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why do men ask for your number then not use it?


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Posted

NO NO NO I dont do one night stands or easy sex

 

I told him that as well

 

Listen, if I am honest I am not too bothered about him as I firmly believe that if something is meant to be then it will be. I was just really perplexed as to why he text me asking to see me and asking permission to call me in the week. If he had just not rang at all this thread would not exist he would have been nexted on day 3

Posted
I dont do one night stands or easy sex
BUT

 

In your other thread :

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t234911/

 

he was drop dead hot and as soon as we saw each other the sparks were there. We ended the night kissing for ages
Is this the same guy or different ?

 

Do you really expect anything concrete from the players you meet out on Saturday nights ?

 

All you do is go out on the weekends, meet a guy, and then post on here the following day whining about him.

 

Do you enjoy this repetitive lifestyle ?

 

I think you enjoy the attention on here more than anything.

 

 

.

Posted
why do men ask for your number then not use it?

 

 

For the same reason that the fastest way to get over a romantic heartbreak is to merely identify what you think is another romantic possibility.

 

One need not actually 'get the girl' to be drawn-in enough to the new interest to severely lower the pain from the previous heartbreak.

 

 

In the same way, his merely achieving your phone number inspired him to be significantly content/impressed with himself. (then, suddenly, he starts facing the same old nervous fears and concerns he'd always known when yearning to make small talk with a woman from somewhere).

 

(so in some small way he's then combatting himself in ways common to both heartbreak and a lack of social self-assuredness)

Posted

LOL.

 

Let me ask Lishy another question, how come when a man does call a woman to go out, she acts like she's not interested and becomes a flake???

 

What's up with that?

Posted

Honestly, it honestly became a natural reflex. If I'm talking to a girl and the conversation is fun/playful, I tend to ask their number before parting. Just a habit :p

  • Author
Posted

He contacted me and it now gets weirder as he did not mention meeting up again! Just general chat and then it just stopped

 

Too weird for me

 

I have deleted his number and texts and forgetting him!!!

Posted

The man wanna start from slow motion you get angry, he seems wanna to start it from friendship with you at this point, maybe his head only focus on work, who know?

Posted
He contacted me and it now gets weirder as he did not mention meeting up again! Just general chat and then it just stopped

 

Too weird for me

 

I have deleted his number and texts and forgetting him!!!

 

thats the way to go

Posted

My natural instinct has always been that if I liked a girl, I would call her back reasonably soon so that she didn't end up waiting anxiously like you have.

 

However, I think I'm going to have to stop doing it. It seems like way too often the woman doesn't answer the phone or call me back, even after dates that seemed to have great chemistry with the woman strongly expressing interest.

 

So, I sympathize with your anxiety. But, I think you have to understand that there is a reason that men do this, and it has everything to do with the way women in the past have treated them. I think the most useful thing you can do is try your best to calm down and focus on other things. If he calls you back even if it's after a week, that's great, he is interested. Even if he just calls to talk, maybe that is just the way he thinks he has to do it, because of previous experiences doing it a different way. Quite possibly he very much wanted to call you back the next day but felt like he couldn't.

 

Basically, these days it is absolutely impossible to read anything from how long a person takes to contact you. There are way too many dating rules and bad experiences flying around. People's natural behavior has been altered beyond recognition.

 

Scott

Posted

I've done this on one occasion ever. I started talking up this pretty girl, got her number early on and then decided after talking to her more that evening that she was a standoffish bitch and I had no intention of calling her. But it was a time in my life when I needed to confidence boost of getting her number, so it helped me in that regard.

Posted

When I was single I would some times get a girls number or even begin talking to her and LOSE interest. To avoid the awkward phone call I would just pull the old stop calling and watch her disapear act. I mean what are you going to call them and say "Hey I've lost interest in you and some other girl seems more fun"

Posted
I was just really perplexed as we really connected on a few different levels. You cant make that up and a connection is never one sided.

 

lol. I think he's kind of proven that the "connection" was pretty much one-sided on your end.

 

*edit* Oh & so as not to seem like I'm raggin' you I'll add better luck next time.

Posted
He is not appearing not needy he is appearing to be not interested! I dont even think I would answer the phone if he calls now!

 

It's a shame, he was lovely

 

Whatever you do, try not to take on any idea of fault toward youself. Stuff happens and this one seems to entirly on him. He most certainly owed you something after the text confirmation. It's just impolite to then just leave you hanging.

  • Author
Posted
Whatever you do, try not to take on any idea of fault toward youself. Stuff happens and this one seems to entirly on him. He most certainly owed you something after the text confirmation. It's just impolite to then just leave you hanging.

 

It's all good now hon he just confused me for a minute. He owes me nothing really and he does not know me at all so I wont take it personal. I am just an upfront person so I find it har ddealing with people who say one thing and do another

 

Thanks for your sweet response tho x

Posted

So is it really just not possible to any of you in this thread that that the guy might have just lost his nerve?

I mean he texted her just to ask her permission to call her. That really sounds like somebody confident to you guys? Also if he did text her that means she has his number how about calling him to see what is up?

Posted
I met a guy on Saturday night and we had a great night, he took my number and text me on Monday asking to see me again and said he would call me in the week if that was ok

 

Then nothing!

 

Why did he make the effort to then forget it? Why waste his time and mine?

 

I just dont get it!

 

Men ask women for phone numbers and not call for the same reasons women give out their phone numbers and ignore the calls.

 

Its very simple. He doesn't wanna appear needy or desperate. U women can not stand a man who showers you with attention.

 

Exactly, WHEN TO CALL situation is like bringing a condom with you on a date, damned if you do/damned if you don't. If you do end up going back to her place and she wants to get it on: 1. If you have the condom she will think you went into the date expecting sex or 2. You didn't bring a condom and she's upset because you didn't come prepared and it ruins the moment.

 

 

He is not appearing not needy he is appearing to be not interested! I dont even think I would answer the phone if he calls now!

 

It's a shame, he was lovely

 

Maybe he's weeding YOU out. Maybe this guy is smart and he's looking for a flexible girl, and realized YOU are NOT his type because if he waits a week to call and you get upset/ignore him because he waited a while to call, then he knows you have expectations and aren't flexible on them, saving himself the trouble.

 

How long has it been since he asked for your number lishy? Did he SAY when he was going to call when he got your number? Is there a written rule somewhere that says he HAS to call you in a certain number of days or he's not worthy of your company?

Posted
He may be keeping her on the back burner. He sure seems like a player to me.

 

Lishy can do much better.

 

Lol, how can he be a player if he's not really 'playin'? He's not doing anything...

Posted

 

Let me ask Lishy another question, how come when a man does call a woman to go out, she acts like she's not interested and becomes a flake???

 

What's up with that?

 

 

Same reason he's not calling her... not interested. Not interested enough to call, anyway.

 

Lishy, move on! Plenty more where he came from.

Posted
He's out playing with other women.

 

 

 

I have never met a player who has such lame game that he has to text a woman to ask permission to call her.

Posted

All this stuff about "game" and what not is just a bunch of nonsense.

 

I used to "harvest" womens numbers all the time and never call them. Why, because most of the time women would give you their digits and than mess with you when you call them. They either dont pick up, so you leave a message and they never call you back. So I got to the point of why bother.

 

And for a while I was totally in the groove (not now and have not been in the groove for years now), I could get numbers standing on my head. I just didnt care what they said or thought.

 

I had one beautiful black girl who was a model whom after I finished talking to her, ask me arent you going to ask for my number? My answer was oh yeah. I had no intention of even asking for it because I didnt care. After I got it I of course never called.

 

A lot of the time I used to do it to prove that I could get the number.

 

I used to make 2 contacts be it voice, txt or email. If you dont respond I dont contact you any more. I am not one of those guys who will hound you. I have more self respect than that.

 

Here is the reality I discovered, the person who cares the least controls the relationship. Indifference is king. Women dont respect guys that they can easily get. I had one girl tell me years ago, she has to have a man that she has to work for to get.

Posted
People play games in all different ways. He's clearly acting aloof and it's good to see that she wants no part of that.

 

Thats why she is here complaining that he is not calling? Like I said indifference is king.

Posted

So girls learn how a guy feels when a girl GIVES her number but DOESN'T answer.

Posted
Hey lovely Marlena!!!!!! I have not been here for a while honey! Missed you too xx

 

I am not imagining our connection, I have never laughed so much in so few hours and he was having a ball too!

That is why I am so perplexed that he did not call although I cant shake the feeling that he will call and I am normally negative about things like this

 

ever occur that he may have been faking the 'lovely' time to not make you feel bad?just cuz you had a good time, doesnt necessarily mean he had a genuinely good time. a doesnt always equal b in these cases.

Posted
It's all good now hon he just confused me for a minute. He owes me nothing really and he does not know me at all so I wont take it personal. I am just an upfront person so I find it har ddealing with people who say one thing and do another

 

Thanks for your sweet response tho x

 

then wouldnt you call him and ask him whats up instead of asking wtf and what if?

 

kinda odd how everyone says they are up front people but dont show it.

 

but to each his own, better luck next time.

Posted
then wouldnt you call him and ask him whats up instead of asking wtf and what if?

 

kinda odd how everyone says they are up front people but dont show it.

 

but to each his own, better luck next time.

 

Because she's not an idiot. Confronting him would be completely futile.

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