9935natasha Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 Hi guys, after splitting up with a guy i was dating in october....i met a new guy, who showed so much interest in me.. hed shower me with so much attention and compliments, and wed both the same intrest in movies, animals... evrytinh.. it was amazing... hed even tell me why he broke up with his exof 5years....which was a very personal matter and hed not evn mentioned to any of his close matesso i thot he was really interested....but he never proposed...i thot this would come gradually and we beagn secretly dating.... we have common friends, all of them knew there was a spark there..but v never discosed that we were hooking up ...i grew realy close to him and satred telling him all my problems and worries and hed help me feel bettr.(beacuse we are students studyin abroad most of r friends hav left back for home and none of my other close frends are here so v got really close....) then suddenly around march somthin had changed.. the misiin u msgs stoped comin n i knew somthin had changed....he evn stpod replyin to my msgs like he did earlier ever so promptly... one nite i went to another frends party....and after getin kinda high i msged him that i missed him n that i felt somthing had changed and that he wasnt actin th same.... he dint reply... i even called but he never pikd my call.. the next mornin i caled him n he sounded annoyed.. but he said it was because he wasnt well... a few hours later he msged me tat he dint like that id msged him theat hed changed. and told me that i dint hav any rite to say somthin like this coz i wasnt his girfrend and am just a good frend.. and that i shouldnt expect much from him.... i was so heartbroken n i toldhim that id even confront a friend if they were acting wierd without any reason...he replied sayin he dint think hed changed.i cried and cried n cried my heart out alon in my room th whollle day (( later in the nite i get a msg from wishin me goodnite darlin.... a few days since then v have been meetin each other agin n things hav been normal as frends... we evn hooked up a few times after that.... it was all goin smoothly as frends with benefits (although i still do love him) he has never said he loves me in bed, and i havent eithr, atho i say it in my mind th whole time. i just dont coz i dont want to scare him off... altho i love him soo much....the only reason i hook up with him still is coz i long for him, and hoping that that will get him closer to me....and eventually hel understand v should b tgthr.. then he does something even worse... it was his birthday may5th n he had a party n went out with alota people ( evn not so close frends of his ) but he managed to leave me out.. i even called to wish him that night n he dint let me evn think he was at a party...!! later i managaed to see pix of the celebration online... wen i confronted him he says he feels very bad but it all happned suddenly and they were real drunk and it slipped his mind to call me too....and that his roomates who are also friends of mine invited a few ppl randomly... so wat is it now...???? DOESNT HE EVN WANA B FRENDS.... I understood that he dint want me as his girfrend but i was atleast sure we were good frends.... now i dunno wat to believe anymore... was his friendship FAKE TOO??? does friendship hav criterias to meet too???? i even forgave that, and accepted his apology. however recently his ex is back in his life , and initially they started out as friends, but im not sure now... i think he wants to get bak to her, but she doesnt want too....shes there at all r group parties n its drivin me mad the attention that he gives her.... i cry alot of nites thinkin that hel get bak with her anyday n kick me out of his life.... the worry is drivin me mad....the sad part is i like his ex as a person, and we get along real well....also sh knows abt us 2, and is kool with that too....but i dont think itl b long before sh goes bak to him befr sh was back in his life as a frend, i was his constant buddy... hed msg me abt his whole day n i wud tell him abt my whole day too .... now its gettin lesser , n i believ hes tryin to get her bak real hard, however he isnt letting me kno coz he wants me to be on the safer side, his backup plan..... im going crazy, r situation is soo weird.... i feel like iv been used th whole time....and hav allowed it hoping it will lead to somthing betr , this pain i feel is ruining my life... pls help me ... what do i need to understnd and how do i deal with this situation...
Viking Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 How do you expect an answer when I can't read half or more of what you've written? All of this text speak is so friggin annoying! Please use proper punctuation, spelling and full words next post. Sounds like (from what I can read) he realized that his ex girlfriend is someone who he can't leave out of his life (he was with her for 5 years...!). You have only been dating for a little bit, and even then there wasn't a title for you as his girlfriend. Your role might have been diminished in the eyes of your mutual friends because you kept is a "secret". Who's idea was it to keep it a "secret"? If it was his, he was just waiting for his ex to come back to him.
bolase Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 The breakup thread is probably the best one but I'm sorry, that's horrible and yes it's hard to turn someone down when you love them, even though you should in this situation. No matter how hard it is, and how confusing, stop, look outside the situation - spend a day somewhere outside your town maybe? You have to demand the best from others or they won't give it to you. He won't because you haven't demanded respect and openness si far. So don't offer him your friendship,if he tries to contact you, ignore it. If he asks why, tell him he really doesn't deserve your friendship and it isn't making your life happier at the moment. But try to leave it. Sounds like he is a coward and doesn't respect himself because he can't be honest about seeing you, but sees you anyway. Don't see him, see someone who is proud of you.!!!!!!!!!!! Try to stay out of touch with him, talk about it with your family or friends if you can, and hang out in different places.
romango Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 How do you expect an answer when I can't read half or more of what you've written? All of this text speak is so friggin annoying! Please use proper punctuation, spelling and full words next post. Ditto. I'm too exhausted from that torturous read to respond.
Viking Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 Sounds like he is a coward and doesn't respect himself because he can't be honest about seeing you, but sees you anyway. Don't see him, see someone who is proud of you.!!!!!!!!!!! That is one thing that I do for my GF, I tell her that I am proud of her and proud to call her my GF. I am not sure what her response on that topic is, but I have told her nonetheless.
threebyfate Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 I managed to torture my way through part of it until I got to this: we beagn secretly dating If you're hidden, there's a reason. Never, ever, ever, trust anyone who keeps your "relationship" hidden.
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