Author croce Posted June 20, 2010 Author Posted June 20, 2010 Update: I broke up with her late last night over this. She's good with covering for herself though. As I was leaving she said that her browser used to keep her email and password saved on it so she never really had to remember them. And that's why she couldn't recall them at first. But I was pretty resolute still, and left. I asked her if there's any email from myspace to her or any proof of anything happening in any of her email accounts and she said, "No, she deleted everything." So I've inundated this morning with 18 text messages saying, "I wish you would trust me and know I wouldn't hurt you" in various forms.
harmfulsweetz Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 No. Her myspace has always been set to private. The only thing that I have ever seen is her profile pic, name, age, and last account activity. You have to be one of her friends to see her page. And I disagree with you. Phone and email privacy. Yes, I agree. But myspace is just a place to keep up with old friends. A social network. I don't see how anything on there would be bad. Especially since we were dating for months when she went on it regularly (it shouldn't have anything shady on it). Shock! Horror! You have no concept of a private life do you? Sorry, it just seems sad to keep tabs on someone. I'd be much too busy with my own life to bother doing that.
harmfulsweetz Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 Update: I broke up with her late last night over this. She's good with covering for herself though. As I was leaving she said that her browser used to keep her email and password saved on it so she never really had to remember them. And that's why she couldn't recall them at first. But I was pretty resolute still, and left. I asked her if there's any email from myspace to her or any proof of anything happening in any of her email accounts and she said, "No, she deleted everything." So I've inundated this morning with 18 text messages saying, "I wish you would trust me and know I wouldn't hurt you" in various forms. Dude, you have issues. Browsers do keep passwords and emails too. So it's plausible. Over a myspace account? Seriously? Why not just both scrap them and be done with it?
Author croce Posted June 20, 2010 Author Posted June 20, 2010 Dude, you have issues. Browsers do keep passwords and emails too. So it's plausible. Over a myspace account? Seriously? Why not just both scrap them and be done with it? Well, after some other lies here and there, I had told myself that if any other shady behavior happened I would be out. This was a double whammy. I would have rather just been told, "No. I don't want you seeing it" than what I believe I was lied to over and over.
Author croce Posted June 20, 2010 Author Posted June 20, 2010 Shock! Horror! You have no concept of a private life do you? Sorry, it just seems sad to keep tabs on someone. I'd be much too busy with my own life to bother doing that. We've been together a whole year and I've never once asked to see it. I don't think wanting to check it out one time after a year is that obsessed.
harmfulsweetz Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 We've been together a whole year and I've never once asked to see it. I don't think wanting to check it out one time after a year is that obsessed. Ahhh...but you had access to her phone, email and FB did you not? I suppose, she could have and should have said "no, I don't want you to see it'-but then the thread would be 'she wouldn't let me view her myspace.'
Cracker Jack Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 Wow, dude! You seriously threw your relationship away over that? Probably wasn't even a big deal. I understand not being with someone if you don't trust them, though, but damn!
ecto-1 Posted June 20, 2010 Posted June 20, 2010 Yeah, I was seeing a woman initially, I asked if I could add her to her my FB friends list, I even did a friends req. only to get it denied. Her "reason" "I only allow my family and close friends on there" She figured that us IM'ing or emailing or phone was sufficient. Wierd
Author croce Posted June 20, 2010 Author Posted June 20, 2010 Ahhh...but you had access to her phone, email and FB did you not? Yeah. So getting the runaround on myspace just raised red flags.
Krytie TV Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 Wrong, wrong, wrong! There HAVE to be some things that are private. There has to be some small space somewhere in the universe that is wholly your own. To try to live without that makes people crazy after a while. You cannot have every single thing you do, say, or think subject to someone else's surveillance. Ugh. Forget it. I can tell you're just gonna grasp what I am saying. Then try a den or bedroom or go to a cafe. Denying a long term bf access to your facebook page (which apparently hundreds of other people are good enough for) constitutes "shady".
hoping2heal Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 I totally disagree with you. We've been together for a year and I've never seen the profile. Is it that strange to want to check out a social network page just one time? I don't see a myspace being like a diary. There shouldn't be any thing there I shouldn't be able to see. And again, it's not that she said, "It's private. I don't want you to." She lied about errors and gave my fake passwords. Update: I hadn't talked about it for a few days but asked this morning and she said today that "Oh, I fixed it on Thursday" and "her myspace was under a business account that she only used for resumes." (the email she was giving me before was one of her others) She had used her myspace for years and went on all the time. I don't have any clue how she could have forgot the email she used daily to log on her account. -__- Then she told me the password. But I told her I'm not going to go in it (I'm not as curious anymore). I don't think there would be anything left for you to see anyway. She didn't want you to see it, she got rid of what she didn't want you seeing and now you can go ahead and look.
hoping2heal Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 Update: I broke up with her late last night over this. She's good with covering for herself though. As I was leaving she said that her browser used to keep her email and password saved on it so she never really had to remember them. And that's why she couldn't recall them at first. But I was pretty resolute still, and left. I asked her if there's any email from myspace to her or any proof of anything happening in any of her email accounts and she said, "No, she deleted everything." So I've inundated this morning with 18 text messages saying, "I wish you would trust me and know I wouldn't hurt you" in various forms. Well she was hiding something. That is pretty clear. As to what that is I don't know, but if it wasn't another man (and it may very well not have been) then she didn't trust you, either. So, I guess the road only goes two ways right now. It's either, she was doing something with another man OR she wasn't doing anything; she just doesn't fully trust you and now you don't trust her either.
StarrySkyBlue Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 Yeah, I was seeing a woman initially, I asked if I could add her to her my FB friends list, I even did a friends req. only to get it denied. Her "reason" "I only allow my family and close friends on there" She figured that us IM'ing or emailing or phone was sufficient. Wierd If this is sarcasm it's brilliant. If not, it's disturbing. Why can't people understand that some people are just very private?
phineas Posted June 21, 2010 Posted June 21, 2010 If this is sarcasm it's brilliant. If not, it's disturbing. Why can't people understand that some people are just very private? Why would a very private person create a webpage on a social networking website? what's the point.
Blade Runner Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 (edited) Why would a very private person create a webpage on a social networking website? what's the point. Are you kidding me? Come on. Facebook allows you to make your profile totally private including not having your name show up in the search or even a picture. This kind of feature is perfect for users who don't want to be blasted by the three million douchebags they went to school with who want to write stuff on their wall like "Hey man haven't seen you in aggggggges, we should totally catch uppppppppppp". I know plenty of people that have 15 friends on their facebook account. Close personal friends they want to share photos, information, etc. with. Not to mention they might have friends from other parts of the world. Or who really knows. Maybe they want to be able to stay in touch with some of their family and friends without having to call every single person once a week. Her "reason" "I only allow my family and close friends on there"[/Quote]What's the problem? If you don't end up dating, then she just has to delete you. People with really low friend counts, ie just really close personal friends tend to share more private, or at least more relevant information than "IM GOING TO A PARTY TONIGHT ITS GONNA BE F***ING WILD! (Chad likes this)" If you do end up dating...then I guess she'd add you then. I see nothing wrong with that. Edited June 22, 2010 by Blade Runner
MyNameIsJane Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 Are you kidding me? Come on. Facebook allows you to make your profile totally private including not having your name show up in the search or even a picture. This kind of feature is perfect for users who don't want to be blasted by the three million douchebags they went to school with who want to write stuff on their wall like "Hey man haven't seen you in aggggggges, we should totally catch uppppppppppp". That isn't the point. IT IS HER BOYFRIEND. I cannot believe how many users on here are slamming the OP for wanting to see his GFs myspace page. He didn't have a myspace (hers is clearly set to private) so he asked if he could see it. HE ASKED. That isn't weird. SHE SAID NO (or, came up with a bunch of weird reasons why he cant right now). That IS weird. The reason that is weird is because she is his girlfriend and doesnt want him to see her myspace profile. He isn't a random friend, an ex, a parent.... he's her boyfriend. The fact that you are all making a privacy call is bogus. This isn't a matter of privacy if there are people on myspace who can see her profile (ie: her myspace friends) but her bf isn't allowed. This isn't her phone... this is a social network. And I am sure if any of your SOs wouldn't let you see their profile, you would think something is weird too (though I am sure one of you will reply with "No. I never look at my bf/gfs profile because i trust them completely... blah blah blah.." bull.) She's giving him a reason to be suspicious.... so he should be
Sivok Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 My ex used to get a **** ton of messages and wall posts from myspace creepers looking for lays. I didn't care since I knew she couldn't control them. She got some on facebook too, but nothing compared to Myspace. That could have been a large reason as to why she hasn't logged on in months and didn't want you to log onto her account. I don't know man, you had some extreme trust and insecurity issues in this relationship. In the future, do not ask your girl for passwords to her ****, or this is going to repeat over and over again. More often than not, getting contacted by an ex or old fling when she's happy in a relationship will only be a superlative to you - showing her how much better you are than her ex. I might be looking at the silver lining here, but you need to work on your trust issues/insecurities before jumping into another relationship. I fully understand why you chose to break it off with her due to her derailment of the complete disclosure basis of your relationship, but you two really set the footing for this disaster to happen. Don't do it again in the future, value your privacy as well as hers - you two aren't the same person, you just compliment each other. There's a huge difference.
phineas Posted June 22, 2010 Posted June 22, 2010 Are you kidding me? Come on. Facebook allows you to make your profile totally private including not having your name show up in the search or even a picture. This kind of feature is perfect for users who don't want to be blasted by the three million douchebags they went to school with who want to write stuff on their wall like "Hey man haven't seen you in aggggggges, we should totally catch uppppppppppp". I know plenty of people that have 15 friends on their facebook account. Close personal friends they want to share photos, information, etc. with. Not to mention they might have friends from other parts of the world. Or who really knows. Maybe they want to be able to stay in touch with some of their family and friends without having to call every single person once a week. What's the problem? If you don't end up dating, then she just has to delete you. People with really low friend counts, ie just really close personal friends tend to share more private, or at least more relevant information than "IM GOING TO A PARTY TONIGHT ITS GONNA BE F***ING WILD! (Chad likes this)" If you do end up dating...then I guess she'd add you then. I see nothing wrong with that. I have close personal friends on my facebook page. Want to know how I communicate with them? Over the phone or face to face. Their CLOSE PERSONAL FRIENDS. that means I spend time with them in real life. I honestly do not communicate with many people at all through my facebook. A message here a message there. I've had my FB account for almost yr & all my messages easily fit in one drop down. Also, I doubt the OP is going to post "IM GOING TO A PARTY TONIGHT ITS GONNA BE F***ING WILD!" so that "what if" excuse doesn't really fly.
Blade Runner Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 (edited) That isn't the point. IT IS HER BOYFRIEND[/Quote]I wasn't talking about the OP. Yikes. I was quoting ecto-1. (Read my post again). The OP's issue is a completely different issue - I wasn't talking about that at all. ecto-1's issue was that the girl didn't want to add him to her facebook after they'd only basically just met. Two dates, nothing sexual. That is the issue I was quoting, it has nothing to do with the OP. I actually agree with you about the OP's issue, but you didn't even bother to look back at who I was quoting. Read somebody's post before you rip into them. Edited June 23, 2010 by Blade Runner
blueberries Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 hey OP, the fact that she hadn't been on myspace since january is a good thing in my opinion. maybe she really did forget her password. i know i forget a lot of my passwords too if i don't use it in a while. maybe she did have things on there that she didn't want you to see, things from her past that she's embarrassed about... you said that if she didn't want you to see her site, all she had to do was say "no"... how is she suppose to say no and have you be ok with that? you pretty much backed her into a corner by asking her for her password. i've never let anyone have any of my passwords, not unless i'm getting married or married.
MyNameIsJane Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 I wasn't talking about the OP. Read somebody's post before you rip into them. lol thats exactly what I did apparently. Sorry. But I was referring to other people - not JUST you... I was talking about earlier posts... and then I guess I missed some things and jumped right to the end.
BS76 Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Flirting with a bunch of guys, I wouldn't rule out cheating on you either. That's my first instinct as well. Definitely something fishy going on here. When in doubt go with your gut, which is telling you something is up.
Author croce Posted June 23, 2010 Author Posted June 23, 2010 hey OP, the fact that she hadn't been on myspace since january is a good thing in my opinion. maybe she really did forget her password. i know i forget a lot of my passwords too if i don't use it in a while. maybe she did have things on there that she didn't want you to see, things from her past that she's embarrassed about... you said that if she didn't want you to see her site, all she had to do was say "no"... how is she suppose to say no and have you be ok with that? you pretty much backed her into a corner by asking her for her password. i've never let anyone have any of my passwords, not unless i'm getting married or married. The thing that was weird was that her myspace had been saying "last active Jan 25 2010" and then last week I noticed the "last active" thing was missing or privatized. Maybe a myspace error??? Or she had gone in very recently.
blueberries Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 i don't have myspace, so i don't know how those things work. but i'm guessing the date was updated because she or someone tried to update it? if you have feelings for her and think it's worth saving, then do it. if not then just walk away. it just seems like there's not much trust left on either side, despite what you call an 'open' relationship with each other.
Recommended Posts