with their W. Even though I made a very undetailed post he did not like what I alluded to. I'd forgotten that I told him about LS back in '07 when I joined and more importantly I'd forgotten that I told him what my username was. When I did, he said LS was my santuary, a sort of free counseling, and alluded to never wandering into that territory. But last December when I'd really had it and ended the A he got on here thinking I would post my breakup to the world and found the post about when he'd told me about the condition of his M when we first met. He was a little steamed but I put him in his place. My santcuary, right? It made me wonder if he'd been reading my posts all along or if it was ever only that one time. I guess I will never know.
bittersweet memories Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 I think if you are pretty careful about not posting TMI such as names, locations and not using the same name as you might use elsewhere you are probably pretty safe, oh and not exchanging personal PM's with personal info with just anybody and everybody. There is probably a story or two about someone getting outed.....it will be interesting to hear. There have been a few times when a new poster has posted and I've wondered if it was a BS in disguise. Also Most of the stories are soooo similiar..so it would be hard to know. Unless of course you use real names etc..
White Flower Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 There have been a few times when a new poster has posted and I've wondered if it was a BS in disguise. Ha ha, I think we call those trolls;). But yeah, I'm sure some of them aren't trying to be mean to OW, just fishing for info.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 Just wondered if anyone ever got in trouble or caught because of posting on love shack. Its sorta scary to bare it all? I'm not even in a A and i'm a little nervous about people recognizing me im currently thinking about the hole social networking thing *shutters* as Ive recently seen some family useing it. And tho it would be a nice way to keep in touch as I live far from them I still dunno know like a very good friend of mine said once. Why would I want to advertise everything thats going on in my life so openly like that? To be honest even LS makes me nervous at times thats why I make a real effort now not to reveal that much about myself but then again i'm a extremely private person in real life so i'm prob not the best to ask lol Kids eventually google their parents... Oh wow that would be horrible for them imagen that and your right Ive googled just about every one I know and you would be surprised the stuff one can find
Tony T Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 If people are incapable of keeping their anonymous member name confidential and not compromising their true identity to people in this forum, there should never be a problem. Members who access LoveShack in places where people can come behind them and go straight to the site are not using discretion. LoveShack provides so many degrees of privacy I just have to think that those who have their confidential information compromised subconsciously wanted that to happen. Otherwise, it only takes a very little effort to keep things confidential in this forum.
pureinheart Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 My MM busted me actually. Spark started a thread about what (lies) MM told us to get us to believe they were not in love with/sleeping with/ enjoying life with their W. Even though I made a very undetailed post he did not like what I alluded to. I'd forgotten that I told him about LS back in '07 when I joined and more importantly I'd forgotten that I told him what my username was. When I did, he said LS was my santuary, a sort of free counseling, and alluded to never wandering into that territory. But last December when I'd really had it and ended the A he got on here thinking I would post my breakup to the world and found the post about when he'd told me about the condition of his M when we first met. He was a little steamed but I put him in his place. My santcuary, right? It made me wonder if he'd been reading my posts all along or if it was ever only that one time. I guess I will never know. Most definitly WF (saying this with authority...lol)! After being in a NC mode for a few months (can't remember the exact amount) during this time exDM (then MM) was stalking me...this is how I happened on LS...I was searching for answers concerning his behavior and a post from LS came up and I signed up. The people at that time helped me understand various things that caused full steam ahead on the NC...exDM rebelled bigtime and then the drama. LS was the first forum I had ever been on so I didn't understand a lot and was traumatized due to what his family was trying to do to me...well having gotten really good advice home girl proceeded to post away (like FA...lol)... After a couple of weeks I got this really weird post to one of my threads...I really think it was exDM...it was his style everything...it made me feel really weird and REALLY stalked so I quit posting until recently...it totally weirded me out:eek:
White Flower Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 After a couple of weeks I got this really weird post to one of my threads...I really think it was exDM...it was his style everything...it made me feel really weird and REALLY stalked so I quit posting until recently...it totally weirded me out:eek: Wow, now that is crazy!
Adunaphel Posted June 18, 2010 Posted June 18, 2010 Just wondered if anyone ever got in trouble or caught because of posting on love shack. Its sorta scary to bare it all? Sometimes I wonder whether I gave out too much information. A few years ago I mentioned my age, location and first name. I also told a male friend of mine that I posted on this website. The worst that could happen is that someone might recognize me (very unlikely) and dig up my old threads. But then *they* would have a problem, because they'd have to be obsessed with me to look for my old skeletons in the closet. I'd feel a bit embarassed if my current partner found out my posts on here. But last time I flirted with someone on LS I was single, the past is the past and any issue concerning him I brought up on here I already discussed with him...
BB07 Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 Don't mean to threadjack, but Adunaphel mentioned something I've thought about in that my stbdmm doesn't know anything about this place or that I post. It's not that I have to keep in a secret from him, it's just that I consider it my private little thing and my private thoughts about our prior affair and some of the fall out. Sometimes I feel a little bit guilty about it, does that makes sense?
TinaniT Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 Well that is scary. I've posted tons of details and you all know my first name. I'm new to this message board thing. Too late now, though, I suppose?
Fallen Angel Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 Well that is scary. I've posted tons of details and you all know my first name. I'm new to this message board thing. Too late now, though, I suppose? LOL.. I honesty would not worry too much about it. I would say that roughly half of the regular posters to this board know my first name. About the same percentage know the state in which I reside. Several know my whole name, where I live, the name of my sweetheart, could identify him in a picture, know my personal email address, what i do for a living .. the list goes on and on... I am certain that googling your first name would not yield this account of yours as a top 100 search result!
Fallen Angel Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 Don't mean to threadjack, but Adunaphel mentioned something I've thought about in that my stbdmm doesn't know anything about this place or that I post. It's not that I have to keep in a secret from him, it's just that I consider it my private little thing and my private thoughts about our prior affair and some of the fall out. Sometimes I feel a little bit guilty about it, does that makes sense? Have you thought about opening up to him about the fact that you have a place such as LS where you are able to freely discuss the conflicts you feel durring your relationship? I told my sweetheart fairly quickly after I decided that i would be staying on LS for awhile. I find that often conversations that are started here flow over into conversations that I have with him, as I discuss the issues to see where he stands. For example we recently discussed the "is an affair a real relationship" thread, and the "funeral" thread. I now know exactly what he feels about both. No need to guess. No need to accept what he may be thinking as posted by someone else, i simply tell him about the thread, and we discuss how we feel about it. He knows that LS is my place to speak freely, even when i am hurt by something he has done or said. He affords me the respect of staying away and allowing me my space so if I choose to call him an a$$clown, i can do it, get it off my chest and by the time we discuss the issue I have calmed down and have already vented and i am able to discuss the situation rationally. I think you should trust your sweetheart to do the same. He loves you. i am sure he will be more understanding than you are giving him credit for.
BB07 Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 Have you thought about opening up to him about the fact that you have a place such as LS where you are able to freely discuss the conflicts you feel durring your relationship? I told my sweetheart fairly quickly after I decided that i would be staying on LS for awhile. I find that often conversations that are started here flow over into conversations that I have with him, as I discuss the issues to see where he stands. For example we recently discussed the "is an affair a real relationship" thread, and the "funeral" thread. I now know exactly what he feels about both. No need to guess. No need to accept what he may be thinking as posted by someone else, i simply tell him about the thread, and we discuss how we feel about it. He knows that LS is my place to speak freely, even when i am hurt by something he has done or said. He affords me the respect of staying away and allowing me my space so if I choose to call him an a$$clown, i can do it, get it off my chest and by the time we discuss the issue I have calmed down and have already vented and i am able to discuss the situation rationally. I think you should trust your sweetheart to do the same. He loves you. i am sure he will be more understanding than you are giving him credit for. Thanks FA... I have thought about it, but when ever I bring up anything about the past affair, he doesn't really want to talk about it, however he is all about talking about our future, which is a good thing. He is such a private person, that if we ever did talk about me posting here, I'd have to make it clear that it's completely anonymous quickly or he would be upset first thing. Maybe it's just me, but it seems like men are more simplistic about the past, and they don't really want to discuss it, they just want to move on and put it to bed.
GreenEyedLady Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 I used to worry incessantly. Now that we're married, I don't think it matters at all. I mean everyone who knows us already knows, so that doesn't matter. However, it is very important for OW in an A to protect their anonymity. For obvious reasons. GEL
Jaspe_Loco Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 Yep, got caught last December. My MacBook Pro hung during shutdown and the W(now xW) discovered everything. Both me and the OW are now divorced. Except for the xH, we all get along well considering the circumstances.
Fallen Angel Posted June 19, 2010 Posted June 19, 2010 Yep, got caught last December. My MacBook Pro hung during shutdown and the W(now xW) discovered everything. Both me and the OW are now divorced. Except for the xH, we all get along well considering the circumstances. That was the outcome which you were hoping for was it not? even if it did not happen quite the way you intended. Do you think maybe Tony had a point when he said that people who get "caught" on LS sometimes get caught because they subconsciously want to be caught? P.S. I haven't seen you in awhile.. or perhaps i have just been missing your posts in the threads? How are you doing?
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