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Dreamed of her and forced myself out of bed


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I was broken up with 1 month ago. I made mistakes just like any other guy. The breakup was on the phone. In fact she never even said the words "You're not the one, I don't love you, It's not you, it's me".

 

She said she was disappointed and then started to say I was selfish, amongst some other negative qualities. I stopped her in mid thought and I said that if she was breaking up with me to please do it and not verbally assault me. It actually sounded like she was rationalizing the breakup to herself by listing negative qualities about me. In retrospect, I should have probably driven over to her place and I apologized. I waited a day to cool off and then sent flowers and a sweet email. Didn't work, she officially wanted time to think about everything. The kiss of death.

 

Anyways, I'm lost without her. This morning was so tough. I had a dream of the 2 of us reconciling and being intimate. When I woke, I could literally cry. I miss her so much. I wish she knew how sorry I was and would love to have a "legitimate" conversation in person.

 

I'm almost sure the reason we broke up was because she felt under appreciated. There wasn't another guy, although since a month has passed maybe now there is. It's hard for me to move on since I want her back so much.

 

I hate myself for messing this up.

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